She who Hesitates is Lost
by Kuroumo
Summary: Story about my OC, little sister of HP. More OCs in it, and not always accurate to the story. I don't own Harry Potter, or any of the characters in it. Kerkera, Seiji and Raven are not my characters. I wholly aknowledge that some ideas in this story do no
1. The Beginning

She didn't understand why she was only going now. It should have been last year. Well, she did understand. They had been trying to protect her, and she was very lucky to be getting in at all, especially in what was meant to be her second year. She new her peers would consider her a dunce, but she had actually studied for this. She had been home-schooled by emus nearly her whole life; just never actually put any of her magic into practice.

At least he had told her everything about herself, and her brother. It was just her brother who now needed to know, but she wasn't to tell him. That was up to Dumbledore. She would just have to pretend until then.

But she was so curious about what he looked like, and whether she looked like him at all. Remus had always told her that she did, when he had compared her to the pictures in the Daily Prophet. But pictures could be deceiving, couldn't they? Like the ones of her parents, looking so happy and smiley, like the ones of her as a toddler, screaming her head off.

Remus walked into her room, "Kara? KARA?" she woke up from her daydream. "Are you nearly all ready?"

"Ummmm…yup. Yes, I think I am."

"Are you sure you've got everything?"

"Yes, I am perfectly sure."

"Ok then, lets get going."

They left the house, dragging heavy trunks behind them. As they got onto a busier road, he hailed a taxi, not something generally done by wizards, but they were in a hurry, "Kings Cross Station, please."

As the taxi sped through the busy streets of London, she contemplated the future, hoping it would go well. They reached the station, and were met by hordes of children seeping onto platform 9. As they walked on, the kids began to multiply, and then disappear, and then multiply again. They walked towards one of the barricades on the platform, still dragging their cases. "Ready?" Remus asked her.

"Ready as I'll ever be," she replied. She watched as Remus walked towards the barricade and disappeared through it, took a deep breath, and followed him, closing her eyes as she passed between the two worlds. She bumped into something, or someone on the other side, and nearly screamed as she fell, until Remus reached out and caught her. "Be careful."

"Sorry." She followed him onto the train, and as he found them an empty carriage. As he settled down, she tried to do the same, but she was so nervous! She watched as Remus closed his eyes, and fell into a deep sleep. She nearly did the same, until three people entered the cabin, talking loudly to each other.


	2. The End of the Start

They looked at Remus in amazement, not noticing her. She was glad that she could make myself as small as possible. They eyed him with suspicion, regarding his shabby clothes. Those were partly here fault, as he had been her to buy robes and books for school. She had money, but not much.

One of the kids spoke. He was tall, and had a shock of ginger hair, and a face full of freckles, "Who d'you reckon he is?" he hissed to his two friends, another boy, who was tall and had dark hair and glasses, and a girl, with mousy brown bushy hair.

"Professor R. J. Lupin," she read off the side of his chest. They then settled down and started talking about the boy. She soon discovered that he was Harry Potter, and was so shocked, she nearly revealed herself, catching herself just in time. That had been a close one.

Their conversation proceeded to talk about the recent breakout from Azkaban. The discussed Sirius Black, an old friend of Remus' and my father's. Not that they knew that. They continued talking, and she copied Remus, and fell asleep, rocked by the train.

Next thing she knew, it was lunchtime, and a witch with a food trolley had just bought the others in the compartment some food. But she wasn't hungry. She just sat and watched Harry; curious of this person she had heard so much about.

They became quiet suddenly, and she watched as three more boys entered the compartment. She was strangely amazed from the aura of the smallest of the three…and the other two were obviously his cronies. She remained silent as they began to taunt her "companions", whose names were Harry, Ron and Hermione.

It took a while for these new guys to notice Remus' presence, and she watched in amazement as their taunting became more and more cruel, so much so that she was about to speak out. She moved slowly and quietly, like a cat, standing up, and emerging from the shadows. Doing this, however, she felt a horrible presence in the room, and felt all her happiness sucked out of her, leaving her with only hatred and pain. She felt her world spinning, and fought to keep her consciousness. She sat hurriedly on the chair, and though of a simple smile, willing the pain to go away.

As the world slowly drifted back into colour, she looked around the carriage, to see that Remus was now awake. Harry was lying on the floor, looking half dead, and she would have stood if she had had the energy. She watched, as Remus handed out chocolate, and the kids in the carriage, for there were now more, looked at it, unsure of what to do. As she received a piece, she nibbled off a little bit, letting the taste linger on her tongue.

Remus returned and they soon neared the station in Hogsmeade, and a new chapter in her life.


	3. All for One, One for All

She wasn't allowed to attend the feast, or the first assembly. Instead, she was lead into a room, presumably one of the teacher's offices. She sat awkwardly in one of the chairs, now beginning to feel nervous. She sat, shivering although she was warm in her witch's robes, and despite the big and bright fire burning in the room. The chair was made of a soft and lumpy material, yet was still cozy, and she allowed herself to sink into it, and relax. As a wave of tiredness washed over her, she closed her eyes, and leant her head back against the headrest. Before she knew it, she was asleep.

She awoke to a gentle shaking, that was getting steadily firmer. As she opened her eyes, she looked up to see an elderly, yet young looking woman looking at her. "My name is Professor Sprout," she said. "If you'll come with me, I'll take you to your room. You're going to be in my house, for a week. The headmaster decided it." she followed her from the office she had been in, and back into the entrance hall. Upon reaching here she led her through a door beside the main stairs. She followed her down a long and brightly lit corridor, until they came to a painting. Here, Professor Sprout turned to Kara, "this is the entrance to Hufflepuff Common Room." She spoke to the painting, a password, and it swung open, revealing a warm and cozy looking room. Few people still sat up, and those that did must have at least been fifth years. They all started upon seeing their head of house walk in. As Professor Sprout walked over to one of the older girls, Kara used the opportunity to look around. The room was homely, and she instantly felt at ease. When Professor Sprout again came over to her, she was looking at the ceiling, noting that it was quite low.

She didn't here the professor talking to her, "Kara? Kara? Come, I will take you to your room. Follow me." She swept up some stairs and as Kara followed her, she felt the yes of the others in the common room on her.

Professor Sprout led her into a room, in which a few other beds were. There was one empty. "You'll sleep here whilst you are staying. You'll get your timetable in the morning. Sleep well," and she left the room again.

Kara settled into Hufflepuff quite quickly, finding herself at ease with the people around her. But she found that they were not challenging, they seemed to be sweet and kind people, but not the right sort of people. A few, mainly in the year above, were slightly pompous. And then there was the one girl in her year who was slightly insane; they called her "Loony" Lovegood, which she thought was quite mean.

The week passed quickly, in a flash she knew she didn't belong in Hufflepuff, and when she was called to see Professor Sprout, it was obvious that the professor also knew this. Her next stop was to be Ravenclaw.

Again she spent a week in Ravenclaw, and felt that her intellect and intelligence was equaled and excelled by many in it. She found herself enjoying her time there, but not wishing to stay. Kara once again went to see her current head of house, and he told her that her time was up, "I hope you might come back to us." She just smiled. She was passed onto the next head of year, and was instantly shocked by the change in reception, for the other two houses had been welcoming. This was not. It would be a challenge.

Her head of year greeted her with an icy voice, "I know who you are. And I wont tolerate any bad news in my house. You will do according to your elders and betters. You will listen to them, and treat them with respect. If not, you will be punished."

She gulped.

"Oh, and welcome to Slytherin."

She grimaced as she entered my new common room. The walls were bare and dank, and the room still had a certain chill to it, despite the fire. The inhabitants became silent when she walked in, and it was only when one of them stood up to walk over to her that they began to whisper.

The boy walked over to her, tall and blonde, he looked majestic in his school robes, "So you're the one that everyone is talking about?"

"Ummmm…I don't know?"

"The one who can't stay in more than one house for a week?"

"Oh, yeah that's me."

"You're not very outspoken are you?"

"No. I keep my thoughts to myself."

"Hmmmm…strange…you seem familiar. And yet cool," he turned to the staring housemates, "she's fine. Go back to your work. My name is Draco Malfoy," he held out his hand for me.

"Kara," she took it.

"Kara?"

"Just Kara."

He looked bewildered.

_A/N…SORRY…but im gonna have to go into first person. Too hard trying to write in third._

I enjoyed my time with the Slytherins, fitting right in with the motley lot. I spent most of my spare time with Draco, and they all said that I fancied him, which I didn't. He liked me. He would follow me around, and occasionally we would spend time alone. But nothing more.

I enjoyed my lessons, soon excelling in most, thanks to my prior knowledge. The teachers didn't seem to mind me, and other than Remus, they all treated me well. He though it would be ok to treat me with contempt. Typical man.

The week ended all too quickly for me, but they all thought I would be back. I did too. Only one house left. Gryffindor.


	4. Ghosts of Memories Past

Gryffindor house. House of the brave and intelligent. House of those with courage. House of him. Only he still didn't know. I knew that the moment I entered their house they would not like me, mainly because I had been friendly with Malfoy, who was their mutual enemy. I entered into their common room, wary and nervous, unsure of their opinions of me. My theory was correct however, and they did not want anything to do with me. I went and unpacked my things, and sat on my large bed, feeling utterly sorry for myself, and missing being in Slytherin, when I heard someone entering. I didn't bother to look at them, so convinced was I that they would want nothing to do with me.

I looked up when I felt someone touch my shoulder, and saw before me a tall girl, with long flowing hair. A smile played across her face, and her eyes flashed animatedly. "Hey," she said.

I sniffed, not realising that I had actually been crying, "Hi."

"My name's Kerkera."

"Kara."

"Pleased to meet you." She smiled, "Hang on, aren't you the one that's been going through all the houses, like ALL of the houses."

"Yes," my eyes flashed, "is that a bad thing?"

"No, I just wondered, I mean, it would be pretty cool to meet everyone like that, don't you think. Come, I'll introduce you to everyone!"

I followed her out of the dorm and into the common room, where she walked over to another girl, whom I recognised as being in our year. "This is Ginny, Ginny Weasely. Ginny, this is Kara, Kara, um, sorry, what was your last name?"

"Potter."

And the common room went silent. No one made a sound, and everyone just stared. Now he knew. Now most people would know. They were all intrigued now. And then he spoke, "What did you say?"

I cleared my throat, nervously, "I said, my surname is Potter."

"How do you spell that?"

"P-O-T-T-E-R."

He looked pale, but at that moment one of the kids from the year below me came running into the common room, saying that Dumbledore wanted to see Harry and Kara Potter, at once. We climbed out of the common room door together, and hurried to Dumbledore's office, Harry rather leading the way as I was still getting used to my surroundings. When we reached the door, Harry seemed to already know the password, and we quickly climbed onto the moving staircase that carried us up to the Headmaster's office. We knocked on the door, and entered when instructed.

Dumbledore was sitting behind his desk, smiling slightly. Also in the room were Snape, Lupin and Professor McGonnagall. "Ah, take a seat," Dumbledore spoke warmly as he magicked up two chairs. Harry and I seated ourselves, and Dumbledore began to speak.

By the time he had finished, Harry was looking angry, and I was in tears. He had finished with one of the worst lines, "Harry, this is your sister."

"NO WAY! THERE IS NO WAY SHE COULD BE MY SISTER."

"Harry, we've already explained it all to you,"

"BUT IT'S NOT TRUE. ITS NOT FAIR," and he gasped, as if he hadn't meant to say that.

At last, I spoke, "You're right. It's not fair. It's not fair that you had to grow up with people you hated, its not fair that you never knew the truth. But its life, and if it hadn't not been fair, then it might have never ended up like this, might it?"

He looked ashamed.

Dumbledore was smiling.

I continued, "Can you not forget about it all not being fair, and live for the now, and maybe then it might become fair? It won't be fair if you walk away from what could potentially be a big change in your life. You have the chance to extend your family. If I were you, I' take it. Or we both lose out."

He looked at me, "Are you sure its true?"

Dumbledore answered, "Positive. Now then, it is getting late, and I believe it is getting towards dinner time, so if you two run along, and find your friends. Actually, Harry, you go on, Kara, I'd like a word."

Harry and the other teachers left the room, Snape looking awfully grumpy. Dumbledore waited until they had before speaking, "And how are you finding Hogwarts so far, Miss Potter?"

"It is brilliant, sir."

"Have you decided on a house, yet?"

"No, professor. I have not yet had the chance to explore Gryffindor properly. But I am still not sure."

"You have a week to make your decision."

"Yes, professor."

"Now, run along, and join your house. Supper is about to start."

I rushed along the corridors back to Gryffindor common room, and climbed through the portrait hole. This time I yet again received a warm greeting, and Kerkera came rushing up to me, "Harry told us."

"He told everyone?"

"No, only me, the Weasely's and Hermione Granger."

"Oh, ok. I hope he doesn't tell anyone else."

"I don't think he wants to. But isn't it so cool?"

"It is?"

"YES!"

"Oh, um why?"

"BECAUSE!"

"Because what!"

"Actually, I don't know."

"Heh."

"Anyway, we like, need to do our homework. I think we have all the same lessons."

"Yeah."

I liked her, she was so friendly, and actually quite accepting.

We walked down to the dinning hall together, Kerkera, Ginny, Harry, Ron and I, and as they went on ahead of me, I was accosted by Draco.

"So, are they all as scummy as they look?" he asked.

"Hm, not too sure. Any case, how you doing?"

"Not too bad. Yourself?"

"Ok. Well, I'll see you around."

"Um, ok. Sure. Bye." He looked at me, as I walked away, stunned that I had snubbed him so subtly.

I took my place between Kerkera and Ginny, and began to help myself to some vegetables, being a vegetarian. Ron looked at my plate in shock, "aren'tyougoingtohaveanymeat?" he spoke with his mouth full.

I looked at him blankly, whilst Hermione translated.

"He said, aren't you going to have any meat?"

"Vegetarian."

"Oh, ok. Cool."

"What's a vegetarian? Ron asked.

His older twin brothers sat down next to us, "It means she doesn't eat meat, ignoramus," said one of them as he slapped him round the head. "George," he held his hand out to me, and I took it, "Harry here told us all about you."

"Oh, um. Ok." I was embarrassed.

"Oh, and I'm Fred," spoke the other one.

"Hi."

Dinner passed quickly, and Ron still couldn't seem to get over how little I ate. We returned to the common room, and whilst the others did their homework, I sat and read a book. It was written in sloping handwriting, and I was soon deeply engrossed in it.

I didn't notice the Common Room emptying, until it was only Harry and I left in it. He came and sat by the fire, near to me, and was sitting there, sighing occasionally, until it began to bug me.

"Quits sighing."

"What? Oh. Um, sorry. Long day."

"Emotional day."

"Yeah. Still don't understand it all."

"What isn't there to understand?"

"That you're my sister, per chance?"


	5. WTF! Christmas Time

"Well, I'm sorry then!" urg, boys were always SO annoying.

He looked at me nervously, and my eyes were slowly filling with unwanted tears. "Look, I'm sorry. I didn't mean it like that. I just meant it is, well, it's weird to suddenly find out that you have a sister. I mean, come off it, I knew nothing about you. Nothing."

"Well, that's not my fault. I knew about you, but I wasn't allowed to contact you, see you. Nothing. It has been the same for both of us. Being brought up as lonely children, alone, and as we thought, without anyone to care for us."

"Apart from you did have someone caring."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, at least you knew," he too was starting to get angry, "At least you knew you could do magic, and at least you lived with someone who loved you."

He had got me there.

"I'm sorry." And I burst into the unwanted tears that had been eating at my heart.

He stood, and looked at me for a second, before slowly walking, hesitantly over the rug towards me. He put his arms around me, and gathered me in a brotherly hug, "It'll be all right now, won't it?" I asked.

"Yes. Yes, it will."

As it turned out, it was going to be sort of alright. I didn't leave Gryffindor, and quickly earned the hatred of all the Slytherins. I wasn't sure if Draco hated me or not, as when I bumped into him alone, he seemed his old self with me, but with others he would call me all sorts of derisive and harsh names. I was so confused.

My lessons went as well as could be hoped, and I spent most of my free time with Kerkera, and Ginny. We would often join in with Harry, Hermione and Ron as well, and often I would sit and talk with all my friends well into the night.

We spoke of all our different childhoods, and also how we had got into the school. All of them were shocked to find out that I had never been to school before this. I mean, it was my second year.

I simply told them I had been studying at home, but I had never actually possessed a wand or used one until now.

Christmas came, and the whole school was beautifully decorated. I didn't stay long to enjoy it, however, as that Christmas I was going back to Kerkera's, spending the time with her and her family.

The train journey was tedious and cold and I watched the snow falling, and dreamt of the joys of Christmas, whilst Kerkera snored happily beside me. I knew all about why the muggles celebrated Christmas, but personally I didn't particularly like it, being slightly pagan myself, but still, the present were good.

On Christmas morning I woke up to find a large pile of presents at the bottom of my bed, in the room that Kerkera had given me. I was just about to open one, when Kerkera bounded into the room, her arms full, and she squealed in happiness, "Lets open them together!"

She sat on the bed with me, and we began to open our present, starting with the ones that we had exchanged. I had bought her the most amazingly bright pink, fluffy and glittery quill, and she some chocolates for me. Thanking each other, we opened the rest of our presents. Most of my other presents seemed to be chocolate, apart from a book from Hermione, and some kind of musical instrument, that looked weird, and seemed to have some swirling material inside the parts that appeared to be wooden. I looked at Kerkera uncertainly, "What the hell is this?"

"No idea."

"Boys are weird"

"You said it."

I also had a present from Draco, which surprised me, all be it that it was only chocolate, but still, food was food.

And then I got to my last present. It was big and heavy, and when I picked it up I was sure I could hear a squeaking noise inside it. The tag read that it was from Lupin, and I carefully opened it, praying that it wasn't a mouse or some other scary creature that he seemed to be obsessed with.

It wasn't. In fact, it was a small, beautifully formed little kitten. Small green eyes looked at me, surrounded by fluffy buff coloured fur (sorry…couldn't resist). It mewed pathetically, so I picked it up, and cuddled the warm fluff ball deep into my chest.

"Its. So. Cute!" Kerkera finally managed to speak.

"Thank you," I whispered, hoping that Lupin, wherever he was, would hear me.

I named the fluff ball Persephone. However for some reason, the name Fluff-ball also stuck. So Persephone the Fluff-ball started to mewl more than ever, and by them time we were on the train back to school, I started to get annoyed. She would follow me everywhere, and not leave me alone. She was also still small enough to fit into the palm of my hand.

Crookshanks seemed to like her at once, but I kept hi far away. I would cuddle the Fluff-ball late into the night, sitting or lying on the floor in front of the fire, reading a book.

One evening, I was lying on the rug, and semi-reading, yet also day-dreaming and dozing at the same time. I didn't realise that everyone had gone into bed until someone crouched down beside me. It was Fred Weasely.

"Um, Kara," he spoke quietly. "Everyone else had gone to bed."

"Oh, ok," I struggled to my feet still holding Fluff-ball. He helped me up.

"Are you going, already?"

"Well, yeah. It's pretty late!" what was he on about; he had basically just told me to go to bed.

"Well, I wanted to ask you something," he was still talking so quietly. But what would a fifth-year ever want to know from a second-year.

"Yes?" I smiled sweetly.

"Well, I know we haven't known each other that long."

I looked at him expectantly.

"But, well, I was wondering."

"Yes?" I wished he would hurry up, I really needed a wee.

"If you would think about going out with me?"

Everything went black.


	6. Mixed Emotions

I blinked my eyes open again, and was shocked by the different surroundings. I wasn't at home. I wasn't at Kerri's house, and I definitely wasn't in the Gryffindor Common Room. I blinked again, trying to clear my head, and figure out where I was. Eventually, I remembered that I had fainted, and came to the conclusion that I was probably in the hospital wing, or somewhere like that.

My suspicions were confirmed. A scary-looking woman came bustling over. She must be Madam Pomfrey, the school 'nurse'. She looked at me quickly, and seeing that I was awake, came and checked on me.

"Feeling better now?"

"I never felt ill in the first place."

"Well, just take it easy, and I want you to take this," and before I could object, she poured some vile tasting fluid down my throat. It burnt, and I instantly felt revived, and nearly my usual hyperactive self. I was about to ask her if I could leave, when she spoke, "Oh, and some young boy wanted to talk to you. I think he was a Weasely, judging by the hair. Dint leave a message, said he'd talk to you later…"

Oops, I had forgotten about Fred.

"Well then. I'll keep you in here for the rest of the night. Back to lessons in the morning, though."

I nodded, and let my head sink deep into the pillow once more, feeling sleep wash over me, and drown my senses.

The next morning I felt much better, although still a little shaky, as I still knew not the reason for which I had fainted. I made my way down to the dining hall, but carefully avoided my friends, and extended friends, sitting at a far corner of the table, and burying myself in notes for an essay on pixies that Lupin had set. Stupid godfather.

I heard the owls come streaming in, yet took no notice, I seldom received mail, so it made no difference to me. I finished my meagre breakfast quickly, and fairly ran to my first lesson, Potions. I felt stupid, as I wasn't eager, although I didn't mind it, so long as there was no fire. For some weird reason, I had a fear of fire, and it alarmed me. I had scars from a burn on my stomach, and I felt so ashamed of it. I never had the self-confidence to show it to people, so I hid it instead.

I was the only one there by the time Professor Snape came, and was lucky to be one of the few students in Gryffindor whom he mildly tolerated, as I was neither to outspoken, or bolshy, I never forced answers to questions, and I always handed work in on time, and carried out experiments correctly, no matter what my fears.

I managed to get through the lesson successfully, and not get hurt by the happy little fire that was burning under my cauldron. I made my way outside, to Care of Magical Creatures, and was warmly greeted by the large half-giant of a teacher, Hagrid. He had yet again found some scary magical creature to nearly kill us all with, and I think the whole class was glad when the lesson finally ended, and we could have lunch.

Everyone made their way back to the main school, and most people went to he dining room, Kerkera and Ginny included. They tried to drag me with them, but I pleaded in the case of an essay on pixies, and made my way to the library, rushing in, and trying to avoid the evil glare of Madame Pince. I sat at a private booth by myself, and pulled out some parchment, a long black quill, and some ink. Writing in my thin and slanting handwriting, I began my essay, using all the notes I had made, and an hour later I had a four-foot long essay, which was a lot more than required.

I wasn't really hungry, so I decided to go outside, and enjoy a bit of the winter sunshine, although most people were staying in, complaining of the cold. I found a quiet spot under a tree by the lake, and settled under it. The ground was hard, and not at all muddy, and I sat for a while, pulling some parchment and charcoal out of my bag. I began to sketch the forest, and the clouds on the skyline, shading in areas of dark and light.

He came, and sat next to me, although I never heard his approach, so absorbed was I in my artwork. When he sat down next to me, I jumped out of my skin, and nearly died when he spoke, "That's good."

"WHAT!"

"I'm sorry. Did I disturb you?"

"Would you care if you had done?"

"Not really," his voice came out in a soft drawl, as he pushed back a length of my hair from my face. I cocked my head onto one side, to look at him, and gave him a one-sided smile.

He nearly returned it, and began to lean in towards me…


	7. Falling Snow

Our lips touched quickly, and I jumped up, a shiver running through me. What the hell was I doing? Ion my feet, I looked at him in horror, "I'm sorry," I stuttered, before turning to the castle and sprinting towards it.

"Kara, wait." He called.

I turned back momentarily, and hesitated as I spoke, "I can't. I'm sorry," I took a deep breath. "I'm sorry, Draco," I turned once again and sprinted in the direction of the school, not stopping until I had reached the classroom for my next lesson. It was History of Magic, and one of the most boring lessons ever. I couldn't concentrate at all, and as I haphazardly attempted to make notes, my mind wandered, and I found myself back down by the lake, talking to him once again.

I snapped back to, when Kerkera nudged me, and I noticed that everyone else was packing up, and preparing to go to dinner. I still found myself void of all hunger, and so I instead made my way back to the deserted common room, where I settled in front of the fire and did my Potions homework, whilst the going was good, and there was little noise in the room.

Finishing as the first people returned from dinner, I put my stuff away and went and found Fluff-Ball, who was all fluffed up in a little ball on my bed. I grabbed him and carried him back down to the chair in front of the fire, and sat once more in the chair, dreaming whilst stroking my little cat. I was in a world of my own, and so I jumped when Kerkera and Ginny came and started to speak to me, causing Persephone made a weird noise _(A/N ok, I met a cat in the street that COULD NOT miaow, and it made a really weird choking noise instead that was really freaky_) and dug her claws deep into my poor legs, causing me to jump once more, and her to roll to the floor. Kerkera and Ginny just stood there ad laughed, until I glared at them, shutting them up. They muttered simple apologies, before joining me, Kerkera sitting in another armchair, and Ginny sitting on the rug in front of the fire, playing with Persephone, and a ball of wool.

We talked until quite late into the night, and I couldn't help but notice that they hadn't actually done their Potions homework, which I helpfully reminded them about, as they made their ways to the dorm. I told them that I would be up in a minute, and sat by the fire for a while longer, gazing deep into its glowing embers. Hearing soft sounds coming from what could be outside, I walked over to the window by one of the desks, and looked out onto the grounds, admiring at how peaceful and beautiful it all looked in the heavy dusk. And then I noticed, it was snowing! Large, beautifully formed snowflakes that were drifting down, and settling heavily on the ground. I was so wrapped up in watching them settle in the cold outside, that I didn't even notice the portrait-hole opening, and only heard him, when he stood behind me, and breathed down my neck.

"Have you been avoiding me?"

I pirouetted around to face him, "Fred!" I didn't know what to say, "Um, no."

"I think you might have been, none of us have seen you all day."

I did my best to hide the truth, and not to show him that he was right, "it looks beautiful, doesn't it?" I indicated the snow.

He looked confused momentarily, and was about to question me further on the previous subject, when he looked out of the window, sighing, "Yes. Yes, it is."

We both stood in silence, looking out of the window, until I could bear it no more, I turned to him, and spoke, the words falling out of my mouth in a rush, "I'm sorry. I've been avoiding you. I was scared. You're so much older than me. And I like you. But I can't like you. You're too much older than me. But I like you, and I can't like you. I'm sorry."

I ran from the room, tears streaming from my eyes. Opening the dorm door, I flew across the room, and threw myself onto the bed, pulling the hangings tightly shut behind me.


	8. Seasons May Change

A year later, too much had happened. It was all too confusing, and difficult to understand, but the simple things were that Harry's godfather, Sirius Black, had turned up, and then disappeared again, everyone had discovered that Remus was a werewolf, and he had disappeared, and I had been left alone for the summer. I had left Platform 9 ¾, with nowhere to go. I sat on Platform 9, holding the Fluff-Ball in a basket, waiting for Remus to come, not that he ever did. I was all alone. I couldn't even use magic to get myself out of here. Stupid Ministry of Magic, with its dumb age laws.

I eventually took a taxi to the Black Cauldron, and with the little money I had, I booked a room, and also borrowed an owl, and sent it to Harry, explaining my embarrassing situation. He wrote back almost immediately, and told me to wait there, and that someone would come and pick me up soon. He never told me who.

The following morning I had gone down to eat something in the tavern, as for once I was semi-hungry even thought the food was the most dissatisfying grossness ever. I made my way back up to my room, and planned a day of sitting around doing nothingness. Well, that is what I would have done, had it not been for someone rudely awakening me, at a very inconsiderate point in time, in the form of a Weasely.

"FRED!" I shouted, "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING HERE?"

"Harry told us you were here, so we came to fetch you."

"Fetch me where?"

"To my house,"

"OUR house," George appeared, followed by Mr. Weasely.

"Well, yes," Fred continued, "we are here, to cordially invite you, Miss. Potter, to our humble residence. Now, if you would be so kind as to take my arm, and follow me," he grabbed my hand and dragged me into the fire. I tried to resist, but before I could do anything, he threw a handful of green powder into the air, and called out the name of his home. The flames engulfed us, and yet I felt no pain, although fear was rising up inside of me.

My head swam, as the space around me swirled, and I ended up in a heap on the floor, in a homely looking kitchen. As Fred helped me up, George and Mr. Weasely also appeared, and I looked around me, noticing Mrs. Weasely, and Ginny sitting at a table in the corner. Both of them immediately jumped up, and greeted me, Ginny overpowering me in one of the most ginormous glomps ever, and Mrs Weasely by giving me a motherly hug, and introducing herself, and Mr. Weasely to me properly. I noticed that Fred had somehow managed to drag the trunk with him, and the Fluff-Ball too. All my worldly possessions in one small space.

"Harry's coming later in the summer," Mrs. Weasely told me. "He'll be coming for the Quidditch world cup. I suppose you'll want to go, dear?"

How to say no politely, I had done my best to try, but I just couldn't.

And so, we went to the Quidditch world cup, and it was all fantastic fun, what, with the death-eaters turning up, and the dark mark appearing in the sky, etc…

And so we all returned to school, and Kerkera nearly killed us all on the train, by hugging us too hard. The lunch trolley came, and I just about managed to survive, even though Ron was sitting next to me, eating meat and meat pies, shovelling it into his mouth, I actually began to feel quite ill. I decided to get up, and go for a walk down he train, as I also needed the loo, so I though I my as well go in search of one.


	9. Mother Said Not to Speak to Strangers

I walked down the corridors of the slowly rocking train, hunting for the toilets. I was really starting to need to pee, and I could finally see the sign for the toilets. I walked a little faster, and was nearly at the door, when something from behind put its hand over my mouth, and pulled me into an empty compartment. I had now worked out that it definitely wasn't an it, but a he. And when he finally released me, I spun round to face him, my eyes flashing. He looked at me, a soft smile playing around his face. I was quite angry, and whilst I went off in a full-on rant, he pulled down the blinds on the window, and slumped into the seat. I was still moaning, when he put his hands around my waist, and pulled me onto his lap. I tried to continue speaking, but he put his finger to my lips, so I shut up, although the angry look remained on my face.

"I missed you this summer."

"You're just saying that."

"No, really I did."

"I know you didn't. You probably hate me."

"I don't."

"Prove it," Dammit, why did I say that?

Oh well, it was too late, because before I knew it, he had pulled me closer towards him, and firmly planted hi lips on mine. I tried to fight it, but I couldn't, and so I melted into it, letting him kiss me.

After what felt like an eternity, he released me from the small room, and let me walk back to my own compartment. I walked in my dream world, and almost collided with several people, including the guy who was considered to be the stud of the school, Cedric Diggory. I lowered my head, and walked past, blushing obviously.

After what seemed like an eternity, he had walked past, and I had finally reached my compartment again, in which Kerkera was sitting, reading.

"Hey, we'd better get changed soon. Not far to Hogsmeade."

She looked up, startled, and nodded. We pulled some robes out of our trunks, and pulled them over our heads, straightening out any creases. I took a seat by a window, and found myself thinking back to what had just happened. I was awoken from my daydream by Harry, Ron, Hermione and Ginny walking into the compartment, and telling Kerkera and I to get ourselves towards a door, pronto like.

Climbing off the train, my trunk dragging behind, I made my way towards one of the carriages, which were drawn by nothing. We entered the school, and made our way to the Hall, and the welcoming feast.

The welcoming feast was an eventful happening, and Dumbledore announced at it an event that set the whole school talking. Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry was set to hold the Triwizard Tournament, an ancient competition held by the main wizarding schools in the world, Hogwarts, Durmstrang, and Beauxbatons. The pupils of these schools were to come and stay with us for the year, coming shortly before Halloween, and staying throughout the year, whilst the tournament took place.

The school buzzed with the news, and few people actually attempted to do any work, as Halloween eve drew closer and closer.

The school was decorated to such an extent, obviously to impress or visitors. Their visit was awaited with much anticipation, and finally the day of their arrival came. Lessons were pointless, as the little concentration we had had for the start of the term had now completely vanished.

And then, from the sky, came a magnificent carriage, drawn by beautiful flying horses. Everyone flocked to the windows, to stare with amazement at the wonderful thing. The pupils and headmistress alighted, the headmistress herself being a giant of a woman, I think quite literally. They had but arrived, when we heard a disturbance by the great lake, and before anybody knew it, the surface was filled with ripples, that billowed up and revealed a gaping hole in the lakes surface, from which a ship emerged, its sails floating in a breeze.

We made our way to the great hall, for a feast, and to be formally introduced to our guests. The moment the students from the French school entered the room, the boys from Hogwarts swooned at the sight of the so-called beautiful' French girls. After they had wowed the boys, the sight of the Durmstrang students, the star pupil of which seemed to be the one and only Viktor Krum, famous Quidditch player, yet again shocked them, and I laughed as Ron's mouth dropped open. However, I think it was Ron who ruined the image for the whole of Gryffindor, as the Durmstrang pupils went to sit at the Slytherin table, and the Beauxbatons went to sit with the Ravenclaws. Ron didn't do very well in concealing his disappointment, and Kerkera, Ginny and I then proceeded to spend the rest of the evening teasing him, before the rules of the tournament were properly announced.

I listened hard, along with the rest of the people in the hall, as Professor Dumbledore announced the rules to the Triwizard tournament, and soon a large outcry was heard, when Dumbledore announced that no wizard or witch under the age of 17 was allowed to enter the tournament. I stopped listening soon after this, losing the little interest I had had. I preferred my books, and my studies. Tournaments and sports didn't amuse me, unless there was duelling involved, which was always fun.

We were finally let out of the hall, and as everyone started to make their way to various common rooms, I felt my wand slide from my pocket, and hit the floor. My wand was made of silver birch, and contained unicorn hair and bone powder. But the wand wasn't mine originally, it had had several owners before me, and each had either died, or become cursed. Most people had been put off by this story, but I had fallen in love with it the moment I saw it, and it suited me, and I was still alive. It was elegantly carved, and due to the tree it came from, and the unicorn it held inside it, the carved bits glowed, revealing a beautiful and intricate pattern.

I turned on the stairs, to find it, and then everything seemed to go into slow-motion, as I saw a boy with longish messy brown hair stoop to pick it up, and I screamed at him to stop, before I knew anything, he had picked it up, and the wand had let out a sort of wave from his hand. It sent out a force field that seemed to seep around everyone's ankles, knocking there feet out from under them, and leaving them on the floor, writhing in pain. I jumped in the air, to avoid the wave, and shouted at the same time, my wand hand outstretched, "_Accio Wand!" _And the wand came out of the hands of the boy, and flew towards mine.

I snatched at it, and the moment it touched my fingers, I knew I had to clear up this force field-like thing, that was slowly harming everyone, as the whole entrance hall was filled with people writhing on the floor in pain, pupils from all three schools, and teachers alike. Holding my wand, and pointing it at the boy who had picked it up for me, I spoke a quick charm, in a mere whisper, hoping it would counter-attack the curse, "_evertere undanima_."

At once the wave disappeared, and slowly people seemed to lose any pain they had felt, and stand up. I hastily hid my wand once more, and looked over the people, who were slowly standing up, as if stiff. Only that one boy still lay on the floor.

I wound my way through the hordes of other people towards him, and crouched beside him. "Are you ok?" I asked.

He lifted his head, and looked at me with brilliantly green eyes. They held pain and suffering, and although his mouth appeared to smile, the rest of him seemed not to. I recognised him, as a friend of my brother's, but knew nothing more of him.

He was immensely thin, and I looked deep into his eyes, as his dark hair fell into one of them. Lifting my hand, I gently brushed it back, when he grabbed my wrist, and hurriedly stood up. Swaying on the spot for a second, he then moved on, pulling me along behind him. I was scared.

Very scared.


	10. A Friend is for Life

He dragged me towards an empty classroom, and when we reached it, he released my arm with such force that I went flying across the room, whilst he slammed the door behind me.

"Where did you get that wand?"

"I bought it," how dare he? This random guy, ask me where I got my stuff?

"From where?"

"A shop, you know, a place that sells things."

And, quick as a flash, he pulled out his wand, ready to curse me with it.

But, I was faster, "_virgissima,_" and a brilliant blue laser-like light shot out from the tip of my wand, hitting him in the stomach. He fell to the floor, a reaction I hadn't expected at all, as all I had done was try to give him a shock for a second. I rushed over to him once again, and pushed his black hair out of his violently green eyes. He had gone deathly white, and was sagging limply on the floor.

"Hello, hello? Can you hear me? Hello?"

He didn't move at all for what seemed to be ages, and then all of a sudden, his lips moved, "My name, is Seiji."

"Oh, um. Ok."

"I am in Slytherin."

Well, that was pretty obvious, by his uniform.

"And I've seen that wand before. I was four, and I watched him, a dark wizard, harmlessly torture people with that wand."

I knew it was bad, but surely it wasn't that bad.

"I had hoped never to see it again, it was used for so great evil, and caused so much pain. But I suppose it has returned. I only hope it is used correctly now. The old owner died, I presume?"

"Yes."

I looked at him carefully. I had seen him before, yet he still seemed new to me, unusual. There was something about him that I couldn't quite place, and it intrigued me.

"You're not English, are you?"

"Australian. Parents are English, they had to move away before I was born, but now they've come back again."

"Why did you have to move?"

He looked at me, hard, before pausing to think for a while, and then he opened his mouth to speak, shut it again, and opened it once more, before finally talking, "my parents were, and still are, Death Eaters. They had to move, for fear of being caught. Now we have moved back again, because I got into trouble. And we left my little sister behind. I miss her."

My heart went out to him, but I was curious as to what he had just said, "What sort of trouble? I don't understand?"

"I killed a random kid at my school."

"Ok then. I might be slightly scared right now." I jokily pretended to edge away, hoping he would see it as a joke, when the truth be known, I was really very curious, and I wanted to know more about him. I sat down on the floor, my legs crossed, and he told me lots about himself, and I occasionally answered his questions about me, though they were few and far between.

I eventually noticed the time, and after swearing loudly, I jumped up, "Shit! My brother and friends will be wondering where I am."

He looked up at me, "Why?"

"Because its late, and I have several very long essays to write."

"Who's your brother?"

"I thought you knew?"

"No, who is he?"

"Harry. Harry Potter."

He looked at me, now the inquisitive one, but I ignored him and turned to leave. "Goodbye, Seitchi,"

"Its Seiji. And, don't go," he flew across the room, and blockaded my exit, his robes flaring out beside him as he went, to reveal a long handled, samurai sword.

"Why the hell are you carrying a sword around?"

"For the same reason that you are carrying a cursed wand."

He left it at that, and I chose to accept it, not speaking further, other than to ask, politely, "Please let me out."

He looked like he was going to resist for a moment, and then he opened the door, and put out his arm, bowing slightly in a mocking way, "After you."

"Why thank you." I danced out of the door, only turning when I was out of his reach, "Thank you and good night, Ben."

"Ben?"

"Easier to pronounce." And I spun around once more, and flounced off in the direction of Gryffindor Common Room.

Entering the Gryffindor Common Room, Kerkera and Ginny pounced on me, and dragged me over to a chair by the fire, demanding to know where I had been. After a while, Harry, Ron and Hermione sauntered over as well. I would tell none of them anything. Instead of speaking, I pulled some parchment out of my bag, and began to scribble my name on it, before pulling out a book and translating the runes inside it in my swirly handwriting.

My friends soon lost interest in me, and wandered off, leaving me to work hard, pausing occasionally to look out of the window. I finally finished my homework, late into the evening, and tumbled up the stairs, falling up the last few to my dormitory, and collapsing, exhausted into bed, and dreams of Ben and Draco.


	11. Battling Nightmares

The next day was Halloween, and as tradition decreed, we held a large feast, not only for ourselves and our guests, but also for the announcement of those who were to be champions for the Triwizard. One wizard over the age of 17 was to be taken from each house, and they would compete in three hard and challenging tasks to become the Triwizard winner.

The aura in the room was magnificent, as we all waited eagerly for the announcement of the Triwizard competitors, and then they came. The flames emitting from the goblet of fire changed colour, and it spat out a piece of curled up parchment. Professor Dumbledore read it out in a loud and clear voice, "For Beauxbatons, Miss. Fleur Delacour."

Cheers went up for her, and a beautifully blonde and full-figured girl flounced into a room off the dining hall.

The goblet shot out another piece of parchment, "for Durmstrang, we have competing Victor Krum," a loud cheer went up in the hall, as a sultry looking Krum skulked into the room behind the French girl.

"And finally, for Hogwarts, we have Cedric Diggory," the Hufflepuff table erupted with applause, and Cedric followed the other two champions, when Dumbledore began to talk, he had nearly finished, when the flames again changed colour, and yet another piece of parchment came flying out. Dumbledore took it, and read it in silence, his expressions changing from disbelief, to shock, and then to a look of anger, and sadness.

He read it out, so quietly, that everyone strained to hear.

"Harry Potter."

At once uproar ensued, and as Harry was ushered into a room with the three older students, the teachers tried to restore the upheaval in the hall. Eventually, we were all released, and allowed to make our way to our common rooms. I was mid-way to the common room, when I changed my mind, and pirouetting around, I changed my tack, and made my way to the library, knowing that there would be no peace in the common room, but a lot in there.

I wound my way amongst the many shelves of books, and ended up in a tiny nook, curled up on a chair, with my feet tucked under me, holding a large book on ancient languages on my lap, reading about their origins and the like, when someone spoke to me, in a loud yet soft whisper.

"It's a little late to be up reading, isn't it?"

I looked up, and into a pair of brilliant green eyes, that were twinkling down on me, in amusement, "I would get no peace in my own common room, and here there is the quiet that I crave and enjoy."

"I think my common room should be quiet. Anyone who was still awake should have been ordered to bed by Malfoy by now."

"They all listen to him?"

"Yes."

"And you? Do you listen to him?"

"Never," he spat it out, before offering me his hand, "Come. Let's go."

Without questioning, I took his hand, laying the book on a table by the chair, and following him out of the library, and in the direction of the dungeons.

"Ben?"

"Mmm?"

"Where are you taking me?"

"Why, to my common room, you doof."

I said nothing, and just allowed myself to be docilely led by him, along the dark and cold passageways. We finally reached a passageway, and he spoke, although I didn't hear him, I seemed to be moving in a dream. Letting him lead me, my mind wandered in a most unusual way, and so I didn't notice him lead me through an opening in a wall, into what could only be described as the Slytherin Common Room.

Ben led me over to a chair, and sat down in it, pulling me down beside him. Before I knew what I was doing, or even what he was doing, my face was firmly attached to his, as he ran his hands through my hair, and I clung onto him. He kissed me hard at first, and then more tenderly, teasing, taunting and rewarding. And then a cold hard voice, speaking from nowhere, "What do you think you're doing?" I heard the outrage and jealousy in that voice, and then I realised where I was and what I was doing. I jumped up, shocked.

"Yes, what am I doing?"

"You were sitting here, kissing me," Ben explained.

"Where?"

He indicated the place beside him, "Here. Right here, in the Slytherin Common Room."

"WHAT! WHAT THE HELL AM I DOING IN HERE!"

"I brought you here."

I knew I would never have come willingly, and tried to think of any way he could have got me here. I gasped as I thought, and at once knew that it was true, "You confounded me!"

"Well done, we are the bright little third year," his face was lit up by a gloating smirk, and only when our companion spoke, did I realise who it was, so I whirled around to face him, as he spoke to me.

"Go to bed, Kara. You have no business here."

I bit back any angry retort I might have made, and turned, to fell from the room. As I ran out into the corridor, and the hole closed behind me, I saw Draco sit down on the sofa beside Ben, but I never heard what he said.

And then I remembered what had just happened to me, what Ben had just done to me. Jerk!

The first task of the Triwizard tournament took place in November, and the whole school buzzed with excitement, as we all made our way down to the arena where it was to be held. And then I saw what it was the four competitors had to face.

Dragons.

Brilliant fun. There were four breeds there, and it was obvious which was the worst pf the four, although I prayed my brother would not have to face it. The first three competitors, the eldest of the four, got the more docile dragons. Not the dragons really are docile, but they didn't seem as bad as the one. There was a beautiful Chinese fireball, that really intrigues me, a Swedish Short Snout, that wasn't anything special, as dragons go, and a Welsh Green.

So it appeared my wish had not been granted, and Harry ended up fighting the worst of the lot, even though he was the youngest. I couldn't bear to look, so filled with fear was I, I simply managed to shield my eyes, and hide in the robes of the person sitting behind me, Fred Weasely. I buried my face in several handfuls of his robes, whilst he stared at the top of my head, before returning his gaze to the excitement in the arena below.

Finally, the horrors ended, and the judges announced their scores. Harry had done exceptionally, and I tried my hardest to refrain from glomping and killing him, as he now had an important role in history to play.

That evening, Gryffindor celebrated in style.


	12. Wallflower no More

As the idea of Christmas loomed, so did ideas of a Christmas Yule Ball, another tradition of the Triwizard tournament. And so, Professor McGonagall saw fit to teach all the members of Gryffindor, as we were her own house, to dance. She summoned us all to a classroom, and had us all take a partner, and commence with dancing, instructing us on our posture and position. At first, their was a coldness between all, when we first began, but after a while, we all began to relax, laughing heavily as the boys whisked the girls around the small room, robes billowing in all directions.

After the practice we all collapsed into the common room, exhausted, having discovered new muscles, that few of us knew existed. I was sitting with Kerkera and Ginny in a few chairs near to the fire, and we were talking happily about the ball, and our dress robes. I was wearing a long and strapless set of robes, which was a weird coloured blue, with shade of green, and grey in it, although it still managed to be bright blue, and had a slightly metallic sheen.

Whilst the others spoke of their robes, we all began to get more and more excited, even though we weren't likely to have dates, as we could only go, if someone from an elder year asked us. Excitedly, I inquired of my two friends if they had dates.

"Yes," Kerkera answered at once.

"Who?" Ginny and I asked, eyes wide.

"I'm not going to say," she blushed, "'cause you'll only get mad."

That meant something bad, but, being the understanding friends we were, we said nothing, and left it.

"What about you, Gin?"

"Um, I think Neville might ask me."

"Wha?"

"Really?"

"Um, yes," and her freckles stood out more than ever, as the rest of her face flared, clashing with her hair.

"And you, Kara?" Kerkera turned on me.

"At the mo, I'm not going."

"WHAT!" they spoke in unison. "How can you 'not be going'?"

"No-one's asked me."

"Serious?"

"Uh-uh."

"You really don't have a partner yet?"

"No, I don't."

"Really?"

"NO, I DON'T HAVE A SODDING PARTNER YET. OK?" I stormed out of the common room, and up the stairs, towards the dorm. Throwing myself onto my bed, I wrenched the hanging surrounding it, firmly shutting them. Laying one my bed, staring at the thick stone ceiling, my mind wandered through angry streams of thought. And then I saw them, a pair of large eyes, glaring at me. So struck by fear was I, that I screamed, startling the creature whatever it was, that it fell from the ceiling, and landed on my lap.

It was an owl.

I quickly read the note, and then reread it, not believing what I had read.

_Kara,_

_This ball. Go with me._

_Seiji Furu-yama _

_(Ben)_

I was shocked, so subtle. NOT! So blunt. Would I go with him? I hand had any other offers, and wasn't really likely to. And it wasn't like I didn't fancy him or anything.

Rereading the note once more, I turned it over, and scribbled yes on the back, before tying the tiny piece of parchment to the leg f the owl, which then flew off the bed, and out of the room.

Feeling relieved, and joyous that I now had a date, let out a shout, "Can I get a whoop whoop!"

"Ur, whoop whoop!" Kerkera and Ginny entered the room.

Kerri sat on the edge of my bed, pulling the curtain aside, "Uh, Kara, you feeling ok?"

"Uh-uh."

"Cool. Well, we're um, sorry, ok?"

"Yups. Perfectly ok."

They looked at me uncertainly before preparing themselves for bed. I changed into my long nightie, and then fell asleep, into delighted dreams of flowing dress robes, loud music, and beautiful boys.


	13. Area of Triangle 12 base x height

Christmas morning dawned, clear and sparkling, and I awoke bright and early, to find a pile of presents at the bottom of my bed. Pulling the covers off, and crawling down the bed, I screamed loudly, and woke everyone else up, when my hand touched something warm and squishy under the covers that I was crawling down. It turned out to simply be the Fluff-ball. When everyone else had finished staring at me grumpily, we all began to open our presents, and the room was soon filled with piles of wrapping paper.

I held one present in my hand, not wanting to let it go, it seemed so special to me. I had just unwrapped it, and I looked down at the smiling faces in the photo, which were waving at me. It was from Remus, and was a photo taken at what must have been my parent's wedding. They all looked so happy, and I could instantly recognise some people, as I had seen Harry's photo of similar calibre. But there were one or two faces that I couldn't place, one of them being a young woman, who must have been the same age as my parents. She was standing, partially hidden, by Sirius. She was wearing a pale blue dress, and her long dark hair was intricately and beautifully tied up. She was smiling, a sad and wistful smile, and whilst the others waved, she looked up at Sirius, as if she wanted him to notice her. I would ask Harry who she was later.

I received some brilliant presents from other friends and family, and as I made my way down to breakfast, was greeted with many cries of "merry Christmas" from many different people. I noticed Seiji looking at me, when I entered the dining hall, but decided to gracefully ignore him, and I instead made my way to the Gryffindor table, helping myself to a glass of water, and a piece of fruit. I ate quickly, as my brother and the Weasely's had proposed a snowball fight, and I didn't want to be dragged into it, although I thought I might go and watch for a little while. As Kerkera and Ginny seemed to have disappeared, and spending too much time with Hermione annoyed me, I had little to do.

Grabbing my thick coat, I pulled on a very long scarf, wrapping it around me several times, and took a book, with the intention of going and sitting in the snow for a little while. I made my way outside, and had not been sitting there for very long, when I turned, and felt something hit me on the side of my head. Lifting my hand to touch my hair, I felt it was covered in a clump of snow, and turned, to see who had thrown it. Thinking it might be Seiji, I called out to him, "Ben? Is that you?"

"No," Draco came around the corner, and looked at me, a harsh look in his deep blue eyes. "Do you wish it was?"

Part of me did, but I didn't want to say this, "No. Should I?"

"I don't know. Why are you going with him?"

"To what?"

"The ball."

"Because no one else asked me," I stared at him pointedly. He knew without asking, that if he had asked me first, I would've gone with him. "Who're you going with, anyway?"

"Oh, just, someone," he spoke airily. "I don't know why, but she interested me, so I asked her."

I didn't trust him, he was being too mysterious, "Are you going to tell me who?"

"No. Anyways, why do you want to know? Jealous?"

"Pfuit. Me? Never."

"Shame," he sat beside me in the snow, and pulled his black cloak closer around him. He leant back, his hand behind him, holding him up. I looked at him, and my eyes softened.

"I would've gone with you, you know."

"Really?" he sat up, and looked at me. I couldn't tell if he was being sarcastic or not, or I he genuinely wanted to ask me something. "Then do!"

"We can't now. We've both got dates. And I genuinely like Ben."

"So you don't like me?" he lifted one hand to my face, and gently stroked my cheek, his cold fingers making me shiver. "You're cold." He pulled me closer to him, and held me in his arms. I felt helpless with him, and let him do what he wanted, even if it meant that I was fraternising with my brother's worst enemy. He wasn't too bad, after all.

He held me, with his arms clasped around my waist, so that we were face to face. And yet again, before I knew what was happening, we were kissing, and his tongue was gently pushing its way into my mouth, and I let him. He was a very good kisser, and it was soft, and gentle. And then he broke away, before looking at his watch. "Don't you need to go and get ready?"

I took his hand, and looked at the watch face. It was 11 o'clock. "how long do you think I need?" I was shocked at how vain he thought I might be. "It only takes me an hour. I don't need to change for hours yet."

"Well, I do. So I'll be seeing you later." He stood up, brushing snow off him, "Goodbye, Kara. I'll see you tonight." He walked off, and I found myself staring at his back, as he trudged through the snow.

I turned my head, and found myself looking at the snow that surrounded me. I loved the cold, and the ice. It intrigued me. I let my fingers gently play with the snow beside me, until I felt that someone else was nearby. I turned my head, to look behind, and saw no one. Turning my head once again, to its usual direction, I screamed and jumped up, at once falling backwards, and landing in a huge snow drift.

Laughing, he held a hand out to me, and helped me up, although I was grumbling in frustration and annoyance.

"Its too cold to be outside," he spoke. "Can we go in?"

"Where too?"

"My room?"

"And how will you get me in there, without being noticed?"

"No one will care."

"Hmm…"

"Come on. Please?"

Urg. Boys were so annoying. "But, I like it out here."

"Do I have to confound you, again."

"Ben, you ever fucking confound me EVER again, and I will personally see that you never have the power to confound anyone."

"Ooh, It makes good threats, but is there anything behind them?"

I lunged at him, playfully, but before I could do anything, he caught me in his arms, and wrapped his thin arms around me. Although thin, he was bloody strong, and he held me tight until I stopped struggling. When he eventually put me down, he grabbed at my hand, and dragged me back to the castle, where I was pulled rather forcefully down a staircase, and towards the Slytherin common room.

It was fairly deserted, most girls preparing for the evening, and most boys either doing the same or out in the snow. He took me into a room, which I presumed was his dorm, although it was empty, and had little stuff in it.

Taking me to one of the beds, he sat down on it, and pulled me until I was standing in front of him. I had to look down on him, and he looked up at me with brilliantly glowing eyes. My soft grey ones seemed to melt under his gaze, quite literally, ad I swooned onto his lap.

When I opened my eyes once more, I found myself lying on his bed, with the green hangings pulled around it. I heard two voices, which I instantly recognised, as one belonged to Seiji, and the other to Draco. They seemed to be having a rather heated conversation, in which many words popped up frequently, such as "she", "Kara", "me", "you" and "us". It intrigued me, and so I pretended to be asleep once more, choosing to wait until they decided to wake me. As I rolled over on the bed, they were quiet for a minute, and I lay, as still as I could be, without moving.

"I think she's waking up," I heard Draco whisper.

"I'm sorry," Seiji spoke.

"Just leave it, ok?" And I heard him stalk from the room.

Seiji walked over to the bed, and wrenched the hangings apart, gently touching me on the shoulder. I did my best to simply pretend to just be waking up, and I blinked a few times, and yawned. He let his hand linger finally on my shoulder and still kept it there, wehen I rolled onto my back, meaning that it pulled him onto the bed, on top of me. He lay there, looking deep into my eyes, once more, before kissing me, long and hard.

"You look so cute when you sleep."

"What happened?"

"You swooned," he explained with a grin. "Probably lack of food."

"Uh, ok. What time is it?"

"Time for you to go and get ready."

"Uh, ok. I'll see you tonight, then?"

"Foot of the staircase. I'll be waiting."

He kissed me one last time, before leading me back downstairs, and letting me out of the common room. Once I had left, I quickly made my way to the Gryffindor common room, and then my dorm, to begin my preparations for the evening.


	14. Masquerade

I pulled on my dress robes over my head, their brilliant colour glistening fantastically in the candlelit room. As I walked over to my bed, the flowing skirts swished around my ankles, making rustling sounds as I walked. The top, being strapless, was fitted, and clung firmly to my figure, for though I was still young, I was not lacking. I reached my hand into a bag of makeup, and pulled put some black eyeliner, which I then proceeded to put around my eyes, before adding glitter to my collar bones, and a tiny bit to my hair. I deftly applied the mascara to my already long eyelashes, and looking in the mirror, put a little bit of eye shadow on my eyelids, but only a little bit, electric blue in colour.

Sitting on the edge of my bed, I pulled on a pair of shoes. They had a slight kitten heel, and were prettily silver leather, lacing slightly up the ankles. Standing up again, I shifted the shining silvery-blue dress once more so that it gently hugged itself to me, and picking up my wand, I leant out of the window, and grabbed a handful of a mixture of snow and ice. Laying it on the floor, I tried a new spell which I had decided to try and invent whilst dieing of boredom in History of Magic. It was an idea that I had played with for a long time, being able to make jewellery out of ice. Waving my wand around the ice, in hope that it might work, I waited expectantly. And then, before my very eyes, and thanks to my own handiwork, the pile of snow and ice turned into an intricately carved tiara, necklace and large bangle. I pushed the bangle onto my wrist and attached the necklace around my neck.

Standing in front of the mirror once more, I managed to pull my unruly and messy hair into a beautifully stylish top knot, that was so wide, the tiara fitted around it perfectly, making it look magnificent as the glitter in my hair gently sparkled, along with the tiara, and the necklace, that seemed to positively twinkle.

Most of the house were making their way downstairs, to either meet their partners or to wait to enter the hall. Or both. Making my own way down the large staircase, my eyes searched the throngs of people for Seiji, although not seeing him, in the hordes of people in different coloured robes.

And then I saw him. Well, I saw his eyes, that seemed to pierce through my soul, and deep into my heart. He was wearing robes of a dark green, and they looked fantastic on him. I walked elegantly down the stairs towards him, and when I reached the bottom few steps, he somehow managed to sweep me off my feet and twist me into the ear.

I noticed the champions and their partners lining up to one side of the entrance hall, and finally the doors opened, and we were allowed to enter the great hall.

Seiji lead me over to a table, and I soon noticed that we were sitting with many of the other Slytherins, most of whom were centred around Draco. Seiji pulled out a chair for me, and then sat down next to me. I looked over at Draco, and smiled quickly, before noticing who was sitting next to him. And then nearly dying of shock.

Kerkera. And she looked so uncomfortable and nervous. And scared.

"What are you doing here?" I mouthed.

"I don't know!" she replied, still mouthing. She looked a bit upset, and I hoped that the Slytherins hadn't said anything. Well, anything mean.

We ordered our food, and it was amazing, as incredible as always, and more. And then the band, the Weird Sisters trouped on stage, amongst our shouts, and finally the party really began. Whilst the champions started the dancing, others began to join them, and finally Seiji asked me to dance, and lead me to the dance floor. My hands firmly clasped around his neck, and his around my waist, he whirled me around the dance floor, stopping for nothing.

We finally sat down once more at our deserted table, and whilst he left me to go and get drinks, I saw Kerkera fleeing towards me, although no one was following her. Tears streaming down her face, she threw herself down onto a chair, and a stream of words poured from her mouth, "We were dancing…was all going so well…and then I stood on his dress robes, by accident. I didn't mean to. And then he got all mad…and he said…he said…" she sobbed into her hands, and I laid my hand on her shoulder, comfortingly.

"What did he say, Kerri?"

She looked up at me, and her eyes flashed, as if warning me, "he said that he didn't like me at all. That he had only asked me, because you wouldn't go with him, and the only reason he chose me, is because he knew I would upset you the most."

I was shocked. She looked so mad with me. But Draco wouldn't do that, would he? Yes. He would. I was so mad. He had now basically wrecked one of my closest friendships. And for that he would never be forgiven. I was so upset. Kerkera gave me one more look, before stalking off, to find some of our other friends.

I was gradually working myself up into quite a state of anger, and eventually I could stand it no more, and I stood up, striding over to where Draco was standing, smirking as usual, with all his cronies. Seiji was still getting us drinks, and he was returning to the table just in time to see me headed for Draco.

"Why did you say that?" I demanded of Draco.

"Say what?"

"You know fucking well what."

"Oh, to her? I just told her the truth."

"You bastard." I muttered.

"What did you say?" his eyes flashed ominously.

"I said, you bastard. You cruel heartless bastard." As soon as I said it, I knew I shouldn't have, and I wished I could take the words back, but my temper had now taken over, and before I knew it, I had lifted my hand, and drawn it back, before letting it rush forward with all its power, and slap him, as hard as I could, across his face.

"Kara?" I heard the shout emit from Seiji's lips before I turned around, knowing it was him, and next thing I knew, he had rushed over, and passed the drinks to someone, and was looking at Draco, not worrying about me.

Tears streaming down my face, I turned abruptly and ran from the room, where I sprinted up the stairs, and into the Gryffindor Common Room.

How I hated myself.

The snows thawed, and gradually so did Draco's sulk, and Kerkera's prejudice, and I found myself sitting in Professor McGonagall's office, with a very important request.

"Now then, Miss Potter, I believe you wanted to ask me something?"

"Yes, Professor. I wanted to ask you something that might not be possible, and seems very farfetched."

"Well, what is it?"

"I'd like to switch houses."

"WHAT?"

"I'd like to switch houses, professor."

"Why?"

"Because I don't feel like I belong in Gryffindor."

"Come with me, Miss Potter. We will speak to the headmaster about this."

She led me to the headmaster's office, and up the moving staircase. Entering the office, she explained my request to Professor Dumbledore. Before I knew it, I was sitting on the Sorting Stool, with the Sorting Hat placed firmly upon my head.

Next thing, there was a voice in my head, "Hmmm, not happy with your house, eh? Finding it doesn't suit you? Or does the reason lie elsewhere? Oh well, never mind. You are like your brother, well suited to many houses. You have the bravery that Gryffindor requires, and the intelligence that Ravenclaw would like. But there is another side to you, which had yet to be discovered. And for this reason, I am going to put you in…" the hat brim opened wide, and so it spoke loudly into the empty room, "…Slytherin!"

The two professors looked so disappointed. They gave me instructions over what to do, and by the end of the evening, I had been moved into Slytherin, although no one knew yet, most of them being outside, enjoying the new milder weather.

When the Slytherins returned from dinner that evening, they were to get a surprise, and whilst I waited anxiously for this moment, I sat, enjoying my new room, which I had wholly to myself.


	15. Revelations

I heard them all come back from dinner, and so I made my way downstairs, and surprised Seiji by sneaking up on him. His response was to get very mad and shout at me. And then demand why I was there. And then ask why I was wearing Slytherin uniform (I had my ones still from the year before). Finally, when I had told him everything, did he calm down slightly. But only slightly.

That night, whilst Seiji sat on the sofa, talking to Draco, I sat at his feet, my head resting on his knee, whilst he gently stroked my unruly hair. I was almost purring, well, I might have been purring, it was either me or Persephone who was purring. I couldn't really tell which. And so I fell asleep, with my head on his lap, only to awake a few hours later, whilst he carried me in his arms through to my bedroom.

"Wow! You have a whole room to yourself!"

"Uhuh. Cool, eh?"

"Bitch!"

"Why, isn't it a good thing?" I made my eyes go wide, and gave him my cutest and most innocent expression.

"Yeah, yeah. Whatever. Well, g'night," he gave me a quick kiss, before leaving the room, and shutting the door behind him.

I stared at the door for a moment, waiting for something more to happen. It didn't. Changing quickly into my pyjamas, as the room was cold, I was about to remove my long gypsy skirt, as I had already removed my top, and was standing in just a bra and skirt, when I noticed a tapping on the window. Looking out, I noticed a large Barn Owl sitting on the sill, and I pulled open the window, letting in a drafty blast as I did so. Shutting the wind quickly behind the owl, I pulled the letter off its extended leg, before letting it out of the window once again. I quickly scanned the note, before rereading it, in more detail.

It was from Remus.

_Dear Kara,_

_I know I haven't written to you for a very long time, but I hope all is going well with you, and that school is all well. I am fine, well, as fine as ever I can be, and I am writing to you now to tell you about the photo I gave you for Christmas. After sending it, I realised that I hadn't explained it to you, or who the people were. (_Here followed a long list of people)_ …the girl behind Sirius…_

I gasped, I had forgotten all about her, the one I had wanted to know about. Eagerly, I read on…

…Her name is Raven. She was another of our friends, Sirius', James, Peter's, and mine. She was always quiet and shy, and we didn't really become friends until our later years at Hogwarts. I suppose a part of her had always wanted to belong, but no one had before taken the chance, or so it seemed, to get to know her. She always seemed to like Sirius, not that he noticed her much, playboy that he was, and so she seemed so sad and alone always. And then, when we left school, she got a job, and seemed happier.

_Next thing we knew, she was dead. Murdered. She was bitten, with the intention of death, but it didn't kill her. She will have been in agony, and such great pain. _

_But we all know who did the final dastardly deed, he just can't be prosecuted. The wizard, who murdered Raven Yue, was Lucius Malfoy. _

I gasped, and the letter fell from my hand, and to the floor, as did I. My long black skirt had flounced out in a circle around me, and whilst I sat on the floor, I felt my hands shaking, partly from cold, partly from shock. This couldn't be true. Not Draco's father. It couldn't. I sat there, and felt my eyes well up with tears, as I remembered back to the summer…

Sitting in the top box at the Quidditch world cup, The Malfoys had entered, and started to insult the Weaselys. But whilst the match was underway nothing was said. And then it finished, and whilst the Weaselys, Hermione and Harry left the top box, I dithered behind momentarily, to speak with Draco quickly. I had missed him over the summer.

_I walked over to him, and touched him gently on the arm. He whirled around to face me, and began to speak. Turning to his parents, he had introduced me, but not mentioned my last name. They had seemed so friendly, asking who I was, and where I had come from. And so sympathetic about my past, when I told them I was orphaned. _

_And so, when I left to rejoin my party, they had old me to feel free to visit them whenever I wanted, which I did._

Tears flowed down my face as I thought of their betrayal, but being naïve as I was, I believed and trusted Draco's father over my own godfather. And so was the way in which my heart changed, although I did feel grief over it.

Tears still streaming from my over-sized grey eyes, there was a knock on a door, and I managed to sob a response.

It was Draco.

As I ran into his arms, tears convulsed out of me. Bu I couldn't stay like this. I needed to go and find Seiji. I knew that I might feel better if I could find him. I knew that he would be somewhere. But I was wearing so little, so I used my few ounces of spirit to make a request of Draco, "Draco, please. Please, can you go and find Ben for me. Please?"

He looked at me, the green-eyed monster flashing in his eyes, before he turned and walked slowly from the room. I once again sat on the floor, and then lay down my hands covering the tears that ran from my eyes. Next thing I knew, I could feel Seiji's warm hands on my back, and I lifted my head, tuning to look at him.

"You'll get ill if you just wear your underwear, you know."

"I didn't have time to change," I sobbed. And anyways, he could talk. He was only wearing pyjama bottoms.

"Lets get you into bed." He picked me up. I wasn't that heavy, and I knew that he was strong enough to get me to the bed; it was only a few feet away. As he laid me under the covers, I made a heartfelt plea.

"Stay with me?"

"Why?"

"Because, I'm not in the mood right now, to be all alone. I feel to vulnerable as it is, and I feel that I can trust you, not too hurt me."

He smiled, a soft smile, and climbed into the bed with me, holding me in his arms. He kissed me gently on the forehead, and then harder and more passionately on the lips. And then, as tears once again fell down my face, I nuzzled deep into his bare chest, whilst his arms enveloped me still further, and he buried his face into my black mane of hair.

"Thank you," I whispered, through my tears, as I fell asleep.


	16. Confrontational Hazard

I woke up in the morning to the sound of soft snoring. Smiling slightly, I lifted my head from where it had been laying, and shifted my weight so that I was leaning on my elbow. I lay, and watched him sleeping for a while, before finally deciding to wake him. Gently, extending one of my fingers, I traced its tip along his jaw line. He shifted slightly in his sleep, and so I continued to trace my hand across his face, until, with his eyes still closed, he grabbed my wrist, kissed it, and released it. "Leave me alone."

I giggled, "Its time to get up," I cooed softly into his ear, before pulling the covers off both of us, and jumping off the bed. I was still in just a bra, and so I quickly reached over and pulled a jumper on over the top, keeping the same skirt on. By this time Seiji had fallen out of bed, and left to go and find some clothes from his dorm. I made my way to the common room, and sat on one of the sofas whilst I waited for him and Draco to come down.

Finally they did, although god knows why it had taken so long for them to get ready. Together, we made our way to the dining hall, for breakfast. We walked into the hall at the same time as my brother and his friends, and whilst Draco and Seiji went to get seats, they stopped me to talk to me.

"Urh, Kara, why are you with them?" asked Harry.

Oops, had not foreseen this problem, "Um, because they're my friends."

"Hang on, THEY'RE your friends?" Ron, not quite all there.

"Umm, yes. I just said that."

"Since when?"

"It doesn't matter." I began to make my way over to their table.

"Kara," Hermione spoke, "The Gryffindor table is this way."

"I know. But I'm not in Gryffindor any more."

"WHAT?" they spoke in unison.

"Why not?" demanded Harry.

"I swapped, last night. To Slytherin."

"What?"

"Why?"

"NO!"

They all expressed similar noises of distaste, and I simply gave them a sad smile, "because I wanted to, I needed to. And now I'm happier."

Harry came up to me, and put his enraged face close to mine, although I shied away slightly, "You stupid, stupid girl."

I was so scared, and didn't know what to do. Why was he being so mean? He was scaring me, couldn't he see this.

I was saved, at that moment, by Seiji appearing at my side. My knight in shining armour. He looked at Harry angrily. "Back Off," he hissed, in parseltongue.

That shocked Harry, who had thought that he was the only lucky one, who could speak such a language. Nervously, he, Ron, and Hermione backed away, and hurried to the Gryffindor table. Seiji took my arm, and firmly led me to the Slytherin Table, where I sat next to him, and he next to Draco. I genteelly sipped on a glass of water, and nibbled on a dry piece of toast, before getting up, to return to the common room.

Before I could go anywhere, Seiji had yet again grabbed my wrist, and this time he pulled me back down onto the bench, "Don't go yet."

"Ummmm…why not?"

"'Cause I said so."

"I don't care." I tried standing up again.

"Ooh, feisty today, are we? Eat some more, you're almost anorexic."

"And you're not?"

He simply raised his eyebrows.

"It's fine. I'm not hungry, and when I'm not hungry, I don't eat."

"So, that means you're never hungry, 'cause you never eat."

"Just leave her, Seiji," Draco chipped in. "Let her be."

I shivered.

"Are you ok?" Draco looked at me, concern on his face.

"Yeah, I think I'm getting a cold. I feel a bit faint."

"THEN FUCKING EAT SOMETHING!" Seiji demanded.

I glared at him, and once again stood up, and left the room. Hurrying across the entrance hall, I made my way into the dungeons, and then to the common room. Once inside, I paused for breath, and to think. Whilst standing, I felt myself sway on the spot ominously, and next thing I knew, everything was black.

I woke up to find myself in a room, surrounded by men in white coats. Doctors. I knew that I had to be in hospital, it was too busy to be the hospital wing. Apparently, I had some really weird illness, that made me not want to eat, and not drink enough, and be tired and emotional, and faint a lot. I'd thought it was always me being strange. I spent nearly a month in hospital.

It was almost February when I returned to Hogwarts once more.


	17. Say that you Love me

I sat in the common room, waiting for everyone else to return from their afternoon lessons, before the evening meal. I was so looking for ward to seeing Seiji, and Draco, once again. Whilst I'd been away, not much had happened, not even the second task, which was due sometime in February, which was to begin in less than a week's time.

As I sat, I was sketching the ever-changing flames of the fire, with an orange pencil, and a red pencil, my whole sketchbook was nearly filled with pictures of fires, and other such things, like clouds, which I had spent hours doing in the time when I had been in hospital. The school had been sending me the work, so I had managed to keep on top of the written side of things, yet not the practical.

I could hear the first few people leaving dinner, and as I started to think about Seiji coming, my heart started to beat faster, and I felt my pulse pounding in my head. My stomach fluttered with butterflies, and my hands started to shake. I was just managing to control the shaking, when the first people returned from supper, and as the common room slowly began to fill, my heart began to beat louder, as I knew he would be coming soon. Eventually I could take it no more, and fled to my room.

I was standing by the window; leaning out and looking at the blanket of darkness, with its pinprick stars, when the door opened. I swivelled around, so that I was then leaning back against the windowsill, and turning to face the new entrant into the room. I smiled at once when I saw who it was, and a same look of delight lit up his face, as we ran towards each other. I stopped myself just in time, as did he, and we stood, looking at each other with a bashful feeling in our eyes.

Eventually, he spoke, "I missed you, y'know."

"You did?"

"Well, sorta."

"Tch. That's nice."

"Well, since when was I fucking nice?"

"Good point."

"Hey!" he hooked out his arm, and pulled me towards him, planting a firm kiss on my face, before holding me back again. "I did miss your cuteness."

"Are you saying I'm cute, Ben?"

"Yeah. You're a crap kisser, but you're cute."

"I'm a crap kisser! Well then, you'll just have to teach me how to kiss un-craply, won' you?" my eyes glinted mischievously, as he once again pulled me towards him, and smothered me with a deep kiss.

After a while, when he had finally run out of air, he left, and I carefully climbed into bed, and soon fell fast asleep, although not for long, as morning seemed to dawn all too fast.

The next morning, at breakfast, the post owls arrived, as usual, and Draco was delivered his copy of the Daily Prophet. He read the headline on the front page, and nearly sprayed all his companions with manky cornflakes, when he choked violently. After Seiji had clapped him on the back, maybe a little too violently, he managed to calm down, and passed the newspaper to me.

I read the headline, and the article, really quickly, and nearly erupted with anger at the end of it. And then I noticed the journalist. Rita Skeeter. I might have known. She had written poisoned words about my brother many a time, and I hadn't minded; it had actually been quite funny. But this time she had gone too far. She had written all about me. And Seiji.


	18. They're not Gonna Get Us

"The bitch!" I exclaimed, fuming, as I read through the article once again. It was filled with lies about me, and then even more about how I was 'a wild child' and I 'went against the grain' by being in Slytherin. And then my 'fraternisation' with my brother's 'nemesis'. It was rubbish. But what she had written about Seiji was worse, much worse.

'_Seiji Furu-yama, who has now been in England for almost two years, was forced to move here after committing a murder most foul. Exiled from his native Australia, he lives now with family friends and at Hogwarts School. But is he safe? More on page 3.'_

I quickly flicked to page three, only to find more shit about Seiji, and myself and how we were apparently an active couple, who liked to flaunt it. I could kill her. I really might fucking kill her.

Seiji and Draco must have noticed my anger, for they held a quick whispered conversation amongst themselves, and then whilst one of them whisked the paper from under my nose, the other told me to run along, as I had lessons to attend to. I looked at them both acidicly, and flounced out of the room, to collect my books.

As February passed, so did the second task, which involved everyone looking into a murky lake for an hour. Highly unamusing. When it finished, I slumped into a chair in the common room, and let my head rest back, closing my eyes as I did so.

"What's this, asleep again?" Seiji came up behind me.

"I'm not asleep, I'm just resting my eyes."

"Well, go rest your eyes in your room, there isn't enough seats, and your using one up for no reason. Go on, shift it."

I opened one eye, and its blue flecks glinted up at him, "Make me."

"Right then, you asked for it." He scooped me up into his arms, and when I jumped up, squealing he chased me for a while, much to the distaste of the sixth and seventh years, who began to swear at us. Seiji paused for breath, and glared back at them, "Oh, just fuck off yourselves."

I giggled uncontrollably, which branded me incapacitated, and so he came towards me, before enveloping me in his strong arms, and heaving me around for a little bit. After a while his grip got too much, and as his hands were on my chest, I playfully leant forward, and bit him. Very gently. For some reason, he yelped in pain, and let go of me, before swearing very loudly.

"Fucking bitch. Now you're definitely in for it." He once again took up the chase, but before he could, I put a shield charm around me, which he bounded off, and so gave me the time to run into my room, slamming and locking the door.

Little did I know that after he had bounded off me, he had got sick of the chase and wandered off. Maybe I had gone a little too far. After sitting in my room for a while, I decided to draw a bit more, and so I pulled out my sketch pad, which I had kept hidden under my mattress, and hunting, and then finding, the stub of a pencil, I began to draw.

Not knowing what I was drawing, the lines on the page soon began to take shape, and before I knew it, set out on the page before me was Draco, his intense eyes staring at me. I frowned at it, thinking that something was wrong with it, although I could see nothing.

"That's nice," someone said.

I looked up, and saw Draco standing there, his eyes identical to how I had drawn them. Screaming, I jumped up in the chair, which fell over backwards, as did I with it, hitting my head in the process, with the chair landing on top of me. It hurt.

"Shit, Kara. You ok?"

"Um, no!" I detangled myself, and somehow managed to stand up once again, "that fucking hurt."

Next thing I knew, Seiji was in the room, "what the fuck was that noise?"

"Me, falling off the chair."

I looked at the mess of chair on the floor, and also noticed that might sketchbook had broken, and its pages were scattered everywhere, with all my drawing of fire and clouds, Seiji, and Draco, scattered everywhere around the room. I gasped, and fell to my knees picking them all up. The boys took one look at me, and then at my drawing all over the floor. Taking a moment to figure it all out, they then bent down and helped me to gather them up, occasionally pausing if they saw one of themselves.

Seiji was soon next to me, "You never told me that you drew."

"I didn't?" I thought I had.

"No. It would have been nice to know."

"I'm sorry. I should've thought."

He rubbed his chin momentarily. "I really know nothing about you, do I?"

"No."

"Does he?" he indicated Draco.

"No."

"Good."

"What?"

"Good. I'm glad that he doesn't know you better than me."

Together, the three of us managed to pick up all the sheets, and return them to the book, which Draco then fixed for me. Happy once more, the two guys took one of my hand's each, one on either side, and lead me out into the common room. Yet again, I found myself in the position in which they sat next to each other on the sofa, whilst I sat on the floor at their feet. Resting my head on Seiji's knee, I absent-mindedly found myself stroking his foot.

"Kara, you might be trying to be cute, or whatever, but stroking my foot is REALLY starting to piss me off now."

I stopped, and gazed up at him. "I'm sorry." My long eyelashes seemed to cloud my view suddenly, and I felt very tired. I yawned, delicately, and went back to resting my head on his knee. Persephone came and crawled onto my lap, and so I stroked her, whilst starting to fall asleep.

Eventually, I think Draco realised I was nearly asleep, and so he half-carried, half-dragged me to my bedroom, and laid me on the bed. He went to leave, and was halfway out the door, when he hesitated, and entered, shutting it behind him. Coming over to the bed, where I was lying, falling asleep, he leant over me, and kissed me, at first gently, and then more harder, and then lightly once again. When he stopped, I had my eyes closed, as I had the whole time.

"I love you," the words escaped his lips before he knew it.

I was very befuddled, and a slight smile came to my face, "I love you too, Ben."

Oops. My bad.


	19. Crying on the Outside

I was there, in this dream. That was me, I was sure of it. But I looked older. So maybe it wasn't me. But there was a werewolf, surely that was Remus. But it looked even worse than Remus. And I knew that he would never become a werewolf in front of me. So in this dream, if it wasn't me, who was it? Then, all of a sudden, right before my eyes, the werewolf attacked. Blood was everywhere, and before I knew it, I was awake, and screaming, crying out for help. I felt ill, and, being in no fit state to walk, I leant over the side of the bed, and was violently sick. Still feeling ill, I lay still for a while, before going to have a shower.

It was one in the morning, on a Sunday, and as I showered, and thoroughly cleansed myself, images kept flashing back to me, scaring me shitless. Eventually, I had showered, and so I changed into some clean pyjamas, short ones, made of black silk. I went back into my room, but the moment I did, everything began to spin again. I knew I would get no sleep in there tonight.

The rooms around me still spinning slightly, I made my way to the boys' dorms, and went into the room were Seiji and Draco slept. Opening the door I quietly crept in. It was pitch dark, and I felt very disorientated, with the world spinning around me. I could barely see, and so crept over to the bed in which Seiji was lying. Gently pulling back its covers, I slid into it, and he wrapped his arms around me, and I snuggled deep into them, closing my eyes and falling into a deep, and more restful, sleep.

When I woke up in the morning, it was not of my own accord, but on the account of someone consistently and sharply poking me.

"You had better go before everyone else wakes up."

I opened my eyes, expecting to see brilliant blue ones in front of mine, but one I instead saw green ones, I looked around, expecting the worst. Seeing myself lying in bed next to Draco, his arms tightly wrapped around me, I screamed, and jumped from the bed, landing adeptly on my feet.

Seiji looked so mad, and I felt so confused. What the hell had happened? I reached out to him, but he stood out of reach, a stern and harsh expression on his face. My eyes welled up with tears. He looked so cold. I spoke his name, softly, as the tears began to flow, "Ben?"

"What?" his voice was harsh to my ears, and seemed full of hatred.

"I thought it was you." The tears began to flow even faster, and I felt sick once more, realising that I had not only hurt Seiji, but probably now Draco as well.

They looked at each other, and began to argue, as I crumpled to the floor, the tears still flowing. Eventually I had enough, and I stood up.

"Stop it! Both of you. Please stop it. I'm not worth it. It was all a mistake."

Draco looked more upset than ever, and I knew I had by now probably lost him forever. I hated myself for it. And felt even worse than ever.

"I didn't mean that," I breathed, now trying to reach for him. He backed away, looking at me, anger burning thickly in his eyes.

"I know exactly what you fucking meant. Get the fuck out of here. You heard me. Fuck Off!"

I sprinted from the room, almost falling down the stairs, when in fact I only fell down the last few, causing huge bruises to form on my legs. I hurried into my own room, and pulled on some uniform, before checking that I didn't look too bad. I had streaks all over my face, and I couldn't stop sniffling, and crying a little bit. I made my way to breakfast, and sat with some people in my own year, although I barely knew them, and I wasn't planning to eat anything. I just sat there, and felt very sorry for myself, with the tears still silently sliding down my face.

I wished it had all never happened, wished that Seiji, and Draco, were next to me again. I felt safe when I was with them. I felt safe when I wasn't alone. I looked up when I saw some movement, and saw Seiji leaving the hall, so I stood up, and hurried after him.

"Are you still mad?" I asked, as I took a hold on his thin wrist.

He spun around to face me, "Yes." But his eyes looked softer than they had.

At that moment I felt a hand on my shoulder, and I jumped, as I slowly turned round. It was my brother.

"Kara, I need to talk to you," he growled. I motioned for him to continue, and so he did, "I'm so disappointed in you. In fact everyone is. And I don't know what I hate more. Knowing that you left Gryffindor to be with scum like this," he indicated Seiji, who looked quite mad, "or the fact that you would even think about being friends with a murderer."

Seiji looked so angry, but I only felt sad, and the tears that were still bubbling under the surface once again rose, and rolled down my strong cheekbones.

"You're a traitor, Kara. You're a traitor, to me, to my friends. To our parents. To their memory. You should see how disappointed Sirius and Remus are. They've told me things, about him. About his family. Things that would make you never want to see him again. I really do wish that I knew nothing about you. I wished I never knew you existed. Then it wouldn't be so bad. Then I wouldn't have a traitorous bitch for a sister."

I was crying even more. Why couldn't they all just leave me alone. Seiji intervened, "Have I done anything to offend you, in any way?" Seiji's voice was dangerously quiet.

Harry looked nervous, although hatred still burned in his eyes. He pushed me behind him, out of the way, but I moved to stand behind Seiji, and Draco, who had come to see what was going on. Draco came up beside me, and laid his hand on my shoulder. Ron glared at us, "Get your hands off her," he roared.

Draco, just to be even more conniving, took my hand in his, Harry noticed this too, and immediately, he and Seiji began to fight, furiously. Seiji was obviously the stronger of the two, and it was him whom I felt more for, and so I tried to egg him on, though silently.

They paused momentarily, Harry much the worst off, and as Seiji spoke, he licked away the blood from a small cut on his fingers. Yet again, Harry attacked, and so the fighting went on, until teachers came, and broke the two of them apart. I didn't know who to go to, the brother, who hated me, and wished that I didn't exist, or Seiji, the person who had just fought for me, and got hurt for me.

I ran to Seiji's side, the tears still streaming down my face, although I was relieved that they had stopped fighting.

"Why the fuck are you crying, Kara?"

"Please, please. Don't fight again." I threw my arms around him, as he smiled. Not a kind smile, one that scared, me, so that as I buried my face in his robes, I was glad I couldn't see it.

The next day, I woke up in the morning, changed as usual, and then spent an hour hunting for my wand. Eventually, I got Draco to help me too, although he was still being a little cold with me. We couldn't find the wand at all, or could we find Draco.

So I spent the day wandless, and then again the next day, although Seiji was back in the evening, yet he refused to tell us where he had been. I had missed him, even though it had only been two days, and so I threw my arms around him, and hugged him hard, not letting go.

The months flew by, and soon came May, the Paegan festival of Beltaine, and my birthday. I awoke early, and soon bounded into the boys dorm, ignoring the other two guys in there, and jumping on Seiji's bed, waking him up, and also making him very annoyed with me. Eventually, he grabbed me, and held me close to him, too tight for me to struggle, but not tight enough to hurt. My head was still free, and so I kissed him hard on the mouth, which managed to wake him up a bit.

Finally, when he had stopped being extremely groggy, did he wake up enough to wish me a happy birthday, and by this time Draco had also got up, and given me a hug to wish me a happy birthday.

Draco presented me with a box, and I unwrapped it, and found it to be a bottle of very expensive perfume. It smelt amazing, and I hugged him to say thank you. And then Seiji handed me my present. It wasn't wrapped, but it was amazing. It was another little ball of fluff.

"Does it have a name?" I whispered.

"Not yet."

"so I can name it?"

"Yes. BUT NOT Fluff Ball II."

"Damn. Fine then. Male or female?"

"Female."

"Then her name is Euridice."

"You're strange."

"You're lovely." I leant over and kissed him, "I love you."

"Tch."


	20. I'd Do Anything for Love

The day was a glorious one, and spent in fantastic company, as I spent most of it with Seiji and Draco, out in the sun, in the school grounds. We were having a great fun. In the afternoon, we were sitting sunbathing, when I heard a voice.

"Seiji Furu-yama?" It was Professor Dumbledore.

Seiji sat up, and shielded his eyes from the sun, "Yes, sir."

"Come with me please."

Seiji got up, and joined the elderly teacher, before turning to us, "See ya later, guys."

"Bye," we both said goodbye as well.

And together they walked back to the castle, whilst Draco and I sat and looked at the space just vacated by Seiji.

"What the fuck was that all about?" asked Draco.

"Nooo idea."

"Have to ask him later."

"Yup."

Draco moved closer towards me, and I leant into him, resting my head on his shoulder, and looking at the effect of sunlight on the lake.

When we returned to the common room later, it was buzzing with gossip, and the like, most of it about Seiji, as per usual. I listened half-heartedly, thinking that he would be back soon, but then I heard something that interested me, and I listened more carefully.

"…I heard that a load of Aurors came to school today, to take him away with them."

"Really?"

"Yeah, they're taking him to a trial, apparently."

"Woah! What the hell for?"

"Well, according to my aunt, who lives in Australia, he turned up at his parents house, months ago, killed loads of people, then came back here again. They've been tracking him ever since. Now, he's definitely going to Azkaban. I wonder that the school is safe anymore…"

Horror registered on my face, at what the boy had been telling his friends, and I jumped from the chair in which I had been sitting, and ran from the room, Draco close behind me.

"Kara, wait!"

I spun around, "Draco, you heard them too. But he can't of. He wouldn't of, would he?"

"I don't know!" he sounded exasperated, "but if he's done it before, he might've done it again."

"Well, I don't care. I'm not just going to leave him. Not without saying goodbye. He cant' have left yet." I swirled around once again, and set off once more at a run, in the direction of Dumbledore's office.

Standing at the statue at the bottom of the entrance, were four wizards, and I walked boldly towards them.

They were big, much taller and stronger than me.

"What do you want?" one of them asked.

"To see Seiji Furu-yama."

"He is indispensable at the moment, I am afraid."

I pulled out my wand, little knowing what I was doing, and my voice deepened in my anger, "Please, I won't ask nicely again. Let me see him."

I heard Draco calling me behind, "Kara, stop it. It's useless. Just leave it." He came and grabbed my arm, and tried to pull me backwards, but I shook him off.

"You'd better listen to your friend," another of the wizards spoke, larger than the first, and a lot more ferocious looking; he too had drawn his wand.

Without me saying, or thinking anyone, my wand itself sent out a flash of light, as if it were calling for someone. It did not harm the wizard, only shocked them, and all at once, they turned their own wands on me, all yelling in synchronisation, "_STUPEFY!"_

The four stunning rays hit me, causing me to fly into the air, and fly backwards, hitting a thick stone wall with a large amount of force, and slide to the ground, unconscious and not breathing.

Draco rushed over to her, and crouched by her side, pulling the hair away from her face.

"Kara? Kara? Can you hear me? Kara?"

Eventually, the other four wizards came over, and soon Professor Snape arrived as well, and took one look at the situation, before getting two of the aurors to carry her to the hospital wing.

She lay in the hospital wing for a while, until she could be taken to St. Mungo's, where they could treat her properly.

She still wasn't breathing, and already, huge swellings were coming up on the back of her head, and down her back.

I opened my eyes, and instantly heard voices speaking, "She's awake. She's awake." As everything came into more focus, I saw people standing around my bed, in the form of Remus, and Mrs Weasely, all people who I thought hated me. They all had worried expressions on their faces, and as I blinked a few more times, I noticed more people behind them.

"Hey," I said weakly.

At once they all broke into smiles.

"Why aren't you at school?" I asked no one in particular, but Remus answered.

"It's the summer holidays."

"WHAT!"

"Urh, it's the summer holidays."

"You've been out of it for a long time, Kara. The stunning rays must have really got you bad." Remus explained.

And then it all came back to me. "Where's Ben? And Draco?" I tried to sit up, but Remus pushed me back into the pillows once again, and explained still further.

"Seiji Furu-yama? Him? He's now in Azkaban. He's a murderer, Kara."

"I still love him."

He looked angry, suddenly, "Don't ever let me here you say that ever again."

My grey eyes flashed violently. "And Draco?"

"I don't know. I presume he's gone home for the summer. Its good that you've got away from him too."

I sighed. Harry had been right. Everything he had said, that time, had been right. But it didn't stop me loving them both.

"I'm tired." I spoke quietly. I just wanted them to go away.

"We'll leave you to get some sleep then, dear," Mrs Weasely said kindly, and bustled them all away.

When they had gone, I rolled over, and did not sleep, but curled up into a tight ball, and thought about Seiji, and how he must be feeling.

And the tears slid down my cheeks.


	21. Fading Realities

They took me to a filthy house, in the middle of a muggle estate. Entering the house, I at once cringed, and tensed, only relaxing when I was left alone, in my own room, at the top of the house.

The house belonged to Sirius Black, the old Black house, and was disguised to Muggles around it. Sirius seemed glad to have the house full of people, as the whole Weasely clan were staying, bar Percy, Bill and Charlie, the three eldest. Hermione was there too, but not Harry yet, meaning that I hadn't seen or spoken to him since the fight.

Sitting in my room, I sat dejectedly on the bed, staring into space, with only one thought in my head. Seiji. I missed him, missed him so much, that I ached with every fibre of my solitary being. I just wanted to see him, and I felt like my heart was being ripped out, and brutally stamped upon everytime I remembered Remus' words, and the look of anger on his face.

People would try to come and "talk me out of it"; Sirius and Remus would come most frequently. It would always go the same. I would be sitting on the bed, Sirius would stand near the door, easy escape route, and lean on the wall, with one hand resting on the doorframe. Remus would stand in front of me, and give me that look, the one he used to use when I was little. It was the one that said, 'you know you're wrong, and I know you know you're wrong, so why don't you stop being wrong, and start to be right'. The last time they had come to talk to me, they had taken a different track.

Remus had started, and spoke with kindness in his voice, "His parents were bad people, so he did us a favour by killing them. But he shouldn't have done it, Kara. You know that."

I just sat there, staring past him, or through him, my eyes burning through everything.

"Is he really worth it?"

My eyes flicked up to look into those of my godfather, "Yes." And they flickered away again.

Sirius spoke up, "Look, I'm going to be serious with you. Forget him. He's gone now; he'll probably be as good as dead when he comes out. He's done bad, and although you say you loved him, you've done nothing, or very little wrong. The best thing you can do is talk to Harry again; tell him you've forgotten it all. Come and spend time with everyone."

The blue in my eyes flashed furiously, as I stood up, "I will never, ever forget him. As long as I am alive, and safe, I will believe in him. How dare you tell me what to do. How dare you, what right do you have," I raised my hand to grab my wand from my pocket, but before I could, my knees sagged, and I fell back onto the bed, from lack of food, lack of use, and sheer exhaustion.

Remus helped me to my feet once again, despite my hostilities towards him, and I burst into tears, throwing my arms around him.

"I love him, I really do love him. I don't are what he did."

"I know, I know, shh, its ok." Remus comforted me.

"I'm sorry, for being so awful. I'm sorry that I'm such a bad goddaughter. I'm sorry for everything." My tears and feeling were genuine. I was truly repenting for how I had acted. I regretted how I had treated those who had been my friends, although I did not regret my friendship with Draco, or Seiji.

Sirius walked over as well, and laid his hand on my shoulder, "Come downstairs, there are some friends who want to see you, and I'm sure Molly has some wonderfully magical food that she can give you."

I tried to smile; only what came out was thin and watery, although still a smile. Sirius and Remus beamed back at me, "That's more like it, Come on."

Together, the three of us went downstairs, quietly. So as not to wake up an evil old picture pf Mrs Black, Sirius' mother. Eventually, we reached the kitchen, the only clean part of the house, in which Mrs Weasely was bending over an old AGA, upon which a large pot was happily boiling, Fred and George were deep in conversation in one corner, whilst Hermione, Ginny, and Ron were close to Mrs Weasely, with the two girls helping Mrs Weasely to lay the table, and Ron generally getting in the way.

When we walked in, everyone went quiet, and looked up, staring at us. Remus and Sirius walked over to the table, and whilst Remus offered to help Mrs Weasely, Sirius flopped into a chair. Eventually, Mrs Weasely came over to me, and enveloped me in a stiff hug, "Its good to see you, dear."

I smiled again, weakly, rooted to the spot. Ginny stood up, and I thought she was going to shout at me, so I was shocked when she instead through her arms around me. "I missed you, friend."

I let my arms surround her as well, and hugged her back, "I missed you too." Tears sprung to my eyes. This was not the reception I had expected. Hermione stood up and grasped my hand, whilst Ron spoke gruffly, and then George clapped me on the shoulder. It was only Fred who hung back, and when everyone else had gone back to doing something else, with Ron and Hermione having disappeared upstairs, and George soon following them, Ginny was again helping Mrs Weasely, who was deep in conversation with Remus and Sirius, he came over to me, and took my hands in his. Checking to see that the adults weren't looking he whispered in my ear, "Hold on tight."

I gave him a questioning look, and did as he said, as the blood rushed to my head, and I felt violently ill, before I looked around and found myself in my bedroom, with a tight grip on Fred's arm.

"How was that for your first time then?" he asked me.

I glared at him, feeling dizzy, "Never do that again, without warning me."

He smiled. "So, what's been up with you?"

"You know fucking well what's been up with me." I sat on the bed, and he sat down beside me, his hand right beside mine on the bed.

He smiled again, "Is it all sorted now?"

"It'll never be sorted."

"I suppose not. But can it be temporarily forgotten. Like, over the holidays?"

I looked at him, and he had an honest look on his face. I looked harder at him, trying to understand what he was getting at, and as I was doing this, his had brushed over mine, while the other one brushed along my cheekbone.

"You remember what I said, in your first term at Hogwarts?"

I nodded.

"Well, the offer still stands." He leant in towards me, and as his lips grazed mine, I closed my eyes.

He gave me one swift kiss, and when I opened my eyes again, he was standing, looking down on me.

"I'm gonna see what George is doing. I'll see you at supper." And he disapparated, making me jump.

I was so confused.


	22. Familial Reconciliations

My name was being called from a floor below me, although not very loudly. I quietly made my way down the stairs, to find Ginny calling me.

"Hey, Kara, there you are."

"Uhuh. What is it?"

"Harry's here."

I went white, and began to shake, quickly sitting down on the stairs. I could see Fred and George a floor below us, with weird string like things coming from their ears. I sat for a minute, trying to clear my head, and think.

"Kara, are you ok?"

I looked up, and tried to smile, "Yeah, yeah. I'm ok."

"Well, shall we go and see him then."

"Ok, sure," I conceded.

We walked into the room that Harry was sharing with Ron, and Harry at first only saw Ginny, and then saw me. He greeted Ginny warmly, and then turned to me, his eyes seeming cold, and his mouth set in a hard line. "Hi."

"Hey."

"How are you?"

"I'm ok thank you. And you?"

"I'm ok." He seemed so distant.

"It's…It's nice to see you." I tried to break the ice.

"Yes, and you." He was lying. He had to be, after the last thing he had said to me, he must be.

"Did you have a good holiday, so far?"

"Tch. With the Dursleys? Unlikely." He smiled. Maybe he wasn't going to be so bad.

Mrs Weasely came to call us down for supper, and as the others went down, Harry pulled me back a minute, but only momentarily.

"Look, I'm sorry about what I said, it was way out of order. And I didn't mean it. Any of it. Well, maybe some of it. But not most of it. Look, I'm just sorry ok? Friends?" He held out his hand for me to take.

I took it, "Yeah. Friends."

And holding my hand, he pulled me into a brotherly hug, before leading me downstairs, and to the first true meal I had eaten all summer, in good company.

I sat next to Fred, around the large table in the kitchen, with the warmth of the fire protecting us from the chill of the evening. Whilst everyone around the table laughed, I smiled, and laughed only occasionally. When we had all finished eating, and all the plates were cleared, people began to settle into conversations, and I soon found my cat and kitten, close to the AGA, and pulled them onto my lap, absent-mindedly stroking them whilst listening to the conversation in which Fred was involved.

Next thing I knew, people were staring at me, and I looked up, a bewildered expression on my face. It turned out that Tonks, a young witch, had just asked me a question. She repeated it for me, "Hey, Kara, remember that time, when you were eight, and Remus asked me to baby-sit you for him?"

"Yeah, how could I forget," I smiled at her. She had bubblegum pink hair, that looked fantastically outrageous.

"What happened?" Fred asked, hen his hand had magically found mine, under a bundle of cats.

Tonks began to explain, "Well, Remus had to go out to see someone, and I was the only person he could think of to baby-sit, so he asked me, and I said, 'yeah, sure. Why not?' So here's me, turning up at Remus' house, to look after this eight year old girl, who was constantly hyperactivem which is also fine."

"Was I that hyperactive?"

Remus and Tonks answered in sync, "YES!"

"Oops."

Tonks laughed, and then continued, "So, this little girl is bored, and asks me to show her stuff, which I'm doing, like, showing her little charms, in which I broke loads of things, by complete accident, of course." Everyone laughed. "And then I started to do a little bit of transfiguration, which made Kara laugh so much. I remember turning the foot stool into a little dog, and all the cups into mice. But then they got stuck, and I couldn't undo it, so we had this little dog running around, and all these little mice everywhere."

"I remember standing on the chair and squealing, 'cause the mice were scaring me." I added.

"So, we ended up ignoring all these animals, and went to make some food. I did it the muggle way, so as not to have any accidents. Only I did. I was only doing something simple, baked beans on toast."

"But that was the first mistake, as I don't like baked beans. They used to make me even more hyper, and then I would always be sick."

"But I, of course, didn't know that. So I was cooking the baked beans on the hob, but I left them boiling, and they exploded EVERYWHERE, and made this huge mess."

"It was awful, and took so long to remove, even with magic," Remus joined in.

"And then the toast burnt as well, and set itself on fire, which I tried to extinguish and only ended up igniting more."

"I was lucky to still have a house by the time I got home."

"So, what happened in the end?" asked Hermione.

I answered her, "It was me that ended up doing the baby-sitting. I had to look after Tonks, as she had burnt her hands. I ended up cooking us both some noodles, and making us cups of tea, until Remus got home, and found Tonks fast asleep on the couch, covered in a blanket, and me cleaning the kitchen."

"She looked so ridiculous, this eight year old child, wearing this massive apron, and big rubber gloves. She was scrubbing so hard, and only making it worse," Remus concluded.

"I was so embarrassed when Remus woke me up," Tonks blushed. "I felt so bad, at having let Kara stay up so late."

"You were brilliant," I told her. "I had never had so much fun, when Remus had gone out before."

She blushed once more, and soon after that Molly sent us all to bed, which I was glad to do.

As we all traipsed up the stairs, Ginny and Hermione, and Harry and Ron said goodnight, as they disappeared into their rooms. Next George said goodnight, and left Fred and I on the landing.

"Well, night then," I said, about to continue up the stairs.

"Wait, not so fast." He grabbed my hand. And pulled me back towards him. Holding my face to his, he kissed me passionately, before letting go. "G'night." He walked into his room, and I continued to my room, falling to the bed, glad to feel loved.


	23. Lost

Someone was in the room with me, breathing, close to my face. I opened my eyes slowly, and held back the scream that was on the very tip of my tongue, to see a pair of eyes looking into mine. I hit out at him, and he fell off the bed.

"Oof," he groaned as he landed on the floor with a resounding crash. "Well, that's a pleasant way to greet me in the morning, isn't it?"

"Not really," I answered, "but I don't like being woken up, in ways such as that."

He stood up once more, and sat on the bed, beside where I was lying.

"I'm sorry," and before I knew it, he leaned into kiss me, as I fended him off, my eyebrows raised high, looking extremely scary as a mixture with my statically energised hair, that was sticking up in several million directions.

"What do you want, Fred?"

"I want you," I slapped him playfully on the arm, as he grinned cheekily, "No, sorry, OUCH! That hurt. Mum told me to come and bring you some breakfast, as we've already eaten, and also asked me to give you this."

He handed me an envelope, and then tried to kiss me, as I pushed him away, intrigued at whom the letter was from.

"Fine then," he snapped, and went to stand by the window, and look onto the street far below, whilst I read the letter.

I did not recognise the writing on the envelope, and so tore it open, immediately recognising the handwriting on the inside. It was from Seiji. I looked at Fred, "Where did you get this?"

"Mum gave it to me. I think she said Dumbledore had asked her to pass it onto you."

"WHAT?"

"What is it?"

"Umm…nothing. Don't worry 'bout it."

He turned back to the window, whilst I proceeded to read:

Dear Kara

I know that you will be upset when you hear about what is going to happen to me, but know that it is me who is more broken and more alive from this moment.

Forget about me for the time being. You have your life, full as I know it already is and I have nothing from this moment on but memories that I will play over and over in my mind. Please carry on with you life and forget about mine.

You know I have never been good at writing long soppy letters and I don't have very much time until they take me away but I promise you two things. One is that I will see you again, maybe in years to come and the other is that I will never stop loving you.

Love Seiji Furu-Yama (Your Ben)

PS. umm... tell Draco that I'll miss him to the next time you see him, please!

PPS. You should tell Draco that I love him too, but of course he is more of a friend...

PPPS. I'm digging my own grave now aren't I..?

PPPPS. Hmm that's a lot of Ps but anyway, I love you

I finished reading it, and a sob escaped from my lips, causing Fred to walk over to me, and sit down beside me once more.

"Are you ok?" he asked me.

I looked up at him, with my large smokey eyes, and tears trickled down my cheeks. He lifted up a hand, and brushed them away.

"Don't cry. It's alright. I'm here, you're gonna be alright."

I cried even harder at that thought, and relaxed my hands, as he pulled me into a deep embrace. The letter slid from my hand, and to the floor, floating and landing face down, as I let myself be hugged, and then hugged him back, crying all the time, for myself, and for my friends.

I spoke quietly, in an undertone, "I love you too, Ben."


	24. Hopeless Fantasies

"C'mon," Fred began to pull away. "Mum wants us all to clean up the house while we're here. We've got to help tidy up. I think they're all in the drawing room. We'd better go and help them before we get yelled at. Not that that's anything too unusual."

I smiled as he stood up, "You go on down," I told him, "I'll be down in a minute. I just need to change quickly. And clean up a bit."

He smiled at me quickly, and kissed me on the top of the head, before leaving the room, and shutting the door quietly behind him. I heard him disapparate just outside my room, and when he had gone, I smiled slightly, and picked the letter off the floor, taking it and hiding it deep into my trunk. I was never, ever going to forget him. And whatever would happen, I would wait for him.

I pulled a pair of black jeans out of my trunk, and pulled them on underneath my nightie, before taking it off, and pulling on a strappy top, bright blue in colour, and embroidered with silver thread and silver beads. I didn't bother to brush my crazy hair, but instead pulled it into a thick ponytail, and tied it with a piece of blue ribbon that I found at the bottom of my trunk. To make myself look a little better, I threw on a bit of mascara, and blusher, before racing down the stairs, and into what I presumed was the drawing room, startling everyone in it.

Harry and Sirius were standing by a huge tapestry that also appeared to be a family tree, whilst the various Weasely's were cleaning and attacking various parts of the room. I made my way over to Fred and George, and began to help them with what they were doing, battling against creatures living in the curtains.

By the end of the day, we were all exhausted, and fell into the kitchen to another marvellous meal, that I didn't eat much of at all. Whilst everyone sat up talking, I made my way up to my room, and pulled out some parchment, a quill, and some ink, with the intent of writing a letter to Seiji, although he might never get it. I could at least write it, and keep it, so that I could give it to him when I would see him.

Because I was going to see him.

And nobody was going to stop me. Even if it took me a hundred years, I would get there in the end.

Sucking the end of the quill, I though about what to write. And then it all came in a rush.

_My dear Ben,_

_I only just got your letter. It was only just given to me, and so I write back almost immediately. I try my best not to forget you, as I never wish to do so. I will live my life, and I wish for you to live yours, and hold all thoughts of Draco and myself close to your heart, so that they can never get to you. If you think of us, then anywhere you go, we will go to. That's all I ask of you. Never let our love go._

_I hope that this letter may get to you, and bring about any joy that you might be able to have. I miss you more each day, and try to forget that I might not see you for a long time. Everyday I hope for you, and pray that you will one day be free, and that we can be together once again. _

_Every little thing beats in my heart a remembrance of you, and I wish with all my heart that everything were you._

_Here the night is drawing in, and there is little light, so I must search for it. Search for the light that will lead me closer to you. I envisage a little wish in my heart, that you have the willpower to carry on everyday, and I pray that you never waver in your deference and strength of mind._

_I will always love you. And never forget you, no matter how you beseech me so._

_Please, if you may, write back to me. I depend upon you, and only wish to be with you in this time. I miss you with every fibre of my being._

_Yours, as every new day begins, and every old one ends,_

_Kara_

As I sealed the letter, I smiled a little through heavy tears that seemed to fall each time I thought about Seiji. These same tears had caused the ink to run all down the letter, which when sealed and undressed found its way into my hand.

I ran from the room, and down the stairs, hunting for Mrs Weasely. Finding her at last, alone, in one of the rooms, I gave her my most beseeching look, which I hoped would work, what with the tears still in my eyes, and my hopefully dishevelled appearance.

"Mrs Weasely," I began.

"Yes dear?" she looked at me cheerfully, her face falling when she saw the tears on mine. "Why, what is it?"

"It's this," I brandished the letter. "I need it to get to him. Please. Please help me."

I collapsed into tears, and she took the letter from me.

"I'll…I'll do what I can. I'm not promising anything." She smiled at me, "come now dear. Cheer up." She helped me up. "My gosh, look at the time. Off to bed with you now. Go on. Clear off."

She bustled me out of the kitchen, and I quietly made my way up the stairs, so as not to awaken the portrait. I walked past the door into Fred and George's room, and then doubled back again, walking up to it, and quietly knocking on the door.

"Who is it?" someone from inside called.

"Me," I answered.

Fred came and opened the door, allowing me to enter the room, and wrapping his arm round my waist as he did so, hooking me into him. I spun around to face him, and he pulled me into a kiss.

As we paused, and I leant back away from him, George spoke. "Ugh, you guys need to get a room."

"We already have one," Fred answered his twin, leading me over to his bed, and sitting down on it, pulling me onto is lap. I sat down, and smiled at George, who returned it with a broad grin.

I rested my head on Fred's shoulder, and listened half-heartedly to the conversation that he and George held. Without realising it, I began to fall asleep, and so Fred laid me down on the bed, and held a more hushed conversation with George, whilst I dozed contentedly.

The next thing I was aware of was Fred pulling the covers from under me, and climbing on the bed next to me, before pulling the covers over both of us. He wrapped his arms around my waist, and pulled me closer to him, whilst I pulled my hands protectively in front of me, until I was curled up into a ball in his arms.

I buried my face in folds of his shirt, smelling his yummy aftershave, and losing all thoughts of sadness, and feeling only happiness and sleep. He buried his face in my mounds of fluffy hair, and I also felt the two cats, that had taken to following me everywhere, settle somewhere on the bed.

I slept well that night.


	25. Lucky Dip

She lay on her side, turned towards Fred, upon whose chest her hand lay. His right arm surrounded her, and his left hand cradled her delicate hand on his chest. He, having already woken up, was resting his head upon her mane of dark curling hair, and squeezed her tighter to him. She nuzzled deeper into him, and the hand upon his chest curled up slowly, encircling in it a bunch of his shirt.

I stirred in my sleep, and felt my hand move, and I shuffled closed on the bed towards Fred. He moved slightly as well, and as I sighed contentedly, his hand gripped tighter around my shoulder. I moved my head, without opening my eyes, so that it was facing him. At least, I hoped it was facing him, and I heard movement coming from the area in which I suspected his head to be.

Next thing I knew, he had kissed me, on the bridge of my nose, between my eyes. I swatted him away, before opening my eyes, and kissing him back, then lying down once more to rest my head on his chest. He cuddled me in his arms, and we stayed like that, until George came, and threw a pillow at us, causing Fred to roar and jump up, chasing him around the house, until Mrs Weasely lost her temper, and yelled at them both.

In this time I had tried to sneak out of their room, without being noticed, only to be furtively sneaking out of the door, and walking bang into Sirius.

I looked up into his face, for although I was very tall; he still had those few inches on me. "Oops."

He smiled at me, in a you've-done-something-you-shounldn't-have-but-I-think-it's-cute-and-funny sort of way, "Oops indeed. Oh well, I won't tell, if you won't tell."

"Tell who? Tell who what?" I decided to act the innocent.

"Ah! And you parents were both so clever, as is your brother. What did go wrong with you?" He spoke with mock-seriousness.

I punched him playfully before sidestepping his return, and hopping quickly up the stairs, to my room. Once in my own sanctuary, I pulled some clean clothes out of the trunk, and stripped off the ones that I was wearing. Washing myself quickly at the basin, in the corner of the room, I pulled on these clean clothes, and was about to flee the room, when I noticed the dark splodge floating outside the window. Forcing open the heavy frames, I pulled the owl inside, and tore the letter off its leg.

Reading it quickly, I smiled at some of the content.

My Dear Kara 

_Well, what an excellent way to start a holidays, separated from Seiji, I know I have nothing to do, and I can imagine that you too are bored out of your skull, wherever you are. I hope you are not suffering too much, and don't have to endure too much awful company._

I laughed at this point. Draco would die rather than spend his summer with the people I was with.

On the topic of Seiji, I have not heard from him at all, as I had expected, however when I didn't hear from you either, I was greatly distraught, as I had believed that at least you might keep in touch. My parents are bothering me about having a friend over, and I really wish you could come, as my parents have met you, and seemed to like you.

_I'm missing you lots, and Seiji too. I wish we could all be together again, somewhere private. Please try and come. And it would be appreciated if I receive a good long letter, telling me where you are, and what you have been up to in the month that I haven't seen you, I wait for the reply._

_Try and come, wherever you are. You know where I live. Actually, you don't. But you'll find it. I enclose my address, so you have to write back immediately._

_Draco_

I smiled as I put the letter down, and decided not to write back yet. I gave the owl a little water, and left it in my room to rest, before going in hunt of people. Well, I actually wanted to see Remus, but I thought he would be where other people were. I skipped down the stairs, and was on my way down to the kitchen, when I was grabbed around the neck, by a hooked arm, and yanked back up the stairs, choking heavily.

"Ack! Ow! Can't breathe! LET ME GO!" I was going red in the face, and beginning to hyperventilate. When I was released, I turned around to face Fred, and began to berate him, "You ever, ever try to kill me again, and I will kill you. Hang on, if you try to kill me, I'll be dead, so I won't be able to kill you. Dammit!"

He laughed.

"Ok then. If you ever, ever try to kill me again, I will die a horrific death, deliberately, and you will mourn over my demise, and be hounded by guilt the rest of your life."

He laughed even harder, and so I spun round and made my way down the stairs again. He grabbed me again, this time by my arm, and pulled me towards him, before whispering in my ear, as his arms encircled me, "You're not allowed down there."

"Why not?"

"Because you aren't. There's an important meeting going on."

"And important meeting?"

"Shit! Um, yes. An important meeting."

I looked at him suspiciously, "Why is there an important meeting going on here?"

"I don't know!" he said nervously, his nostrils flaring, and his face turning a fabulous red, clashing with his hair. "It doesn't matter, does it?"

I decided to let it drop, and looked deep into his eyes, "I suppose not."

He smiled, a half-smile, with one side of his mouth, "Good." And yet again, before I knew it, he had pulled me closer and began to kiss me, softly. I let him kiss me, and as his arms were surrounding me, I pulled my hand up, and held them, palm down, against his chest, before moving closer to him, and kissing him back.

And then, at that exact moment, Harry appeared, as did Ron. And both of them totally lost it. Ron, because he was getting mad with Fred, for kissing me, as I was three years younger than him, and also meant to be going out with Seiji, and very closely linked with Draco Malfoy, and Harry getting angry, because I was his little sister, and then for the same reasons as Ron, and more. Both of them then began to do the whole 'you're-older-do-you-should-know-better' thing to Fred, and began to tell him off.

Next thing, George had come too, and he was sticking up for Fred and me, saying how it wasn't our fault how everything had turned out. It was fate. At this I burst out laughing, and everyone turned to stare at me. By this time Hermione and Ginny had come to join us.

"Um, guys, why is Kara laughing maniacally? And why are you all having an old granny's meeting out here?" asked Ginny.

I tried to stop laughing, and just about succeeded, whilst Ron and Harry explained what was going on. Fred was looking rather shamefaced, and I felt for his hand, and grasped it in mine, causing him to look at me and smile. Wrong move, for Harry noticed, and pointed, "Look! See what I mean!"

Hermione and Ginny looked, and both of them smiled. "It's really cute!"

"The look sweet together!"

"EXACTLY MY POINT!" exclaimed George, "and it isn't like he's only just started to like her. He's liked since she first came to school." Everyone stared at him, including Fred, who looked pretty mad. I was staring in disbelief. "Oops," he said, "Maybe I shouldn't have said that."

"No, you shouldn't!" Fred growled.

"Is it true, though?" I asked.

"Is what true?"

"That you've always liked me?"

"You know it is!"

"Well, I know that you asked me out back then, but…"

"WHAT!" everyone except Fred and I shouted.

"But I wasn't sure if you had stopped after that. When I said No. I mean, after all, you were with Angelina weren't you? I mean, you went to the ball with her, and got on really well. And she's the same age as you, and you're good friends. So I just stayed away. And then, well, then there was Ben, and it just stopped. I never knew that you still felt the same way. You should have told me."

He looked embarrassed, "I didn't know what to say. I didn't know how to tell you. Everyone would have laughed, or got mad."

"Tch! Too right!" Ron and Harry spoke in unison.

"This is too weird," I shook my head, and walked off, turning my back on them. I ran up the stairs, and shut the door, pulling across the latch on it, so that no one could come in. Lying on my bed, I stared up at the ceiling, thousands of thoughts running around my head.

Betrayal.

Liar.

Love?

Which one?

Who?

Betrayal.

Loyalty?

Friendship.

Who did I truly love? Draco, Seiji, or Fred?

I don't know which one.


	26. End of an Era

I wasn't allowed to go Draco. In fact, my dearest godfather wrote personally, and said that I wouldn't be going. Actually, I thing he said a lot more that that, but I don't know what else was said, he never told me.

The remainder of the summer holidays passed quickly and in a blur, albeit a happy one, despite the fact that a part of my being ached and burnt for Seiji. I missed him, and made a vow to myself that when I returned to school I would look after his little sister, Kameko. She was in Hufflepuff, but I would do my best by her.

Mrs Weasely had got all our books for us, and any new uniform that we needed. In my case, I needed longer robes, but rather than buy them, I simply let down the hems on my old ones, although dues to my sudden growth height-wise, my skirts were all incredibly short all of a sudden. Not that I knew certain people would mind.

We were to walk to the train station in groups, Harry with Mrs Weasely, Tonks and Moody, as well as Sirius in his animagus form, and Hermione and Ron with Mr Weasely. I was going with Ginny, Fred and George, and Remus, and at last all of us found our way to the station, and platform 9¾.

Once on the platform, everyone began to say their goodbyes, and quickly I had said all of mine, after Remus had told me to be careful, and "Not do anything stupid" I rolled my eyes at him, allowed myself to be hugged, and then walked off. I was waiting a short distance away, to see where Fred was, when I felt someone tugging on the arm of my top. Turning to see who it was, and exclamation of delight escaped my voice, "Kameko!" I gathered the younger girl into a hug. I had always wanted to look after her, ever since Seiji had brought her back. Madame Pomfrey had managed to cure her well, and then she had joined the school. She was only the year below me, but small for her age, and although she had friends, she still came to see us most days.

After the summer, I expected her to be lonelier than ever, and so I was overjoyed to see her again. After checking that she had a seat on the train, and that she had found some friends, I walked along it searching for Fred and George. At last I found them, in a compartment, in which they were yet again holding whispered conversations. I settled into a seat next to Fred, who acknowledged me with a brief kiss. I sat there, waiting for him to finish with George.

When they finally did, George left the compartment, claiming to need the toilet, and Fred kissed me properly, before pulling away, and looking deep into my eyes.

"Don't do that," he said.

"Do what?" I was bewildered.

"Give me that look."

"What look?"

"The look you just give me. Its sort of half puppy dog eyes, and half deep and soulful. It's chilling."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be. I like it, its just making what I have to do even harder."

He wasn't making any sense, and he was scaring me. "What do you mean? I don't understand."

"I don't want to do this, Kara."

"Do what, Fred? Please tell me, you're scaring me."

"Its not gonna work, is it? Us. At school? It'll never work, when you go back to Slytherin. You'll end up back with Draco, and then what'll happen?"

He spoke the truth, but it didn't stop it hurting. "I don't know," I whispered, tears filling my eyes. "We could make it work."

"Don't be stupid, Kara." He spoke harshly, and then his voice softened. "I'll always be there. You know that. If you ever need me, you know where to find me."

"Yeah. I know. Thanks," I smiled weakly. "Well, I'd better get going then."

"Going? You don't have to yet."

"It'll be easier if I do."

"Heh. Yeah, I s'pose it will. Well, I'll see ya around then," he hugged me briefly.

"Yeah. See ya." I smiled again, before lifting up my trunk, and the basket that held the cats, and making my way along the train.

It didn't take me long to find him, with Crabbe and Goyle, and a girl I had never seen before. I walked into the compartment, and greeted Draco, ignoring the others. Draco smiled at me, and then introduced me to the girl.

"Kara, I'd like you to meet Eleana. Ellie, this is Kara, one of my closest friends," I noted the emphasis on the word closest, and the look he gave me. His arm was around her shoulder, and I bit back the urge to yell at her to get out. She was petite, with greeny/brown eyes, and thick blonde/brown hair. She smiled broadly, and held her hand out for me to shake. I eyed it suspiciously, and then shook it. Before settling into a seat by the window, and gazing out of it.

Draco leant forward in his seat to talk to me, and laid his hand on my knee, "Hey, you ok? You look sad. I missed you, it would have been better if you could come."

I held in a snort, and glared at Eleana, "Yeah, it sure looks like you missed me. You've got someone to make up for me already, see?" I indicated her. "And I have plenty of reason to be sad, don't you think? I mean, my boyfriend is in prison, and my other boyfriend has a guy hanging off his arm. Oh, and I sorta just had my whole summer ruined."

"By whom?"

"Never mind. And get your filthy hands off me. Better get back to your girlfriend, hadn't you."

He sulked for the rest of the journey, and still wasn't talking to me all through the start of term feast. It was only at the end of the evening, when the common room had emptied, that he forgave me.

She was dumped within a week.


	27. You Wanna be in my Gang?

I was sitting in the common room, and drawing the constantly moving cats, as they squirmed around on a rug in front of the fire. Sketching their forms quickly, I would then turn the page, and draw them again, giving me plenty of time to do more detail on the pictures later.

This year I again had my own room, which was such a comfort, giving me space and privacy when I needed it. Draco always seemed to be busy, and never had much time for me. He claimed it was because of his OWLs. I was lonely, because of this, and so probably not my usual self around him.

In a way, however, he did me a favour, as without him, I would never have come across some new friends. They were fourth years, as was I, and we had most of our lessons together, although they were in different houses. Suki, the eldest of the three, and older than me as well, was of New Zealand heritage. She was quiet, and shy, disliked being around large crowds, hated being hugged, and when provoked, could be quite insane. She was short, with long dark brown hair, that was straight, and deep brown eyes. Suki was in Hufflepuff, and together with her was Denisa, or D, as she came to be known. Denisa was as loud as Suki was quiet, and with her green eyes, she gave foul or dignified looks to anyone who earned her wrath. She was the one that made us all laugh the most, and was the tallest of the three.

And lastly there was Annabelle, who was the youngest, being younger than me also. She, again, was short. Mind you, to me, everyone was short, as I towered over all the girls in my year, and the year above, and also a few in their sixth year as well. Which was good when I wanted to find anyone in a crowd, but bad when I wanted to be insignificant. But anyways, Annabelle was short, and had brown eyes, that were always twinkling for some reason or another. She was in Ravenclaw and was never afraid to make herself heard, and loved to try out new things. Her longish brown hair was nearly always swept back into a neat ponytail, which looked excellent, no matter what.

All four of us shared a love for cats, as all four of us had a cat, or in my case, two. Denisa had Aslan, Suki had Lucy, Annabelle had Wuzz, and I had Persephone and Euridice. Other than that, we were pretty much extremely different, but that didn't matter, as long as we were friends.

We used to sit out in the grounds together a lot, and as the days turned into autumn, with the glorious sunshine, we would often spend the weekends outside, occasionally seeing my brother. Denisa and Annabelle were both on their house Quidditch teams, and so often Suki and I were left alone, whilst they went and practised, not that Suki was the comfortable being left alone with me. Apparently I scared her, with my "scary" wand. Just because she had tried to use it once, and it had nearly killed Annabelle's cat. Wasn't my fault.

We were sitting in the grounds one Sunday afternoon, enjoying the dying sunshine, when I heard footsteps approaching, and so I turned my head from basking it in the sun, to see who was coming.

It was Draco, and so I turned my head around once more, signifying that I did not want to talk to him. He had been really off with me this term, and although he had dumped that first girl, I did see him with various others, and he never seemed to want to talk to me anymore, which hurt me. He kept on walking towards us however, and ignored my friends, especially when they greeted him. Well, at the time, Suki was saying something that sounded vaguely like "Oh no! Run in fear, there's a toefestation coming!" but Annabelle and Denisa had greeted him nicely.

He came up to me, and leant forward to whisper in my ear. I frowned as I concentrated on what he was saying, "I need to talk to you."

Turning around, I replied, "What is so important, that you can't say it in front of my friends?"

"Just come with me, ok."

I stood up grumpily, and muttered as I did so, letting him no exactly how I felt. He grabbed hold of my arm, and led me to an empty classroom, sitting me in a chair, whilst he stood in front of me, pacing the floor.

"Ok, so this year has been weird so far, and I've been really busy"

"You could say that. Mind you, I would use the words 'so wrapped up in his own life, he doesn't have any time for his old friends any more, and is now a two-timing bastard'. I thin they're more appropriate."

He shot me a glance like daggers, but I refused to quail, and just stared at him angrily, the blue flecks in my eyes flashing.

"Look, I'm sorry then," he gave in, "Have you missed me that badly?"

I stood up, so that I could look him in the eyes more easily, as my face softened, "what do you think?"

His eyes lingered on mine fore a second, before he shook his head, "Not now, Draco. Control yourself."

I sat down once again, disappointed. I was still missing Seiji a lot, and without spending so much time with Draco, it had been really hard. I sat for a while, feeling dejected, and very sorry for myself, whilst he mumbled to himself.

Eventually he came back to me, and crouched down, resting his hands on my shoulders. "Right then, I'm sorry. I'm really sorry for how I've been, I never meant to hurt you," he paused smiling. "I did have something to tell you, but it can wait. I'll tell you soon though, I promise that."

I was intrigued, but said nothing. After a moment longer of him looking at me, he put his arms around me, and pulled me into a large embrace.

Yet whilst h hugged me, my mind still buzzed with his words. What was he going to tell me? I wanted to know, well, part of me wanted to know. Another part of me just wanted to stay like this forever, and another part wanted to be outside. The largest part of my soul wanted to be somewhere, anywhere with Seiji, and somewhere, very, very, deep down, a final part of me knew that whatever I did with Draco was me making a mistake.


	28. Gone but not Forgotten

Christmas passed. And those who had gone home returned to school. I was one of the few to have remained over the Christmas break, although Draco had gone home. The other students all returned, but he didn't. I searched everywhere for him, and found him nowhere. Beginning to panic, I went to Professor Snape, who informed me "that Mr. Malfoy will be returning soon" and "I was not to worry about him, all was well, he just had some familial affairs to handle". I was not satisfied.

However, eventually, Draco did return, although he would tell me nothing. I reminded him of his promise. He claimed he had forgotten what he was going to say. I didn't believe him. Eventually I settled back into the school term, spending my days with Denisa, Suki and Annabelle, and my evenings with Draco, in either the common room, or my room, where we tended to talk. He gave nothing away.

And so February drew near, and so did a Hogsmeade. I was looking forward to it, although it was freezing outside, with ice everywhere. In the morning, I pulled on a long and flowing gypsy-like skirt, decorated with an abstract harlequin pattern, in dull dark pinks, and greens, with black detail on it. I wore with it a black strappy top, and over the top of that a dusky pink shrug, that tied in the front, with long sleeves to keep me warm, and its soft cashmere material.

Although it was cold, a bright sun was burning, and it was warming if stood under, so I only grabbed a long fitted block coat that did up down to my waist and then it remained open, revealing my skirt.

Leaving the school, I met Annabelle, Suki and Denisa outside, and together we all made our way into Hogsmeade, laughing all the way, and talking animatedly about what we were going to do. When we finally got to Hogsmeade, it was already busy with students from school. I saw Draco with some of his fellow Slytherin fifth years, and he waved briefly, before returning to his strutting around the streets with his so-called 'friends'.

Walking along the streets, I was looking around at the many people. And then I saw something that made me stop dead. The others noticed I had stopped, and turned to call me.

"Hey, Kara! Come on!" Annabelle encouraged me.

"What's wrong with you?" Denisa asked.

"Nothing, nothing. I just thought I saw someone I knew." I explained.

"Someone needs mental help," added Suki helpfully.

"Yes, and that someone is you," we all chorused in reply, as I caught up with them. I was now extra especially alert, and looking around everywhere. And then I saw it again, and stopped once more.

"Kara, come one," Denisa pleaded.

"Its gonna be crowded in the Three Broomsticks by now," said Annabelle, looking longingly at the warm pub.

"Look, guys, I'll see you later, ok? I just remembered I have to do something," I spoke, hurrying off, leaving them standing there with shocked faces, "I'll see you back at school." I spoke over my shoulder, and then turned and made my way off in the same direction in which I had seen it.

I could see a tall thin figure in the distance, and I kept following it, until I came to a stile, which I climbed, and up a path, that got steadily harder to follow.

In the end, I came to a cave, set deep into the side of the hill. I walked into it, catiously calling out, "Hello? Hello?"

And then I saw him, casually leaning on the side of the cave wall, and all my emotions and anger rushed out. I walked up to him, and tears formed in my eyes, as I stared him in the face.

"You bastard."

"That's a nice way to greet me."

"Bastard. You couldn't bother to tell me."

"I was told not to, it was all too complicated. Draco told me not"

"Draco knew? And you didn't think to tell me?" I was enraged, and shaking like mad. "How could you, Ben? How could you? I have been waiting, and waiting for you. And now you just turn up, and probably expect me to fall into your arms?"

"Well, I had expected a warmer welcome than this."

"I cried for you. I nearly died for you. And you just can't bother to tell me you're free. I hate you," I raised my hand to slap him, "I hate you."

He caught hold of my wrist, and his gripped, hard, his nails digging in, starting to draw blood, I dropped to my knees, gasping in pain, and still whispering "I hate you, I hate you," on a loop, as the tears fell down my face, and I cried for all that had happened.

Still holding my writs, he knelt down in front of me, "I'm sorry, ok? I never meant to hurt you. You must have got my letter. I love you, Kara. Ok? I never meant to hurt you."

I was still whispering heavily through my tears, "And still you never told me?"

"Draco told me not to. He said you were too deeply hurt."

"Well, he was right, wasn't he? It was hard for me, you know that. It was so hard. Over the summer, I had to pretend I had forgotten about you, but then coming back to Hogwarts made it all come back, and made it hurt even more. And for that, I hate you. For making my life hell, and making me feel so guilty, I hate you."

"You don't mean that," he lifted my head by the chin with his free hand, so that I was looking into his eyes. "You might say that, but you don't mean it. Your eyes say different," and he brushed some hair away from my eyes, "as does your heart," and he laid his hand on my heart, as I sobbed still more.

Gathering me into his arms, my exclamations of hate turned to ones of love, "Don't ever leave me, never ever again."

"You know I must. I have to"

"You don't have to do anything."

"But I need to. And I promise I will write everyday. I will not forget you. You know I won't."

"But I love you, and I need you. You can't leave me."

"I must. But you will see me again. Don't forget that."

"I won't," I snuffled, and looked at the ground, the tears dropping into the mud.

He pulled me into a long embrace, and then kissed me passionately, before looking me in the eyes once more, "I love you."


	29. Revenge is Sweet

When I was back at school, the tears were still streaming heavily down my face, after I said what felt like the hardest goodbye ever to Seiji. After attempting to tidy myself a little bit, I went to find my friends, who took one look at me, and demanded to know what was wrong.

"Hey, Kara, you shouldn't be crying, you're not meant to be crying at all. Come here, tell us what's wrong." Annabelle pulled me over.

"Yeah, you toe, you'd better tell us what's wrong after deserting us like that. It was most rude of you," Suki poked me, hard, in the stomach, and I winced, whilst Denisa slapped her on the shoulder.

"DON'T DO THAT AGAIN, DOOF," she yelled at Suki.

"Why did you slap me, scum?"

"Because you hurt her, bub."

"Guys, quit it!" Annabelle intervened, before turning on me once more, "So what's wrong then?"

And then I started, right from when I first met Seiji, to the time when I had just said goodbye. Some bits they already knew, and other they didn't.

"And the worst part is, I didn't know he was back, and he was free, because Draco didn't tell me. Draco, who knew that I was suffering, didn't tell me. And that's one of the things that hurts the most."

They all agreed that what Draco had done was low, and was awful, even for him.

And then he came, Suki jumped up, "I'm gonna kill that scum."

"No, don't," I cried, quite literally, as tears were streaming down my face. He was coming towards us, and I felt as if my insides were becoming my outsides, as with each step he took, my feeling became more mixed up. However, the uppermost one didn't change, and my hatred continued to rage continuously, and painfully, as I remembered what he had done.

He eventually reached us, and by this time, we were all on our feet. He ignored the others, as usual, and spoke solely to me, "Hey, I was wondering where you were."

"I've been here."

"Are you ok?" he inquired, putting his hand on my shoulder.

"Get your hands off her," warned Denisa.

He looked at her, "Piss off. Don't tell me what to do."

And that was when I snapped, as did the other three. I'd had enough. He'd lied to me, deceived me, and been utterly cruel and regardless of my feelings. And I'd had enough. But before I could do anything, Suki, Denisa and Annabelle started on him.

"Right, that's it, bub. I think you've said enough to her. And its time you started to feel sorry. So, this is for betraying my friend," Annabelle punched him, hard, in the stomach.

"And this, well, this is 'cause I like slapping people. Actually, no, this is because…umm…you're mean, and you're a liar, and you're SCUM!" and Suki slapped him, hard around the head.

Denisa came forward next, "You ever, ever insult Kara ever, ever again, and I will personally see that you never, ever have the ability to see sunshine again. But for now, because I'm feeling generous, I'll let you off lightly. So, head, gut, or crotch?"

"What the fuck?" was all he gasped.

And next thing I knew, Denisa laid into him, first of all hitting him around the head, then punching him in the stomach, and finally kneeing him in the crotch, causing him to double over in pain.

I would have helped him, I honestly would have. If he had apologised, but he didn't, or if he did, I didn't hear him. So I simply did what he would have done, if it were him watching someone getting beat up. I looked him in the eye, and smirked, before turning my back on him, and walking off.

I was sitting on a sofa in the common room, the two cats on my lap, when I heard someone else walk in. Without bothering to look, I could tell it was Draco, from the way he was groaning, and a slight limp could be heard in his walk. He walked over, and sat on the sofa next to me, and before I knew it he was crying.

I looked at him, scared. I had never known him to cry before. He always seemed so cold, and hard, well, on the outside. I looked at him, and felt concern on my face, and embarrassment for him. I was glad that the common room, as per usual, was empty.

"I'm sorry," he spoke to me, and his emotion sounded in his voice, "For not telling you. I know I should've. But I honestly thought I would hurt you more, and that you would get upset once again, and angry, and then everything would be ruined."

"What would be ruined?"

"The plans, everything."

"You knew there was going to be a breakout?"

"I knew, yes, I knew. And I knew Seiji would be coming back."

Now it was my turn to cry, as Draco's betrayal ran even deeper, "I don't know which hurts more, the not knowing, or the knowing now that I didn't know, and I wasn't told. How could you Draco? How could you bear to do such a thing? No. Don't answer that. I don't want to know."

"I'm sorry."

"You should be. You honestly should be. And you should know, that everything you just got, you deserved."

He looked up at me, and I could see he was already forming two black eyes, and had a split lip, as well as a torn nostril, and his face was covered in smaller cuts, and bruises.

"Ok, maybe not that bad."

He smiled, and then winced.

"Does it hurt that badly?"

"Urh, not really. I should be ok."

"Liar."

He smiled, and flinched again. And I felt sorry for him. I wanted to believe that he regretted his actions, I really hoped he did. As if he could see my indecision, he spoke, "I am sorry. I really and truly am. I love you, and I love Seiji. I don't want to do anything to hurt either of you, ever again."

I looked at him, and seeing his beseeching eyes, I softened. "Don't move. Ill go and get some poultice, and some ointment." I ran to my room, and returned with a clay pot of foul smelling poultice, a small bottle of ointment, and some cotton wool. Carefully putting some ointment on the cotton wool, I first cleaned the cuts, gently running the cotton wool all over his face, before applying the poultice with gently, yet deft, movements.

He sighed heavily, and complained after the smell, before thanking me.

"Come on, you need to rest. Can you get upstairs?"

"No, you'll have to help me. You might have to help me undress to," his eyes glinted mischievously.

"You'll be lucky."

I did help him up the stairs, and onto his bed, but then I said goodnight, and left him, making my way to my own room, where I could fall asleep free of guilt.

Seiji was true to his word, and everyday I received a letter, although some were barely four lines long, it was still good to hear from him. Sometimes I got parcels, little gifts that were the most pointless things ever, like small stones, but others were lovely, like the pure white rose he had enchanted to stay alive. It sat in my room, on my bedside table.

I still missed him though, and was glad when Easter came, and with it the holidays, I was overjoyed to be invited back to the Malfoy's for the break, as was Kameko. Although it was a small hope, as Draco had told me it was highly unlikely, part of me hoped that Seiji might be there.

I could hope.


	30. Holiday

We arrived at the Malfoy's, with their huge house, and amazing gardens. I was greeted as an old friend, and kindly shown to a room, with Kameko. We came to her room first, and she disappeared into it, whilst I was lead on by Draco's mother, to another door, she opened, and it allowed me to pass into it, dragging my trunk behind me, with the basket containing my cats, and also a cage containing Seiji's beautiful green snake, Midori. Draco was meant to have looked after it, but he was terrified of her, so I was looking after her for him.

The room was huge, and the walls were a deep red, with mahogany furniture, and a large fireplace, wooden and carved, in which burnt a large fire. There was a large four-poster bed in the room, much nicer than the one at Hogwarts, as well as a gilded mirror, and other beautifully gothic things. I turned around to thank Mrs Malfoy, who gave me a gratifying smile, before leaving me to settle in.

The first thing I did was let the cats out of their basket, and deposit them on my bed. I would have let Midori out, but I didn't want her to eat them or anything, so instead I left her alone for the time being. I would let her out later, when I could be in the room, to keep an eye on her.

I made my way back downstairs, an hour later, to look for Draco, and Kameko. I found Kameko, and she told me Draco was revising for his OWLs, somewhere. Probably in his room. How boring of him.

So Kameko and I talked for a little while, and eventually, the evening drew in more, and we were called to dinner, but only after changing first, into more presentable clothes. Well, robes. We ate the meal, and seemed to all get on quite well, although I was slightly scared of Draco's father, more so after I heard about what he did to Raven.

My bed was nice and soft, and so I slept well, not waking up until well into the morning. I had just got up, and was in the middle of changing, still wearing my pyjama bottoms, but topless, as I did up my bra. At that exact moment, there was knock on the door, and Draco walked straight in, talking to me as he did so, and then looking up when he finished asking me a question, "Hey, Kara, do you by any chance have any notes on the thingy, ur, thingy war-?…urh…oops…sorry, didn't know you were changing…I'll go again now, Urh, thanks. Byee…see you later. Uhuh, yeah, thanks." He had gone bright red, and I as well. I was thankful that I had by this time got my bra on, and I stuffed in my laughter, as he walked out of the room, still blushing.

But rather than go through the door, as he walked muttering to himself, head down, he walked straight bang into the doorframe, and fell back to the floor with a resounding crash. I giggled, and made my way to help him, but he had already got up, "I'm fine. I'm fine. Just falling over, ahem. I'm ok. Fine. Later," and this time he made it through the door, shutting it behind him.

Later that week, I was trying to sleep one night, but every time I so much as dozed off, my thoughts were filled with Seiji. I guessed this house just made m think about him more that ever. I couldn't sleep, so giving up all attempts, I made my way downstairs, to see if I could get a drink, and something to eat.

I wasn't the only one who couldn't sleep, as Draco was also in the kitchen, watching the kettle boil, and standing in front of it in just his pyjama bottoms. He had a nice body, with more defined muscles, as he wasn't as thin as Seiji.

"Hey," I greeted him, lifting my hand at the same time.

"Hello. Are you alright?"

"Yeah, I just couldn't sleep," I explained, giving him a quick kiss on the cheek whilst rubbing my eyes.

"Hot Chocolate?" he offered, holding out a tin of powder.

"Mmmm…yes please. Ooh, and do you have any cheese?"

He looked at me like I was crazy, "uh, yeah. Probably some in the larder. Help yourself."

"Thanks," I gave him one of my winning smiles, and disappeared into the larder.

"Why the hell do you want cheese?" he called into me.

"Weird craving. I get them sometimes."

"You mean, you do like food?" he said, mock amazement in his voice.

"Yes," I hit him on the head as I walked out into the kitchen again. "I just don't get hungry very often. I don't know why, its just me."

"Oh, ok then." He stirred the hot chocolate in the two mugs, and passed me one, after I had cut myself some cheese, which I promptly dipped in the hot chocolate. "Ewww. You're really gross."

"Thanks. Do you have any marmite?"

"We probably do, but you're not having it. I'm not letting you anywhere near it with that cheese and hot chocolate."

"Fine then. See how I care. Meanie."

He smirked.

I sat on a high stool, beside the counter, whilst Draco leant against it, and looked at me, concern showing on his face. "So why couldn't you sleep?"

"I couldn't stop thinking about Seiji, and when I was going to see him again."

"It could be sooner than you think."

"Why? Have you heard from him? How comes he always tells you stuff? I feel most of the time that he is hiding part of himself from me. I never feel like I know what's going on between us. I don't think he likes me at all," I burst into tears. "He must hate me, to never tell me when he is coming. He uses me. He doesn't like me at all…" I was still in full panic attack mode, crying my eyes out, and muttering similar things, when Draco gave a significant cough, and pointed behind him. I turned around slowly to see Seiji standing there, and as I, jumped, falling off the stool. As I stood back up, he spoke.

"Is that really how you think I feel? Do you really think me that shallow? I have told you how I felt, so many times. Never have I lied to you. Well, maybe a few times. But I'm not that shallow. I'm sorry if you think I am."

I hiccoughed a couple of times, as Draco faded subtly into the background, leaving me to talk to Seiji. Tears were still slowly dripping down my face. He looked at me for a moment longer, and then came over and, embraced me, his arms surrounding me, as I gripped at his shirt with my hand, and held him closer to me. He pulled me up towards him, and lifted my head with his right hand, then letting his hand stoke up my cheek, and pull my hair back, before kissing me, hard, on the lips. I let him kiss me, and kissed back, felling him pull at my lip gently with his own, before kissing me lightly on he cheek.

"You need to get to bed. It's late, and I'll still be here in the morning."

"You promise?"

"Yes."

I looked at him, slowly, and then walked out the room, casting him doleful looks over my shoulder, before climbing the stairs to my room, and falling into a deep sleep.

Draco, meanwhile, had returned to his room, knowing that Seiji would soon join him in there later. He sat on the bed, not bothering to put on a top or anything. Minutes later, he heard Kara come up the stairs, and go into her room, further up the hall. Then he heard a second set of footsteps, and knew Seiji was coming. He shivered slightly, not from the cold, but from the excitement that raced across his skin, as he waited impatiently for him to come.

The door handle slowly turned, and he watched it, his eyes peering through the darkness. It took an age, but then the door opened, and he saw his silhouette as he walked into the room, and made his way over to the bed. Draco was sitting on it, but as Seiji came, he lay down, until Seiji was leaning over him on all fours. Seiji leant into him, and kissed him, firmly and ardently, starting on his lips, and moving down his jaw line, and onto his neck, kissing as far around it as he could.

Whilst he was being kissed, Draco raised his hands, and undid Seiji's belt, pulling off his new Katana, and its belt, and then pulling off the robes themselves, pushing them off his muscular shoulders, and onto his back, by which time Draco could rip them off. His robes now off, Seiji felt free, and more at ease. Leaning over Draco, whilst wearing just his boxers. He lay down on Draco, letting his lightweight press down upon the other boy, yet still kissing him all the while.

Draco ran his hands through Seiji's dark and tangled hair, pulling at it, so that he gasped, and his neck was pulled backwards, making it accessible for Draco to kiss, and then bite, gently first, and then harder, causing Seiji to let out soft yelps of pain, only exciting Draco further.

Seiji rested his large tanned hands on Draco's pale chest, and traced the lines of the muscled, his hands gently going lower, and lower, until they reached the drawstring on the pyjama bottoms, which he teasingly tugged on, causing Draco to sit up, and throw him into a sitting position also, as if he was sitting on Draco's lap. He put his hands around Draco's neck, and then let them run through his neat blonde/white hair, whilst he kissed him some more, moving on to gently nibbling his ears, whilst Draco, stroked along his spine.

And then, with one deft movement, Seiji was lying on his back, and Draco was on the top, Draco having flipped him over. He lay, grinning up at the other boy, whilst Draco pinned his arms over his head, and knelt between his legs, bending forwards, to kiss around Seiji's chest. He kissed his neck, his chest, moved over his stomach, and then kissed his belly button, his tongue darting out of his mouth, and licking around his abdomen, as Seiji tried to control himself, and not move, although on the inside he was squirming. Draco looked up at him, and evil glint in his eye, and then returned to his task, and slowly trailed his tongue down from Seiji's stomach, and towards where the elastic of his boxers lay just above his hips. Draco looked up at Seiji once more, and then gripped the elastic in his mouth, making as if to pull the boxers down. Seiji gasped in pleasure, and would have made more noise, had not Draco then let go of the boxers, and climbed back up the bed, until his head was level with Seiji's. Leaning in very close, he whispered, "I'm tired," and flopped down on the bed next to Seiji, closing his eyes, and falling asleep.


	31. Seiji has a Bendy Wand

"I still have your snake you know," I informed Seiji, looking up at him from the book I was reading. The four of us, Draco, Kameko, Seiji and I, were sitting in the library, and Seiji and I were quietly whispering and laughing in the corner, whilst Draco studied, and Kameko got her homework out of the way.

"You do?" he asked amazed, "I thought Draco had her?"

"No. He was too scared of her. Had to get me in to look after her."

"Tch. Typical. Where is she?"

"In my room. I'll go get her."

"Nah, don't bother, I'll just come with you," he turned and told the other two where we were going before grabbing my hand, and dragging me up the stairs to my room. I had met his master the day before, the guy who was training him, Shinzaburo, and also Art, one of his other friends. Art was an albino, and with his long white hair, he looked mighty fine. Shinza, on the other hand, scared me slightly, with his serious looks and formalities. And the way he fought, teaching Seiji the art of swordplay. He had long brown hair, and eyes that seemed to rack my very soul. As with Lucius Malfoy, it pained me to be with him for long.

Another thing that confused me was that his wand looked just like mine. I had lost it just before the start of the holidays. Missing, completely, and so I had gone with Narcissa Malfoy, and Draco, to Diagon Alley, to buy a new one.

When we had reached there, Draco and his mother disappeared, arranging a time for us to meet, and leaving me to do my shopping. I had enough money in my meagre bank account to buy a decent enough wand, and so I had made my way to Ollivanders, the wand makers.

The shop had been deserted, and as the bell had tinkled when I entered, Mr. Ollivander appeared.

"And how may I help you today, miss?" he had asked.

"I need a new wand. Mine has gone missing again." I explained.

"I see then, and what sort of wand were you using? Willow? Beech?" He named some of the easier wands, and their contents.

"It was cursed. Silver birch, unicorn hair. Old owner died, so I bought it. Good wand, very powerful."

"Ah, I see. Well, try this one, not so powerful mind, but still good," he handed me a wand, and I managed to shoot out some sparks easily enough, before he had taken it out of my hands, and put it away, "Too easily done. Not the wand for you." And so he spent a long time, passing me wands of various ability, and still we did not find one suitable for me.

"I wonder," he murmured to himself, and disappeared to the back of the shop, carrying back with him a heavy metal box. "You must understand, that this wand I am about to show you is one of a kind. Nobody has been able to use it before. Not even I, and that is hard to admit." He opened the box, and took out a beautiful wand, made of stunning wood. "This is made of Japanese Maple. It was a beautiful tree, purple leaves. Very old as well. I knew that I had to get some of its wood. So I cut a branch off it, and the whole tree disappeared. Just vanished, right into thin air. This piece of wood right here," he indicated, "holds all the life in that tree. It is very, very powerful, and could bring about much damage. Inside it is the tail hair from a unicorn stallion. He was very famous, magnificent beast. The wand also contains some of his blood, a very little bit mind, but still, a rare quality in a wand."

"Its beautiful," I breathed, and it truly was.

"I am glad you said that," he beamed. "Would you like to try it?"

"Are you serious? You are going to let me try it?"

"Why not?"

I blinked, and opened and closed my mouth a couple of times, before taking the wand from his hand. "What should I try?"

"Have you ever produced a patronus?"

"Never."

"Try that, just speak the words, with a happy memory in your mind, 'Expecto Patronum'. Have a go."

I had thought of the first time that I had kissed Seiji, and of dancing with him at the Yule Ball, both special memories. "Expecto Patronum," I spoke the words quietly. And before I knew it, silver streams of light had shot from the end of my wand, and twisted to form a beautiful unicorn. It tossed its head a couple of times, before fading away. I was in a state of shock.

Now it was Mr. Ollivander's turn to do his goldfish impression, standing there, with his mouth opening and closing. "Amazing, amazing." He finally found his voice. "Never, in my lifetime, have I seen such a beautiful patronus. And with such a wand! You are incredible, child. I don't understand how you did it. You must take this wand, you must," he insisted.

"But I can't afford it. It'll cost way too much," I protested. "I only have two galleons, seven sickles, and 5 knuts. And even I am not stupid enough to know that it isn't enough."

"My dear child, for the pleasure of knowing that you have this wand, I will charge you only one galleon, and 5 sickles. It is simply amazing that you could use it."

I left the shop a very happy person.

In my bedroom at the Malfoy's, Seiji and I sat on the bed, Midori laid out across our laps.

"She's so fat!" he exclaimed.

"She ate a cat," I answered.

"One of your cats?" he looked hopeful.

"NO!" I hit him. "YOU ARE SO MEAN!"

"What, I was joking."

"Whatever."

"I was."

"Hmph."

"Honest."

I turned away from him, and he tapped me on the shoulder, "Kara?"

"Hmph."

"Aww, c'mon Kara. I was joking. You have to feel sorry for me, I have no other source of amusement. One must entertain oneself in manners such as this."

"Hmph."

He blew in my ear gently, and I started to squirm, and ended up pushing him away, whilst Midori slithered off, and back to the safety of her cage. In retaliation to my defence, he pushed me back on the bed, and whilst I giggled unhelpfully he tried to kiss me, his arms pinning me down on either side. I squirmed, and teased him, until he gave up, and let me sit up once more. I kissed him playfully on the cheek, and we went back downstairs once again.

The holidays were drawing to an end, and so Draco, Kameko and I were set to return to Hogwarts, and Seiji, Art, and Shinza set to go somewhere. No idea where they were off to.

We dined in style on the last evening, and stayed up later than we should have. When I finally slid in between the sheets of my bed, I almost fell asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow. I had no such chance of sleep though, for no sooner had I climbed into the bed, than Seiji climbed in on the other side, surprising me enough to almost fall out of the bed, which I would've done if he hadn't pulled me back in.

He pulled me in close to him, and my body melded into the form of his, and absorbed his warmth, and till there seemed to be an aura of warmth and love around us. I kissed him lightly, before settling my head on the pillow. I made little content sleepy snuffly noises, and for a while I felt him stroking my hair, and down my back, but I soon fell asleep, and was no longer aware of him.

He was gone when I woke up, and soon the three of us were one the train leading us back to Hogwarts.

I noticed he had taken the snake.


	32. The Amazing Disappearing Act

School changed that term. Dumbledore left. I didn't know why, I didn't keep up with much of the gossip. All I knew that he was gone, and the evil toad-like Professor Umbridge was the new headmistress. She was cruel, and evil, that woman.

I was sitting at breakfast one morning, alone, as Draco had already eaten, and my friends were at their own tables, when I received a letter. The owl delivering it simply dropped it on my empty plate and disappeared. It wasn't from Seiji. I opened it quickly, and read the contents quickly, at first not taking them in. It was a Saturday, and I was pretty exhausted. But all of a sudden I understand.

It was a letter from Dumbledore, to me.

_Miss Potter,_

_As you have now seen I am no longer headmaster of Hogwarts school, however I do in some ways feel it is my duty to warn you that you are in great danger, and your demise could be foretold now if you were to ignore my advice. I advise you to leave Hogwarts, now._

_I have recently come to believe that Lord Voldemort, although he didn't know previously, has been handed the knowledge of your existence, and although he may choose to ignore this evidence entirely, he might on the other hand choose to use you against your brother, in many different ways. _

_And so I advise you to find a safe place, where you may be safely hidden. Tell few people where you are going, maybe only Harry, or anyone else you feel you can trust. Wherever you go, I ask you to communicate with no one. I can have your absence explained by one of the staff as suspension, which I am sure may shock some people, but nevertheless be successful._

_Best wishes, and hope all goes to plan,_

_Albus Dumbledore._

I stood up, hurriedly, and rushed over to the Gryffindor table, where I leaned over Harry's shoulder. "Meet me by the lake, in 20 minutes."

He simply looked at me whilst I hurried to the Hufflepuff table, and gave the same message to Denisa, telling her to bring Suki and Annabelle with her. Then I hurried to the lake myself, and sat on its bank, trying to form a plan in my mind. And gradually one came.

My brother and his friends came, and then my own friends too, and I hurriedly explained what I knew, amidst their expression of deep concentration, and then shock when they knew of my danger.

"You HAVE to get out," Denisa and Annabelle said in unison.

"Demise is such an awesome word," Suki commented. We all frowned at her, "WHAT! Stop doing that, scum," and she punched Denisa.

"I have a plan already, guys, but I need your help," I turned to Denisa, Annabelle and Suki. "I can't tell you guys my exact plans, but at 5 o'clock today, can you please make a diversion to get Umbridge out of her office, for at least an hour."

"What did you have in mind?" asked Annabelle.

"Total mayhem," I suggested.

"Can it involve toes?" Suki's favourite topic.

"Yes, it can involve toes if you really want."

"Yay!"

"That's all I can say guys. I'm sorry, but if you could do that, and tell no one that you helped me, or what I have told you, it would be brilliant. Thank you. Thank you so much." I hugged each of them in turn, even Suki, who yelped, and shoved me off. They then went up the castle once more, creating plans. I was left standing there with Harry, Ron and Hermione.

"So, what're you gonna do, Kara?" asked Harry.

"I'm gonna get outta here. But I need some help. The only safe place I can think of, is wherever Dumbledore is, which could be anywhere. But there is also where we were this summer. It must be safe, 'cause I have no idea where it is. Please, guys, I need you to tell me the name of the place, so I can get there."

"But how're you going to get there?" Hermione interjected.

"Floo Powder, through Umbridge's office?" guessed Harry.

"Yes, exactly. But where do I need to go?"

"12 Grimmauld Place. And good luck too," Harry gave me a quick hug.

I watched as Hermione pulled a piece of parchment out of her bag, and put a quick charm on it, before doing the same on the another piece of paper, "Here," she passed it to me. "You write on your half, and I'll be able to see it on this piece. And the same the other way."

"Thanks, useful thing."

"Very. Well, good luck," and she hugged me too.

"Yeah, good luck mate," Ron patted me on the shoulder.

I smiled at them all, and then hurried back to the castle, and to my room. I hurriedly packed my trunk, and then shrunk it, so that I could put it in my pocket, which I then did, before hunting for the two cats. I then went hunting for Draco, to say a goodbye, not that I would tell him anything. I finally found him in a small room off the Common Room, studying yet again.

"Hey," I greeted him, "What you doing?"

"Work. And I'm sorry, but I really need to concentrate."

"Oh, ok then. Well, see you later." I lied.

"Uhuh. Bye."

I wasn't going to see him again, for a little while.

As five o'clock neared, I grabbed the cats, and made my way to the corridor near Umbridge's office. I waited in silence, lurking quietly, when I saw Denisa and Annabelle approaching, and knock on the door. Their faces looked amazing sad, and scared, their acting was that good.

Umbridge answered the door in her sickly sweet manner, "Yes, girls?"

"Sorry, Professor, but its our friend, Suki. She's going mad; professor, and we can't stop her. Filch is fuming." Annabelle explained.

"She's in the Trophy Room, Professor, and she's turning everything into…into…" Denisa tried to recover herself.

"Yes, yes, what is it girl?"

"Well, professor, she's changing everything into…toes."

"TOES?"

"Yes, professor."

"Lead on girls, lead on."

I watched, laughing my head off, as they hurried away. Good old Suki, with her magnificent Transfiguration skills.

I hurried into the office, through its open door, and over to the fireplace. There was a pot containing the green powder over the top of mantelpiece, and I grabbed a handful, and was about to throw it into the fire, when I heard a voice.

"Kara, wait."

I turned around. It was Draco.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm trying to burn myself."

"What the hell?"

"Joke."

"Oh, ok. But don't do that just yet."

"Why not?" I was confused.

"I need you to come with me, please. Now," he looked at me beseechingly.

"I thought you were to busy for me? Studying and all that."

"Never."

I considered going with him, for a moment. It wouldn't hurt would it. I was on the verge of going over to him, when I saw something that made my skin crawl. Draco, another Draco, walked into the room.

"What the fuck?" I shouted, as the first Draco turned around.

He spoke, "What the fuck are you doing here? You were meant to stay out of sight. You knew the plan. Why didn't you stick to it?"

"Umbridge asked me to come to her office, to get something," the other Draco began, and the two of them began to argue.

Now was my chance, and they didn't notice me throw the powder into the fire, and step into it. I whispered quietly, although still clearly, and with a woosh, I disappeared.

Stepping out of the fireplace, I calmly greeted my Godfather, and his friend, "Evening Remus, Evening Sirius."

Both of them dropped the mugs of tea they were holding.


	33. I need You

"What the hell are you doing here?" Sirius spat out his mouthful of tea.

"I've come visiting."

"What?"

"I've come visiting."

"Um, but Kara?" Remus asked, "Where's you luggage?"

I pulled the miniscule trunk out of my pocket and returned it to normal size, and then plonked the cat basket on top of it.

A thought seemed to also strike Remus at that moment, "Hang on, aren't you meant to be in school?"

"Um, maybe."

"Kara…" there was a warning tone in his voice.

"I've been suspended."

"WHAT!"

"Joke. I received this letter," I handed him the letter, which he read, Sirius peering over his shoulder. When they had finished reading it, I continued, "And this was the safest place I could think of. So I had to come here. Is that ok?"

They looked worried. "Of course it is!" exclaimed Sirius. "The more the merrier!"

"Thanks," I grinned.

"Are you sure you've done the right thing?" Remus still looked worried.

"Its' fine, Remus. She'll be fine here. And she isn't missing anything. Well, other than school. Its not like she has exams or anything."

"Actually, I do."

"Well, its not like she has important exams or anything."

I smiled, and eventually Remus' face cleared, and he too was smiling.

Sirius beamed at me again, and I was slightly scared by him. "We'll have a feast to welcome our new guest!" he decided.

"Um, Sirius, you can't cook." Remus reminded him, patting him on the shoulder.

"But you can."

Remus grimaced, and walked over to the larder, and peered into it. "We have, one tomato, one potato, two eggs, half a loaf of bread," he picked it up, "Make that half a loaf of stale bread, and something," he sniffed at a small clay pot, "that should have been chucked out ages ago."

"No food?" Sirius squeaked.

"No food." Remus' face was grim, and I couldn't help but laugh.

"You two…" I gasped in between laughing, "Are soooo stupid. You are just like an old married couple."

"Us?" Sirius asked.

"Never," Remus also said.

"SEE WHAT I MEAN?" I collapsed onto my trunk in laughter, at the same time knocking over the basket, and freeing the cats. Fluff ball then went and attacked Remus, whilst Euridice jumped up onto the kitchen table, and curled up into a ball. I was still laughing.

Remus struggled along, with Persephone clinging to his leg, explaining that he was going to go to the local muggle shops, and buy some food. When he reached the hall, I heard him yell at the cat, as he pulled her off his leg, and attached her to the banisters, and then leave the house.

"So," Sirius began, "How's it all been going?"

"Um, ok, I think."

"Not having any problems?"

I felt very uncomfortable, "Urh, no."

"How do you think he found out?"

I knew that question would be coming. And I had ideas of how he had found out, none of which I was about to mention. "I don't know."

I was glad when he left it at that.

I lay in the bath, soaking in the warm water, and letting the soot wash from my skin. I let myself lie down in the hot water, the bath being long enough for me to do so. I closed my eyes, my head almost submerged in water, and my long hair floating out behind me. I was relaxed, and deep in thought, about why I was where I was. And how he had found out.

And then I felt some long, thin, powerful fingers grab me around the neck, and drag me deeper into the tug. I tried to scream. I tried to really hard. And I heard a voice, a cruel and harsh, rasping voice, "So, I have found you, at last."

My thought blurred, and I could only think one thing. I had locked the bathroom door. There was no way out, and I was dragged further, and deeper into the bath, and to what I thought was my death.

When I could breath again, and the hands no longer surrounded my neck, my first action was to gently massage it back to life, yet as I started to do this, I noticed my nakedness, and then the fact that I was surrounded by hooded and masked witches and wizards. I screamed once more, and then I heard another voice, that was thick in it evilness.

"It's no use screaming. They can't hear you. No one will help you any more. You're all alone. You were born alone, you were left alone, and now you will die alone."

I could tell it was a women's voice. And then she moved, and her hand was revealed from amongst the long robes, holding a wand. I tried to speak out, but this time, no sound would come. I stood there, rooted to the spot, waiting for her to cast her spell, "_CRUC…"_

"_Expelliarmus!"_ someone shouted from behind me, and the women's hood was thrown back, by the force of the spell, as where the hoods of those around her, revealing everyone's faces. Her wand went flying from her hand, and she swept into a low bow.

"Apologies, my lord."

There was a hissing noise, and she backed away, and faded into the small crowd. I was terrified, and by this point starting to shake also, as I covered my naked body with my arms.

"Turn around," the same harsh voice that I had first heard ordered.

I did so, slowly at first, as if being revolved automatically, and not by my own will. I kept my head bent, looking at my feet, which were standing in thick mud.

"Look up."

I looked up, slowly. I felt as if my whole being were to explode with fear. Seeing that face, I wished for death, for there, standing before me, was the very man I was hiding from. Lord Voldemort.

"Do you know why you're here, girl?"

I tried to shake my head, and did so with much difficulty.

"You are here, to die. You are here to die, because you're brother is not. You will die, and then he will wish to avenge you. You are simply a pawn in this bloody battle."

His words angered me, and I felt my old temper surfacing, and so I stood tall, and looked him in the eye, "You dare to speak of my brother as such?" in turned around, to face all the unhooded death eaters surrounding me. "All of you, you dare to criticize my brother? And then, on top of that, you criticize me? You insult me. You take me, and unarmed, vulnerable girl, with the aim of killing me? Where is the fairness in tha" I stopped, stunned. For as I had spiralled on the spot, I had seen three faces which I recognised.

Shinzaburo.

Art.

Seiji.

Seeing Seiji, the words failed me, as did my heart. I stood, looking at him. I wished to disappear, for the burden in my heart was too great, and I stood staring at him, ready to accept my fate.

"Are you ready to die now, girl?" Voldemort spoke.

"Yes," I spoke with no resistance now, for the flame that had brunt in me was gone. I looked deep into Seiji's eyes, and he looked back at me. I heard footsteps coming towards me, and then the presence of his head, very close to mine.

"You look at the very person who betrayed you," he hissed.

Tears fell down my face, and as Voldemort stepped away again, my eyes filled with tears. The waiting death eaters all seemed to be filled with anticipation, except Seiji.

"Any last words?" asked the woman from before.

I began to shake my head, and then looked at Seiji once more, the tears falling from the grey depths of my eyes. "Why?" I whispered, so that only he could hear me. "Why did you do it?"

From behind me, I heard Voldemort start to speak, and ignored him.

"Help me," I continued to whisper, and plead. "Please, help me…"

He looked as if his heart was about to break.

And then Voldemort began to call out the killing curse.

I heard myself scream, over his voice, "Seiji, help me…"

And then I fell to the ground, in a faint.

I opened my eyes, and found myself in the bath once more, and although the water was still warm, I was shaking violently. I heard shouting from outside.

"KARA? ARE YOU OK?"

"Kara, are you in there?"

"Open the damn door!"

"KARA!"

I got out of the bath, quickly, but maybe to quickly, and pulled a towel around me, before hurrying to open the door. I did not look in the mirror, or anything, but quickly unlocked the door, and opened it, falling into Remus' arms, as tears once again fell down my face.

An hour later, I was sitting by the fire in the kitchen, wrapped in several blankets, and holding a mug of sweet tea in one hand, with my other hand around my neck. There were bruises all around my neck, each one clearly defined, so you could see the long fingers. When I had seen these, I knew it hadn't been a dream.

Remus and Sirius were sitting in the corner, whispering amongst themselves. "I'm worried, is it safe here for her now?" Remus asked.

"Of course it is, she'll be fine. We just need to keep an eye on her."

"Or two."

"Yeah, ok, or two."

"I'm still worried, though. She hasn't spoken yet, has she?"

"I know, but it's the shock, it wasn't that long ago."

I turned to look at them both, my eyes filled with tears, implying that I could hear every word they were saying. They both looked at me sheepishly, "Sorry."

The truth was, I couldn't bear to speak, because all I could think about was how he could've done it. Seiji. He had told me he loved me, and then he had stood there, ready to watch me killed.

My heart was endlessly asking the question, that I couldn't answer.

Why?


	34. sceles liberator

I couldn't sleep in the room by myself, and when Remus had made to leave the room, I had grabbed his arm, asking him to stay. I still hadn't spoken, and as much as I wanted to, when I opened my mouth no sound would come out. And so Remus spent the night in an am chair, sleeping soundly, although he was undoubtedly very uncomfortable. He and Sirius would take it in turns, to watch a 15 year-old girl whilst she slept. It made me feel so pathetic.

The summer came, and the end of the school year was drawing near, as I myself knew. I still hadn't spoken, not since the incident, and I knew that Sirius and Remus were beginning to find it a bit tiresome. But I couldn't bring myself to speak, and so they couldn't help me.

One day, I was sitting in the kitchen, with Remus and Sirius, when there was a knock on the front door, which Remus then went to answer. He returned at a run with three other wizards, all of whom I recognised, Tonks, Moody, and an auror by the name of Kingsley Shacklebolt. I knew him, as he had been one of those to come and collect Seiji, when he was taken to Azkaban. He was one of those that had stunned me. They all acknowledged me when they came into the kitchen, and stood in a corner of it, conversing with Sirius and Remus.

Since I had stopped speaking, my hearing had become better, and so I could easily hear what they were saying, and the urgency with which they were speaking.

"We need to get to the ministry, quickly."

"What? Why?"

"Harry's there, with his friends. I don't know what they're doing there, but it isn't good."

"God, we need to get there quick."

"Can we apparate?"

"Should be ok to."

"Lets go then!"

"What about her?" they pointed at me, and Remus hurried over.

"Kara, we have to go. Are you going to be ok here, by yourself?"

I stood up, and so indicated that I was coming.

"But you can't apparate," Remus pointed out. I grabbed hold of his arm, knowing that then I could. "Ok then."

"We're not seriously taking here?" asked Kingsley.

"She'll be fine. She's an excellent duellist," growled Moody. "Now, lets get going."

As we all began to apparate, I heard Tonks whisper to Sirius, "Why doesn't she talk?"

"We don't know. She just doesn't."

I smiled grimly, and before I knew it, I was soaring through nowhere, gripping tightly to my godfather's arm. And then yet again there was land beneath my feet, and we were inside the ministry, which was deserted, and running through the corridors.

"Where are they?" shouted Sirius.

"They were in the Department of Mysteries."

"Lets get down there then!"

Once again we apparated and were on another floor, and could hear shouting. Picking up the pace, we all sprinted to the cause of the noise, drawing our wands. I was glad that I had brought mine, and I pulled it out of my pocket, holding it tightly in my hand. We found a room, and went in through two doors, Sirius, Remus, and I through one, and Tonks, Kingsley and Moody through the other.

Bursting into the room, I saw thirteen death eaters, and two boys, Harry and Neville. One of the Death Eaters turned, and I noticed it was Lucius Malfoy. Tonks at once sent a stunning spell at him, which hit him in the chest, and knocked him to the ground. I stood at the top of the stairs, whilst the other five ran down, and started duelling viciously. I watched Harry walk over to Neville, holding something into his hand. And then someone was on top of him, crushing him.

No one seemed to notice. Remus was fighting a tall Death Eater, who could only be Shinzaburo. Kingsley was fighting two at once, Moody was also fighting two, and winning, whilst Tonks was firing curses at Bellatrix Lestrange, the woman who had so taunted me in my 'dream'. Sirius was also busy, and I watched as my brother was being killed. I ran towards him, silently, and jumped down the many stairs. And then I stopped, before I was even halfway down, because Neville had done something to get the Death Eater off. I heaved a sigh of relief, and then saw a Death Eater standing, looking at me. He was wearing a mask, and I could only see his eyes. But I would recognise those eyes anywhere.

But before he could say anything, I had turned once again, hoping he wouldn't do anything. I surveyed the scene once more, and saw Harry pulling Neville away, but then Lucius Malfoy was behind him. I gasped, and was about to do something, but before I could, I saw someone looking at me from below, and shouting something up at me. I looked at the Death Eater, and lifted my powerful wand, and without saying anything, my wand shot out and unknown curse. It hit the Death Eater dead on, and he fell to the ground, motionless, and silent. I guessed that my pain and anger inside was causing my wand to shoot out spells.

I turned around once more, and looked into those deep green eyes. He was still standing there, watching me.

"Kara," he began, his voice was soft, "I'm so—"

"Seiji, what are you doing? Get on with it! Kill her!" I heard someone yell.

"I'm sorry."

I walked closer towards him, as he drew his wand and closed his eyes.

"I'm so sorry."

I was still walking towards him.

"Speak to me goddamnit!"

I was now very close to him, and I lifted one hand to his face, and kissed him.

He kissed me back, and was about to put his arms around me too, when there was a shout from behind.

"Seiji, KILL HER! GET ON WITH IT!"

He pushed me away from him, and turned away. To see if he could fight anyone else, and left me, standing on the stairs. I looked to where the other voice had been coming from, and saw Shinzaburo standing there, his face contorted with anger, holding my wand in one hand, and his Katana in the other. He ran towards me, up the stairs, shouting curses, and brandishing his Katana. He shot a curse at me, and I rose into the air, whilst he held me there, about to slice me to pieces with his Katana. And then, from somewhere below, Remus shot a curse at him, which hit him in the groin, causing him to drop me, and I fell, from twenty feet above the top of the stairs, to the floor at the bottom of the stairs, landing with a sickening crunch.


	35. Silence is Easy

When I woke up, I was yet again in St. Mungo's. I seemed to spend half my life in there. Sitting beside my bed was Remus, asleep, and still looking exhausted, and much worse that I had ever seen him before. I smiled at him, wishing for him to sleep easy for a while longer yet.

I shifted slightly in the bed, trying to become more comfortable, and closed my eyes once more, drifting into a shallow sleep.

When I awoke yet again, Remus was no longer there. Seconds later, he returned, holding a cup of coffee. I smiled at him, and tried to move into a sitting position. He helped me up, by moving the pillows, and asked me how I was feeling.

I didn't speak. I still couldn't, the sounds just wouldn't come out.

"Well, after you'd fallen from about thirty feet in the air, and landed in a strange way, you were brought here, with several broken limbs. They're all healed now, and you were simply asleep, and didn't wake up. Until now," he explained it all.

I nodded. I thought I understood. And I closed my eyes momentarily, and thought back to what I last remembered. It all came flooding back.

Remus continues hesitantly, "Harry's fine. Ron and Hermione will be fine; Neville, Ginny and that other girl are all ok. Moody soon recovered, Tonks is here as well, and getting better. Kingsley is back at work already." He forgot Sirius.

Why didn't he mention Sirius? He was looking all say again, and worried. I looked at him, and smiled, and so he continued, "And Sirius," he choked up, tears coming to his eyes, "Sirius, Sirius is dead."

Tears slid down his face, and he wiped them away, as I put my arms out to him, and hugged him. I knew that it must be hard on him, two of his best friends now dead, and the other one, the man who had betrayed my parents, a Death Eater.

Tears came to my eyes as well, and they fell, until I stopped them.

He pulled away, and wiped his eyes, ashamed at his own tears. "We can see Tonks whenever, I think she's ok for visitors. The healers have said that you could go home as soon as you've woken up," he handed me some clothes, "so, put these on, and we can go and see Tonks." He strode out of the cubicle, drawing the curtains around it, giving me privacy in which to change.

Once I had pulled on the jeans and t-shirt, I climbed off the bed, and made my way out of the ward to find Remus. He was sitting on a chair outside, and when he saw me, he stood up. He was looking so old, older than he should do.

"She's this way."

I followed him, as he led me through the maze of corridors and healers, to Tonks' ward. She looked pale and small in the bed, despite her shocking pink hair, but by the time we had left, she seemed to have perked up quite a lot, and didn't look quite so bad. Apparently she was meant to be leaving the hospital soon.

We said our goodbyes, and left the hospital, catching the London underground to our home, an old house in the suburbs, an area called Hillingdon. The house was quite large, and it was good to be home again, as it was a cosy house.

"Hey Kara," Remus began, whilst he hung up his coat in the hall, " Do you wanna redecorate the house this summer?"

I nodded, I loved painting the house, and even at the age of four I was scribbling on the walls with my crayons. I looked at him and smiled.

"Good. It really needs it." He poked one of the walls experimentally, and as if to prove his point, the wallpaper itself fell down, in a roll to the floor.

I smiled even more.

"Its not funny!" he protested. "Stupid house," he walked off muttering, and returned minutes later, pressing a cup of tea into one hand, and a handful of samples in the other. I took a sip of the tea, and looked through the samples.

"Which one for in here? I was thinking of cream," Remus mused.

I threw all the cream samples on the floor, disregarding them. Before leafing through different colours.

By the end of the day, I had decided on a cream, but only as a base colour, and I had drawn a design for the rest of the room, in cream, with burgundy vertical stripes it, of various thicknesses. All in all, it looked pretty amazing, if I said so myself.

I overslept, and by the time I woke up in the morning, Remus had already wall papered, and got the paints in. He was applying the base colours, and whistling away to himself, whilst I ate breakfast, and then changed into some old overalls he had found for me. Pulling these on, I grabbed a paintbrush, and together we managed to get the walls done pretty quickly, so that they would be ready for striping tomorrow.

Paint in our hair, and covering our faces, we had our evening meal, and I fell into bed, exhausted, whilst Remus painted the window frames, and skirting boards.

In the morning, I was all ready to continue with the painting, and picking up the paintbrush, when Remus came into the room, "Hey, hang on, until tomorrow. They're coming back from Hogwarts today, and I said we'd go and meet them at the station. Is that ok?"

I nodded, as was becoming my habit now. I was forgetting how to speak at all, and Remus seemed to be getting used it now. I was one of those 'emotionally lapsed' people. Or something weird like that.

"Oh, and Kara,"

I looked up at him.

"I got you this," he handed me a book. "Its so you can write your feelings and thoughts down, and then show it to people, if you like, but not if you don't want to. It'll hopefully help you. I hope."

I smiled at him, and he patted me on the shoulder.

"That's ok. I hope it'll work. Now, go and get changed, so that we can go and meet the Weasely's. I think we're all going in one car, and we need to pick up Tonks and Moody as well."

I ran up to the room, and placed the book on my bed, so that I could look at it more later. Reaching into my wardrobe, I pulled out some clothes, a short white skirt, that had blue flowers embroidered in it, and a white strappy top, over the top of which I pulled on a thin blue shrug, and a turquoise necklace. Grabbing a pair of flip-flops out of the wardrobe, I ran down the stairs, to find Remus in a suit, with the house keys in his hand.

"The taxi is waiting."

I walked out of the door, and climbed into the open door of the waiting taxi. It was empty, so I presumed we were picking everyone else up along the way. Remus climbed into the car next to me, and quietly spoke to the driver. Before I knew it, we were scooting along, whilst I leant against the window, and watched London passing by.

And then we stopped, and Remus got out of the car, to go and find whomever it was we were picking up. The driver turned to me, and started speaking to me in a heavy cockney accent, "So, what does your dad do for a job then?"

I looked at him blankly.

"Er, is he not your dad?"

I shook my head, and the driver looked out the window and grunted, and then looked at min the rear view mirror once again, "So, going anywhere on holiday this summer?" I looked at him blankly again, and was glad when Remus returned again, this time climbing into the front.

"The other two are just coming," he told the driver, "but I think I'll sit in the front to direct you this time."

"Ok then, sir," he pointed his thumb backwards, and indicated me, "Can she not speak? She dumb or something?"

I suppressed a smile, as did Remus. "No, she had an emotional time, and hasn't spoken since then."

I could tell this scared the driver slightly, and he looked even more scared, when two more people climbed into the cab, both with shockingly ginger, hair, and bright green dragon-skin jackets. It was Fred and George, and I threw my arms around him, when he climbed into the cab first, and then hugged George as well, though with not as much pleasure as with Fred.

I had missed him.

By the afternoon, we had eaten lunch in London, after meeting up with Mr and Mrs Weasely, and Tonks, and also picking up Moody. Remus disappeared for a short while, and then later we were all at Kings Cross Station, waiting on Platform 9, standing out quite a lot, what with Tonks' bright pink hair, and Moody's scary looking bowler hat, that covered a magical eye.

And then finally, Harry, Ron, Hermione, and Ginny broke through the barrier between the two worlds, and made their way over. Harry seemed shocked to see us all, and hugged everyone in turn, coming to me last. "How are you?"

I just smiled at him, and he frowned slightly. It wasn't until Lupin came over, that he understood. "She doesn't talk any more, Harry. No one knows why, she hasn't told us, but she just doesn't talk. Now, lets go see this aunt and uncle of yours."


	36. Regresa a Mi

We went to talk to Harry's aunt and uncle, and basically gave them a good warning about not to treat him badly. I had stood beside them, and before he left, he turned and hugged me quickly, "I'll see you soon, ok?"

I nodded, and then walked off with the others, finding myself standing beside Fred, who took my hand in his, and grasped it tightly. He leant his head in towards mine, and whispered in my ear, "George and I have moved. We're living above the shop now, our shop. Will you come and visit?"

I looked up at him and smiled, as he squeezed my hand once more. "Good." He kissed me lightly on the head, before turning to the others, and addressing the others, "Well, as nice as it was to see you all again, we have people to see, and so we must go, goodbye." 

"Farewell, dear friends," added George, and the two of them disapparated, totally disappearing from sight.

"What do they think they're up to, apparating in broad daylight like that?" I heard Mrs. Weasely muttering. "So, so stupid. Dangerous, inconsiderate…"

After a while longer, Remus and I said goodbye, and returned home, as the evening was drawing in, and although it was summer, it was still getting cooler.

Once home, Remus collapsed into a chair, listening to the wireless, as I supplied him with tea and cookies, home made by yours truly. After and hour or so, I disappeared into my room, and sat on the bedim curling my legs underneath me. Picking the book on my bed up, I looked at it, with more concentration. It was made of dragon skin, and soft and supple in my hands, at the same time as being firm. There was a tie on it, upon the end of which were attacked large silver beads, and engraved on the front, in silver writing, were my initials, KHP. I ran my finger over them, before rolling over, so that I was lying on the bed.

I grabbed a pencil from my open bag at the foot of the bed, and, opening the book on its first whit page, I began to write.

The Property of Kara Helena Potter Started two months after her Fifteenth Birthday 

_Recording her thoughts and feelings after her attack_

_For Seiji Furu-yama_

I looked at it, and made a few touches, so that it looked more ornate, before grabbing a quill and some black ink from my bag, and doing the pen work over the top of it, in my fine calligraphic hand. I had just finished writing this, when Remus called me up the stairs. Screwing the lid back onto the ink, and laying my quill on my bed, I rolled off it, and made my way downstairs, accompanied by shouts of "Food is done!" and "NOOOO…DON'T YOU DARE SET YOURSELF ON FIRE TEA TOWEL!"

Smiling to myself, I walked into the kitchen, and helped Remus to serve up the salad and chicken breast, which was the cause of the burning tea towel. Grabbing our plates, we walked out into the small garden that came with the house, and settle into the cream wrought iron chairs on the decking, catching the last rays from the setting western sun.

I did the washing up that night, whilst Remus applied dotted lines to the wall, marking the outline where we were to paint burgundy and paler coloured striped the next day. Whilst I was drying up, and putting things away, he called into me from the living room, "Oh, Kara, I forgot to say, I ordered some furniture from a muggle shop today. The new carpet comes next week, and then the new blind comes on Friday, I think. And I ordered a new suite as well, leather, really nice. And I got a new bed, for you. I think the old one is a bit short for you now, but we can probably sell that somewhere, with the old suite."

I went to the doorway, and nodded at him, as I had now totally forgotten how to speak.

A few weeks into the summer holidays, Remus received a letter from Professor Dumbledore, telling him lots of things, as well as stuff about me, the main information being that I was to return to Hogwarts next term, and also that I was to return to Gryffindor House. I was puzzled, but at the same time I understood. At least Ginny was speaking to me now, so it wouldn't be so hard.

Later that same week, I had a small bag packed, with a few clothes and some overnight things, as I was going to stay with Fred and George for a little while. We had already managed to decorate and complete the living room, the kitchen was being refitted by some muggle workmen, a good enough reason for me to move out, and mine and Remus' bedrooms had also been redecorated, mine with pure white walls, apart from the black skirting, and the black stripe around the ceiling, and Remus' pale blue.

We arrived at Diagon Alley without too much bother, and found our way to the shop, which wasn't hard to miss. It was incredibly busy inside, and so I hugged Remus goodbye outside of the shop, whilst he assured me that he would see me in a few days, and we would hopefully have a kitchen again by then.

I walked into the brightly lit shop, which was covered from head to floor in tricks, and jokes, with brightly coloured posters everywhere. It was positively heaving, and I struggled through the crowds, and made my way to the counter at the back of the front of the shop. There was no one standing there, and so I waited for what felt like ages. Eventually, I felt a hand on my shoulder, and jumped into the air, to see George standing there, "Hey, Kara! Go into the back, and make your way upstairs. Fred'll be up in a minute."

I nodded, and went to go, when he put his arm on mine again, and gave me a quick one-armed hug, "Its good to see you."

I smiled, and made my way through a doorway to the back of the shop, that was littered with boxes, before finding the stairs, and making my way up them too, to find a large, and very spacious flat. The first room I walked into, upon rising up the stairs, was painted a beige colour, with a lime green stripe around the centre of the wall, and a big red sofa, as well as black leather recliners.

I left my bag just to the side of the top of the stairs, and sat on the sofa, relaxing into it, feeling exhausted after standing in the shop for about ten minutes. I had just begun to relax, when I heard a small pop in my ear, although just behind me, causing me to jump. Next thing I knew, Fred's arms were around me and hugging me tight, "I'm glad you're hear," he whispered in my ear. "It's good to see you."

I squeezed one of his hands.

The week passed quickly, and before I knew it I was back at home, and relaxing in my new room, enjoying the comfortable new bed. The new kitchen was nice, and we'd had an AGA fitted, which made the house warmer than it had been for a long time, even throughout the summer.

I had not yet been home three days, when it was decided that I was to go to the main Weasely home for a little while, but only a couple of days, to see Ginny, and Harry, and all the others. Hermione was staying as well, in Ginny's room, and so when I arrived, Ron, who was in his own room, moved into Fred and George's, with Harry, giving me Ron's attic room to myself. It was smelly, well, it smelt of sixteen year-old boy in there, and as obvious as it was that Mrs. Weasely had tried to clean up, there was still evidence that Ron had been hiding stuff from her, in there, for a VERY long time.

I know that Harry found it hard to be around me for long, as I didn't talk, and so no one seemed to understand what I was going through. It would be easier if I told them all, but I didn't know what to do. I had written everything down in the notebook, which had been a great help, but the bruises were still around my neck, hence the reason that I had been wearing I collared shirts for a very long time, to hide them. I knew they would never fade, and they looked like burns.

I had been pondering the idea of letting Harry, and his friends, and also maybe Ginny, read the diary, for a very long time. I didn't want to anger them, but I knew it would be better if they knew. It took so much deliberation, but after a while, on the final day of my visit, I passed the diary to Harry, tapping the cover, instructing Harry to read it.

Two hours late, he came into Ron's room, his face a cloud of anger, and his hand's shaking. "I am so, so sorry, that there was no one to help you. I am so sorry, and I will help you, I promise you that, I will help you. You will not be alone." He laid the book down on the bed, "I will never let anything like this happen to you again, ok?"

I nodded.

"Has Remus read this yet?"

I shook my head.

"Let him read it. He must. He needs to understand. Ok?"

I smiled, a thin watery smile, as the tears dripped down my cheeks. I was such an emotionally person. Being the nice brother that he was, he put his arms around me and hugged me, "I'll look after you, sister. I'll look after you."

It was him that I feared for.


	37. Unbreak My heart, Say you love me again

When I received the book list that year, a small badge also fell out of the envelope, with a shiny P written on it. P, for Prefect. I was a prefect!

I was a Prefect!

Remus nearly fainted when he saw it, and at the same time said that he would get my books for me that day, as he needed to get some stuff. I quickly wrote him a list of everything I needed, and he left the house, locking the door behind him. I sat in the house, and thought about showing him my diary that evening. Harry was right, I ought to show him.

And so I did. His reaction would have been funny to me, in any other situation, but not this case. His first look was ever anger, and then of great sadness, and pity. "I understand, now. I understand everything."

A week later found me sitting in the prefect's compartment on the train, although my luggage was with Harry, as were the cats. I sat, and listened to the announcements made, and what we were and were not allowed to do. The final thing we were told was the passwords for our various common rooms. Leaving the compartment with the request that we patrolled the corridors occasionally, to check for any trouble.

I made my way back to my luggage, and settled into a corner of the carriage, thinking that I would patrol later. I relaxed for a little while, and then stood up, leaving the compartment, and Harry, with some of his friends, in it. I made my way down the train, looking into compartments, to check that everything was ok. As I walked, I pulled the collar up on my shirt, hiding my neck.

I saw nothing that was wrong, and so made my way back to my own compartment, down the rocking train. I had not got far, however, when someone stood in front of me, blocking my way. I lifted my head, looking to see who it was, as I had been watching my feet, and saw Draco's familiar features in front of me.

"Hey," he greeted me. "Have a good summer?"

I nodded, and then motioned for him to let me pass. He moved to one side, and then put his arm on mine, to stop me. I turned to face him again, and he looked at me angrily, "Have I done something wrong?"

I shook my head.

"Then why aren't you talking?"

I did nothing.

"Kara, talk to me, for fuck's sake."

Still, I did nothing.

"KARA! What the fuck is wrong with you? Why the hell aren't you saying anything? Speak, goddamnit!"

Tears came to my eyes, as I could make no sound, and they dripped silently down my face, as I leant back on the carriage wall, lifting my free hand to my face, and hiding it.

"Kara? What's wrong?" I head Harry make his way towards me, and then he must have seen Draco. "Malfoy?" he spat. "What the fuck are you doing to my sister? Get your hands off her."

"What is it to you, Potter?"

"She's my sister," he growled. "Let. Her. Go."

"Ok, ok." He released me. "There you go. She can go."

I turned and fled down the corridor, back to the compartments, where I fell into the seat, more tears silently falling. I hid my face with my hands, and stared out of the window for the rest of the journey.

That evening, after the feast, I settled into a comfortable four-poster in my dorm, in Gryffindor. I had been downstairs, listening to Ginny and Kerkera exchange gossip, and converse over their summer holidays, whilst I stroked the cats, that were now both curled up on my bed, one behind my knees, the other in the small of my back.

I lay, and was in a semi-soporific state, with my eyes half-opened, when I felt someone climb into the bed in front of me, and put their arms around me, pulling me into them, and warming my body with their own. I opened my eyes, to see who was there. No one. There was no one in bed in front of me. I closed my eyes once more, and opened them.

I was no longer in my dorm in Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, but in fact in a new and strange place. And I was in someone's arms. I was in Seiji's arms. I shuffled closer into them, for if this were a dream, I didn't want it to end.

"Kara?" someone whispered in my ear. It was his voice too. I moved in even closer, with my hands between him, and myself palms laid flat on his chest. He snuffled into my hair. "Oh, Kara."

I lifted my head, as if to kiss the dream Seiji. But when I opened my eyes, he was still there. This was no dream. My mouth opened, and I let out a silent gasp.

"I missed you," he whispered. "Are you wondering why the hell you are here?"

I shut my mouth, and nodded.

"I brought you here, sorta telepathically. And I wish you could stay here. But now I have seen you, every night, every goddamn night, I will bring you here, so that I can see you."

I nodded.

"Do you promise to come?"

I nodded again.

"Is it my fault you don't talk? It is, isn't it? Dammit, well, this is gonna be difficult. Sorta, one-sided."

I smiled, a thin smile, but one all the same.

"I missed your smile. What the fuck am I on about? I missed you. I love you, y'know."

In answer to that, I kissed him, before laying my head on the pillow, beside his, and stroking his chest slightly.

"Are you falling asleep, already? Fucking hell, I haven't seen you all summer, and now you go and fall asleep. Bitch."

I cuddled in closer to him, and he once again put his arms around me.

"Sweet Dreams, Kara. Until tomorrow."

And I was asleep.


	38. Stay Home

When I woke up in the morning, I was back in my own bed, in the dorm; I sat up in the bed, and rubbed my eyes, before falling off the bed. I was in the middle of doing up my shirt, when Ginny and Kerkera walked into the room, and at once both came over, and looked at my bruised neck.

"Kara, what happened here?"

"OMG! WHAT THE HELL ARE THOSE?"

They tried to touch them, but I flinched away, and hurriedly did up my shirt, pulling the collar up on it, to hide my neck. They let it drop, and I accompanied them down to breakfast, where we were handed our timetables.

All the lessons for the rest of that week were the "You need to concentrate, so that you can pass your OWLs" lessons, in which we didn't really seem to concentrate, but that didn't matter. I was reunited with my old friends, Suki, Annabelle and Denisa, whom I allowed to read my diary, and so they understood everything. I had missed them.

But every night, without fail, I would be in Seiji's arms, as he held me. He would mutter endless things in my ear, never shutting up, and so I would often sleep with my head under the pillow, to block him out. This plan was foiled however, when he started to tickle the parts of my body not covered by anything, causing me to squirm and shake with silent laughter. So I had to put up with his babble.

One night, he had turned to me seriously, and looked into my eyes, "Hey, Kara, will you promise me something?"

I had nodded, and laid my hand on his heart.

He smiled, sadly, and then went on, "Promise me, that you will never, ever, get off this bed. When you are here, don't get off this bed. If you do, I will not be able to protect you, and he will find you, and kill you. Do you promise?"

I nodded again, hoping I understood, and my hand still on his heart, I placed his on my own, and kissed him once again.

Not being able to talk caused difficulty in some lessons, especially with the new Potions master, Professor Slughorn, whom didn't seem to understand that I couldn't talk. Luckily enough I was pretty good at Potions, but unfortunately that also caused problems, for example the time when I had been selected to answer a question.

I couldn't, and had sat there feeling most stupid, only managing to make strange noises in the very back of my throat. After about ten minutes of this, big tears had welled up in my eyes, and the Professor had finally given up, turning to ask someone else. It was horribly awkward.

Later in the term, I was walking along the corridors, with heavy books piled in my arms. At that precise moment, for no apparent reason, I jumped, shivering, and dropping all my books on the floor. My bag split open at the same time, and all my things fell to the floor, with ink bottles smashing, quills snapping, and parchment flying everywhere, as well as all my drawings. I went bright red, and was very glad that the corridor was deserted. I bent down, and quickly began gathering my items together, so that I could return to the common room, and fix my stuff.

"Kara," I heard a voice, but didn't look up. "Let me help you with that."

A pair of feet appeared in front of my face, and I looked up to see Draco towering over me. Well, he would've been, as I was crouching on the floor, but he soon came down to my level, and helped me to gather up my papers.

"I'm sorry I haven't seen you," he began. "How are you?"

I tried to speak, but yet again, the only sounds that came were the guttural squeaks from before. So I decided to try something else, and drew my wand out of my pocket, before standing up. I would try to write a sentence with sparks from my wand.

However, when I stood up, so did he, and as I drew my wand, he spoke, "Kara, what the fuck are you doing?" And then he drew his wand, and before I could even begin to write, he had stunned me, and I had fallen to the floor.

"Oops," he spoke, as he crouched down beside me, and lifted me in his arms. "Maybe she wasn't trying to curse me. Kara, Kara?" he called as he shook me.

And it was then that Harry walked around the corner, and seeing Malfoy crouching over someone, began to run, "_Oi_, Malfoy! What do you think you're doing?"

Draco dropped me, shocked, and jumped up, and backwards a few steps, "Nothing. What's it to you Potter?"

Harry rushed to my side, and seeing it was me, went violently anger, and drew his wand, "Stay away from my sister, you got that?"

Draco glared at him, and scuffed his foot on the floor, "Who the hell are you to tell me what to do?"

"Just stay away from her," Harry hissed.

Draco stalked off, and a few minutes later I came around. "Hey, you ok?" Harry asked me.

I nodded, and smiled weakly.

"Let's get this stuff picked up, and go get dinner, ok?"

I nodded again, and between us, we quickly picked up all my stuff, and managed to dump it all in the common room, before making our way downstairs for dinner.


	39. All I want for Christmas, is You

Christmas came, and passed, and I went to the Weaselys with Harry, and the Weaselys, enjoying a pleasant rest from school, and still spending every night in Seiji's comforting and warm arms, wherever he was. I was sitting in the kitchen, curled up on a chair by the warm fire, watching Harry and Ron peeling sprouts for Christmas dinner, listening half-mindedly to their conversation, and then noticing before they did that Fred and George were entering the room, just as Harry was mid-sentence, "Yeah, well, passing over Fred's left buttock—"

"Well, it is a very nice left buttock," said Fred, as he and George walked in, coming over to me and hugging me, "but changing the topic…"

Their conversation continued, and after a while, Fred and George announced that they were going into the village, turning to me, they asked me if I wanted to go along. I nodded, and pulling on my long black coat and scarf, accompanied them on the icy cold walk through the heavily falling snow, barely noticing as Fred grasped my mittened hand in his.

We walked into the village, and into the local paper shop, where a pretty muggle girl was standing behind the counter, whom Fred and George started to shamefully flirt with, in front of me, with the pretence of buying me some chocolate. I didn't particularly like chocolate, and I didn't like it even more, when they told the girl that they were buying the chocolate for their "Little sister" who basically "begged us to come in". I hit George particularly viciously on the arm, and stomped hard on Fred's toe, before turning on the spot and leaving the shop, so that all they could do was trail after me.

Remus was coming for Christmas as well, so we were all shifting rooms to accommodate everyone, what with Ginny, Fred, George, Ron, Harry, Mr and Mrs Weasely, Remus, Bill, and Bill's annoying fiancée, Fleur, as well as myself, it was all a bit cramped. I was sharing Ginny's room, with Ginny and Fleur, but Ginny herself was barely coping. I found it quite amusing, especially when Fleur's extravagant clothes got everywhere. She seemed to spend a lot of time looking for particular things, and hissing accusations at us in French. Pity I could speak the language, really, and every time she hissed, "Oú est ma brassiere?" I would answer her, an surprise her with my semi-accurate French, "Je pense c'est sur ton lit."

It worked every time.

It was good to see my godfather again, and he talked to me for a long time, checking that I was ok, and that everything was going ok.

That evening we listened two a radio broadcast of Mrs Weasely's favourite singer, and whilst the others seemed to find it a bit boring, I thought I had heard worse. After having some eggnog, which I declined, we eventually all went to bed, and woke up the next morning with presents at the end of our bed. I opened them all, and found a soft pale blue jumper from Mrs Weasely, that seemed to shimmer in the sunlight with a silver sheen. Harry gave me a book, and Remus another diary, like the other one, which was fast running out of space. Ron had got me some sweets, as had George and all my other friends. Fred had given me a silver bangle that was heavy and round. I loved it. From Draco I received a new sketchpad, on the front of which was printed an intricate Celtic design, in silver, which looked incredible on the black of the cover. And from Seiji, wherever he was, I received a beautiful silver necklace, which was a simple chain, upon which hung a beautifully designed Celtic cross, that appeared to have small flowers growing amongst its amazingly criss-crossed form.

We ate our Christmas dinner, that was interrupted, but held happily enough, and went to bed happily bloated and content. Whilst I listened to Fleur snoring, and Ginny's deep breathing, my mind wandered, until I heard my name being called, by Seiji. I closed my eyes, tight, and then opened them again, to find Seiji smiling down on me.

"Merry Christmas," he whispered, kissing me.

I smiled, and kissed him back, encircling my arms around his neck, and pulling him closer to me. My happiest memories with Seiji were always around Christmas time, and I bathed in the warmth of his company for as long as I could hold my consciousness would hold out, before once again falling asleep in his ever present arms, a small smile on my face.

I snuggled deeper into my jumper from Mrs Weasely on the cold train, listening to the buzz of voices around me, but only remembering what Seiji had said to me the night before.

I had been lying in a semi-comatose state, when he had shaken me awake, and started to speak, urgency in his voice.

"Kara, you have to go now."

I looked at him, confused.

"You need to go back to wherever you are, because I have to go."

I was still very confused.

"I'm sorry. I have to go away, but I'll hurry back, ok?"

I nodded uncertainly whilst he kissed me on the forehead.

"I'll be back soon, I promise. Sleep well." He kissed me once more, and then I closed my eyes, and opened them in my bed at the Weasely's.

I hadn't slept well that night, if at all, for I kept waking up from unpleasant dreams, most of which involved me being strangled. My neck hurt more than ever the next morning.


	40. We Used to be Together

I found myself in Seiji's bed, which was empty. He must have felt me thinking about him, back in my own bed. I was missing him, and not sleeping so well because of it. I felt myself longing for him often, and so was relieved to be back in this place again. I had hoped that if I were here, he'd be back as well. I lay there, listening hard, and waiting for his approach, that never came. After lying on the bed for about half an hour, scared by the largeness of it, my tiring ears were finally rewarded, as they strained for a sound, for I heard voices, lots of them.

And so I did what I'd promised never to do. I got off the bed, and tiptoed out of the room, my feet following the sounds of voices, Seiji's being one of the one's I could identify. I finally came to the door behind which lay the room in which they were standing, and could now hear their voices more clearly, Art, Seiji, Lord Shinzaburo, and others. I put the tips of the fingers on my left hand to the door, and gently pushed. The door swung open, with a loud creak, and I saw horrors before my eyes.

Dead bodies.

Dead bodies on the floor, and blood everywhere. There was one person, floating in mid-air, blood flowing from his body, as new and fresh wounds appeared. The blood spurted out, and a flick of it hit my face, right across the bridge of my nose. The first thought in my head was that Seiji was dead, he had been killed. But when I looked clearly, and wiped the blood from my eyes, I could see that he wasn't dead. Far from it.

He was the one doing the killing.

He held the man in the air with his wand, and sliced at him with his Katana. I could've coped with that, I knew he was capable of killing people, he had done it before. But it was the look on his face that made it the worst. The look of enjoyment and sadistic pleasure that masked the face I knew and loved. And then he laughed, and it was cold and high pitched, as he struck one more deathly blow to the man, who then fell to the floor, in pieces. Blood exploded everywhere, and I was showered in it, little drops that finely covered me.

And then, for the first time in months, my voice finally worked. Without knowing it, I had opened my mouth, and begun to scream, a deep and painful sound, that reverberated around the room, causing those in it to turn and stare at me. Seiji hurried over, and put his hands on my arms, clamping them to my sides.

"Kara, what the fuck are you doing here?"

I tried to swallow the scream, but couldn't, an ended up choking on it, as the taste of another person's blood filled my mouth. I leant forwards and violently threw up, as I heard Lord Shinzaburo calling from behind me, "Now's your chance, boy. Now you can finally kill her. Get rid of her. NOW!"

Seiji looked at me, a pained expression on his face, as he did as his master ordered, and once again I screamed, as loud as I could, before feeling someone else's hand on my shoulder, pulling me back into Hogwarts.

I opened my eyes, and could barely see through a mixture of blood, sweat and tears. And I couldn't stop whimpering with fear, at all that I had seen. I heard a firm voice, "It's ok now, Miss Potter, we're going to get you to the hospital wing, and everything will be all right," I recognised the voice, but couldn't see Professor McGonagall anywhere. "Miss Weasely, can you help me get her to the hospital wing."

"Sure, professor."

They tried to lift me up, but the moment they touched me I started to scream even more. Eventually, the managed to get me up, but getting me to the hospital wing was another matter, especially as I was still screaming, with occasional quite times when I would whimper. They half-dragged me into the common room, where many people had accumulated, in their pyjamas and Dressing gowns. I saw no one, and heard no one. I could feel that my body was wet with the blood I was covered in, and I had began to shake violently.

"Professor, what wrong with her?"

"I don't know, Potter. I honestly don't know."

Harry was at my elbow, and he grabbed hold, and tried to whisper into my ear. I screamed, and hit at him, causing him to fall to the floor, in fright. After that he hurried behind us.

I was still making quiet a racket as we went along the corridors to the hospital wing, and was waking up all the portraits. I would stop dead occasionally, and not move again until pulled on.

Other students were beginning to emerge, all coming to look at the mad girl, who wouldn't shut up. And then I saw Draco, the first person whom I had clearly seen. I stopped dead, staring at him. He spoke my name, and began to make his way towards me. I pointed at him, my hand shaking. My long finger stayed pointing at him for a while, and then my arm fell limply to my side, as I screamed yet again, and began to shout incomprehensible things, not managing to clearly form the words. My whole body shook in convulsions and spasms of fear, and I fell to my knees on the hard stone floor, cutting them, so that my own blood flowed freely, mingling with the drying bed of that man, whoever he was.

I was once again pulled to my feet, and I felt someone physically lift me, and run with me to the hospital wing. I lay on the clear white sheets, dirtying them with blood, and tears, that continually fell. I had still not stopped muttering and moaning, and it wasn't until Madam Pomfrey came over to give me some medicine, that was forced down my throat, that I fell asleep, into deeply haunted dreams.


	41. I walk this Lonely Road

Months later found me permanently excluded from Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, due to erratic behaviour and sheer emotional distress. The healers had all told me I needed emotional relief and rest, in order to recuperate properly. And so, I had been passed between people for a while, shunted around, until finally I landed up with Fred and George, in the flat above their shop. By this time, both of them had had a string of girlfriends, and although Fred was currently single, George was at, the time of my arrival, going out with Angelina Johnson.

I had moved in, and been given the spare room, seeing as they had managed to expand. Most of the day I had to myself, whilst they worked downstairs, in the shop, and so I spent my time sitting and contemplating, with Fred running up the stairs to check on me every hour or so. I would sit and stair out the window, and think how busy the people in the street below looked, and how frantic with worry. These full people, whole people, were lucky, I would think to myself. They have time to worry, and I didn't even have that anymore. I was half-empty, incomplete, and although perfectly responsive, still slightly melancholy.

My mood wasn't improved when I heard the Dumbledore was dead, he was one of the few with whom I could have felt safe, one of the few who would protect me to the death. With him gone, I held little hope.

The nightmares were getting worse and worse, and I often found myself awakened in a deep sweat, images of those who had worked hard to protect me throughout my meagre life dying, and images of me having to watch their deaths. In one of the nightmares, the most common one, I had to watch as the Weasely's were tortured, and murdered, one by one, each looking to me before they died, their eyes apologising that they could not protect me, their hearts saying different. The person torturing them? My darling Seiji. And then he turned me, and Harry would suddenly appear next to me, and look at Seiji furiously. He would hiss and spit, "If you want to kill my sister, you'll have to go through me, first."

"Aww, how cute, brotherly love. But don't worry, dear Potter. I won't kill either of you." Seiji would whisper in a silkily smooth voice.

Harry always looked surprised at this, and then he would find his voice again, "You won't?"

"Oh no, of course not."

Harry would now be looking puzzled, "Then what are you going to do?"

"I'm not going to do anything. But your dearest sister is."

"What!"

"Your sister, is going to kill you."

Harry would turn to me, tears streaming down my face, and look into my eyes, as my wand arm was raised by some invisible force, and I would speak a silent spell, shooting beams from my wand. Then he would fall to the ground, writhing in pain, and screaming. I would be crying even more, as Seiji approaches him, and leans over him, hissing, "Now, as you die, you can watch your sister kill herself, for your sake."

And yet again, my hand would rise to eye level, and with my wand, I would slit my own neck, and fall to the ground.

As I fell, and landed, dead, I would jerk awake in my own bed, tears streaming down my face, and my hands immediately going to my throat. But there would be no blood, no cuts. Just those same bruises from the years before. Tears flowing down my face, I would stumble into the bathroom, and wash my face, before treading quickly back along the hallway, and into my room once more.

Unknown to me, every night that this routine continued, Fred would lie in his bed, awake, and listening to my pain. He never told me, yet when I found out, it made sense of how he treated me in the mornings, and last thing at night.

The whole nightmare made Seiji's habit of telling me 'sweet dreams' slightly ironic now.

Life wasn't fair, and it certainly wasn't getting any better, no matter what Fred tried to do to cheer me up, and make me smile. He succeeded sometimes, but not very often. And so, I decided. It was over, and I was going to end it. Fred and George were busy downstairs in the shop, and I had the flat to myself. I went into the bathroom, and began to run a hot bath for myself, a very hot bath. I climbed into it, with all my clothes on still. The bath was boiling hot, I had added no cold, and so began to scold and burn my skin. I let out not a sound though, as I lay down in the long bath, and taking one last breath, and saying my final goodbyes, I disappeared under the surface of the water.

Fred jumped up the stairs, to find Kara, wanting to ask her something quickly. He went through the lounge, dining room and kitchen, and still didn't find her. Knocking on her bedroom door, he turned the handle when there was no answer, thinking she might have gone back to bed. A quick glance around the room told him that she wasn't in there, but on a further look, he noticed how neat and tidy everything was, with not a single one of her possessions out. The bed was neatly and perfectly made, nothing was out of place.

Except for one thing. Lying on the bed was a single scroll of parchment, tied with a blood red ribbon, and a single daisy attached to the bow. It looked so simple, so elegant against the white bedclothes, which looked as if they had never been used. He picked up the letter, and seeing his name on it, opened it.

Reading, he soon lost himself in it,

_My Dearest Fred,_

_Don't be afraid, for when you read this, the rain will be gone from my heart. Some day, I hope you'll know, that I hate myself for losing you, and hurting you so much. But I'll never truly leave you. Before I went, I wanted to talk to you, but I never had the chance. The book in my trunk will answer all your questions._

When we used to be together, it always made me happy. But now, it may feel like you're losing your best friend, but don't worry, this wont be the end. For still, I'll go wherever you will go, and you'll forever be in my heart. It is you I have loved, with others, and none of this is your fault. You must understand it. I'll never forget the way you and George helped me, especially you, and for that, I am eternally grateful.

I am sorry for what I have done, and I know it is the most shameful thing I could have done, but for me it was the only option. I didn't know what else to do. I've changed, really, I have, and the past few weeks with you have made me seem like someone else. I don't know how to take this, and I know that I will hurt you deeply, for what I have done.

What more can I do? Should I bring you all down? Should I scream, and shout? Should I speak of love, and let my feeling out? I can do none, and I am in that way helpless. Its rather funny that I should be in this position, you would never have thought me capable of it really, would you?

Tell my friends that I love them, and Harry not to worry about me. Tell Remus that I am sorry; I don't mean to hurt him. I know he could do without this. But I couldn't cope, I just couldn't. My soul was stuck in the past, and scared by what it relives there.

And finally, with my final apologies, I thank you for all that you have done for me, and hope that you will forgive me, and always remember me in a happy way. I love you, don't forget that, you'll always be deep in my heart. I tried so, not to give in to this, I said to myself, this will never go well, and yet I have done it. I'm sorry.

Yours,

Kara

The letter fluttered to the floor, as Fred had dropped it onto the floor, running from the room. He sprinted to the bathroom, and tried the handle, knowing already that it would be locked. Standing back, he lifted his wand, and fired it at the door, which then broke off its hinges, allowing Fred to step into the room. Striding in, he saw her immediately, lying in the bath, fully clothed, and motionless.

Leaning into the bath, he plunged his arms into the near boiling water, and gasping in pain, clasped his arms around her body, pulling her out of the water, and bodily lifting her from the room. Laying her on the floor in the lounge, he checked for a pulse and found a week one. He began to mutter, and talk to her, at the same time checking for breathing. After watching a while, he thought that there was nothing for it but to resuscitate her, and so did so.

Five minutes later, she lay on the floor, coughing and spluttering. By this time, George had also come upstairs, to see what was going on. He took one look at the situation, and with a frightened expression on his face, saw if he could do anything to help. They could do nothing now, except see to the burns, and put her to bed, until she woke up.

I opened my eyes, slowly, and looked around me. Wherever I was, I hadn't left the world I knew. And then I realised, I was in my bed at the twins' flat, and I was bandaged up. I tried to move, but felt a hand on my chest push me back down on the bed again, and so I lay down, looking into a face above me.

"Why did you do it?" Fred asked me.

"I wanted to die. Why did you do it?"

"I didn't want to lose you."

I looked at his eyes, and seeing his glazed over with tears, my own did the same.

"I read the book."

I could only nod.

"You should have told me.

I nodded again, "I know."

"Will you tell me now."

I nodded once more, "It won't be easy, you'll think I'm strange. If I try to explain how I feel."

"I'd rather know."

"What you read, that was it. All of that was exactly how I felt, and more. That's how it happened. There's not much more," and so I went into the whole thing again, in detail, reliving every moment, but this time, with Fred by my side, to help me, and hold my hand.

By the end, we were both in tears.

"I needed to hear that," he told me, kissing me on the forehead. "Promise me that you'll tell me everything from now on?"

"I promise. And thank you."

"For what?" he looked confused.

"For being there, for saving me. I've found my white knight now. And I never want him to let me go."

Fred looked at me, and another tear rolled down his cheek, as one rolled down mine. "He won't. You see, this damsel in distress needs him, and can't do without him." He leant towards me, and lifted me into his arms, holding me close, and whispering in my ear, "I love you." I smiled, into his red hair.

At that moment George walked into the room, "If all this soppiness is over, brother dearest, yon trusty side-kick needs a hand shifting a few things. Also, the village idiot and pretty maiden are here to see the invalid."

He stood out of the way, and Ginny and Ron walked into the room, Ron giving George a spiteful glare over his shoulder, "I don't appreciate being called a pretty maiden, and it's harsh to call Ginny the village idiot. For a start, we don't actually live in the village, and…" he couldn't finish, as Fred gave him a clout around the ear, and the twins left the room.

"How are you doing, Kara?" Ginny asked. "We came the other day, but you still weren't awake, so we decided to come back another day."

"Oh, yer, and Harry said he would come and see you, but he's really busy and he will come very soon. And Hermione sends her love." Ron added.

"And these are all for you," Ginny poured a pile of letters onto my lap.

They stayed for an hour, and then left, leaving me to read my letters, all from friends.

And one from Draco. I didn't read it, but instead left it unopened by the side of my bed. I would ask Fred to burn it later.

That side of my life was dead now, and I was going to start over.


	42. Power of Love

A twenty-two year old girl lay in the bed, her head lying on her boyfriend's stomach, as he stroked her hair, and she started to fall asleep. She was I. Seven years down the road found me still living with Fred, in a bigger house out in the country. We had been happy together, these past years, and as Fred and George's shops had got busier and busier, and the reign of the Dark Lord had ended, everything was a lot more fun, and people were often happy and smiling.

I too was smiling more often now, although I had suffered from depression a few more times since I tried to top myself. I had always come through it though, and for the past four years I had been happy, and Fred had kept me happy. The last thing to make me sad was my brother's death. He had achieved the prophecy, and killed Lord Voldemort, only to then die himself, a year later. No one knew the cause. I had wept for hours, although for no apparent reason.

I never really knew my brother.

But that was a few years ago now, and I had moved on, as best I could, and found more happiness. Fred and I were truly happy, and I was content to sit at home, and wait for him. I did work, I helped to do the books in the shop sometimes, as I enjoyed arithmacy, and I would sometimes help in the shop, but not very often, as I had begun to develop a certain shyness in my every day life of other people.

My eyes were closed, and I drifted into a deep sleep, and for the first time in years, my mind was haunted by a bad dream. For the first time in seven years, I saw him.

He was breathing heavily in my ear. He wasn't asleep, he was awake, every one of my senses told me that he was awake. I tried to move, to roll over, but as I did, I felt his arms wrap around me, and grip me tightly. His head moved closer to mine, and he whispered into my ear, "I finally found you."

_I wanted to scream, but no sound came out. I tried to wriggle away, but I couldn't, and so I began to cry, the only thing I could do. I was terrified._

"_Kara, don't cry," he whispered into my ear, pleadingly. "I have been looking for you for 4 years. I love you; I don't want to hurt you. Please, don't cry. I'll do anything, just don't cry. I never meant to hurt you."_

_I found my voice, the voice he hadn't heard me use properly for nearly 8 years, "Fuck you, Seiji. You never meant to hurt me? Then you could have been a hell of a lot more careful."_

"_You can speak? You can say my name? What? Don't say that, Kara. I love you, don't say things like that," he spoke into my hair._

"_Don't' do this to me, Ben. Don't make me hurt anymore. I don't want it. I want to be happy. I don't want to cry anymore."_

"_You're supposed to be happy, aren't you? I was told you were happy." His grip tightened even more._

"_Please, let me go." I begged, as fresh tears fell._

_He sounded crestfallen, and released me, and I climbed off the bed, before turning to look at him. He looked sad, and I felt as if my heart was tearing as I walked away._

Waking up in my own bed once more, lying next to Fred, I found myself drenched in a clammy sweat, and shaking. I left Fred's side, and rolled out of the bed, stumbling to the bathroom, in which I stripped off, into complete nakedness, and then climbed into the shower, washing away my dream. Yet all I managed to do was relive it, and the tears dripped down my face once more. I closed my eyes, and tried to let the water cleanse me.

"Why are you crying?" Fred asked me, and I jumped, having not heard him, and then seeing him stand there.

"I don't know."

"You…you're ok, aren't you? In yourself, I mean? You're not…"

"Not what? Depressed? I don't know, anymore." I smiled, a weak and watery smile. "I'll be ok. I think."

"Ok. Well, come back to bed soon, ok?"

I nodded, and stood in the shower just that moment longer.

When I awoke in the morning, Fred had already left for work, leaving me a note that informed me that he would be home later, well into the afternoon.

I was to be alone all day.


End file.
